That resounding SPLAT! you
heard was the sound of Snakes on a Plane crashing to earth. The
number one movie the first week it opened, once word got out that the
reality was nowhere near the hype, it dropped faster than the Indians
April lead in the AL Central.
Speaking of winners and losers
(Indians)…now that it’s September, let’s do a quick post mortem
on the Summer Blockbusters and find out who won and lost regarding the
all important dollar figures (critical comments aside…sorta).
1. Pirates of the Caribbean:
Dead Man’s Chest. Estimated Budget - $225 million.
Current domestic box office - $410 million. Profit - $185 million
(not counting world wide, where it’s also cleaning up. Capt.
Jack Sparrow has bin berry, berry good to Disney).
2. The DaVinci Code.
WHAT?!?! I thought that thing was a bomb?!? Think again.
Estimated Budget - $125 million. Domestic box office - $217 million.
Profit - $92 million
3. The Break Up.
Estimated Budget - $52 million. Domestic Box Office - $120 million.
Profit - $68 million.
4. Click. Estimated
Budget - $70 million. Domestic Box Office - $135 million.
Profit - $65 million
5. Talladega Nights.
Estimated Budget - $73 million. Current domestic box office -
$125 million. Profit - $52 million. If making fun of rednecks
is this profitable, where is MY cut?
5. Mission Impossible 3.
Estimated Budget - $150 million. Domestic box office - $133 million.
Loss - $17 million. And Tom Cruise was shocked that he was dropped?
4. Lady in the Water.
Estimated Budget - $75 million. Domestic box office - $41 million.
Loss - $34 million. I somehow doubt this will temper the ego of
M. Night Shyamalan, which has reached Billickian proportions.
3. Miami Vice.
Estimated budget - $135 million. Current domestic box office -
$65 million. Loss - $70 million. Next time Michael Mann
might want to spend a few more bucks on a script writer.
2. Superman Returns.
Estimated budget - $270 million. Current domestic box office -
$195 million. Loss - $75 million. Not a good summer for
superheroes. X-Men 3 made a profit of $25 million, far, far below
what the other two raked in.
1. Poseidon. Estimated
budget - $160 million. Domestic box office - $60 million.
Loss - $100 million. Since Warner Brothers put out both this bomb
and Superman Returns…guess how much fun it would be to sit in their
board meetings right about now?
~ Test audiences evidently
didn’t think that much of the new Spider-man movie, so the principals
have been called back in for additional filming of more action sequences.
I’m just hoping this isn’t a sign that Spidey 3 will suck as bad
as X-Men 3.
~ Paul Giamatti will work for
Tom Hanks on an upcoming HBO mini-series about the life of second President
John Adams. The series will focus heavily on Adams’ tireless
work spearheading the American Revolution. The series is scheduled
to be shown in March 2008.
This week’s new releases:
You can tell it’s the last
holiday of the summer, because Hollywood has assumed that everyone will
want to be outside this weekend, hence the release of three movies that
don’t inspire many to rush to the theater. And it’s even worse
on the DVD side, with only one new movie release showing up on shelves
Starring: Jason Statham, Amy
Plot: A man is injected
with a poison that will kill him if he doesn’t keep his adrenalin
The BeerBuzz: Statham
has developed a good fan base of his action flicks after his “Transporter”
movies. This will probably be the #1 movie of the weekend, unless
it can’t beat out “Invincible” in its second week. Look
for hundreds of ignorant rednecks to be pissed off when they get to
the theater and find out that just because the title is “Crank”,
that doesn’t mean the employees of the multiplex are handing out crystal
Title: The Wicker Man
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ellen
Burstyn, Leelee Sobieski
Plot: A local sheriff
investigates a missing girl on a really creepy island.
The BeerBuzz: Remake
of a classic 1973 horror flick. Unlike the earlier remake of the
summer, “The Omen”, they’ve changed things around in this one,
with the creepy island being dominated by a bunch of creepy women…all
of which are someone’s ex-wife or mother-in-law…and it can’t get
much creepier than that. Another fine edition to Nic Cage’s
strange career; right up there with “Lords of War”, “The Weather
Man”, and “Windtalkers”.
Starring: Anthony Mackie, Wesley
Jonathan, Wayne Brady
Plot: Two best friends who
are talented basketball players go to LA with different intentions;
one to play for UCLA, the other to play for a streetball championship.
The BeerBuzz: Wayne Brady
as a bad guy? All I can think of is the Chapelle skit where Brady
would do his happy singing routine, and then kill some cops. This
obviously can’t be as funny, so if you must get your basketball fix;
stay up until 3 AM and watch LeBron in the World Championships.
New DVD Releases on
Tuesday, September 5th
– No jokes on this one. If you are ready for it, this is
a moving, excellent rendition of that fateful 9/11 flight. Or
so I’ve heard, as I’m not quite there yet.
Lost: the Complete Second
Season – Just in time to watch all the weirdness to get you ready
for the third season. I will say that the second season is not
as confusing as the first. Which means I’m only 95% confused
now. Still a great series.
Next week: Hollywoodland,
The Covenant, The Protector
Upcoming Biggies (click on
the hyperlink to view the available trailers).
The Black Dahlia – September 15th –
Brian DePalma’s latest, a film noir treatment of a James Ellroy novel.
Scarlett Johannson looks totally hot in it.
All the King’s
September 22nd Sean Penn, Jude Law, and James Gandolfini
in the classic remake of the thinly veiled tale of the life of Louisiana
governor Huey Long.
Children of Men – September 29th –
Futuristic movie with Clive Owen and Juliana Moore where women can no
longer bear children, and mankind seems doomed to extinction until one
woman mysteriously becomes pregnant
The Departed: October 6th - Scorsese’s
latest with the Cast To Die For. Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo
DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, and Ray Winstone
in a story about a cop (Leo) who has infiltrated the mob, and a mobster
(Damon) who has infiltrated the cops.
Man of the Year: October 13th – Robin
Williams as a Jon Stewart type commentator/comedian who runs for President
as an Independent to shake things up…and wins.
Flags of Our Fathers:
October 20th - Director Clint Eastwood’s tale of
the men who raised the flag on Iwo Jima.
The Prestige: October 20th – Christopher
Nolan (Momento) directs Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, and Scarlett Johansson
in a turn of the century mystery about two magicians. This one
has some great early buzz.
October 27th Eric Bana/Drew Barrymore movie centering
on the Poker Craze and the World Series of Poker.
November 10th - Ridley Scott’s latest with a kinder, gentler
Russell Crowe and a plot line revolving around a vineyard. Crowe
and booze…always an interesting combination.
Casino Royale: November 17th - Daniel
Craig in his first appearance as 007. Good early buzz on this
The Fountain: November 22nd – Hugh
Jackman as a 16th Century Conquistador who finds the real
fountain of youth and spends 1000 years searching for a way to save
Déjà Vu: November
22nd – Denzel Washington in a Tony Scott time travel
December 22nd – Adrian!!!! I want to watch Matlock!!!!
The Good Shepherd –
December 22nd – Robert Di Niro directs Matt Damon, Anjelina
Jolie and himself in a tale of the early years of the CIA.
Dreamgirls – December
25th – Big budget adaptation of the Broadway musical with
Beyonce, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy.
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