If you like to wax poetic and embrace great sadness over the possible fate of Kicker Phil Dawson at the end of the season, man, does Tony Grossi have the article for you.
Included are such doom-portending passages as:
Phil Dawson senses that Sunday's game against the Pittsburgh Steelers will be his last as the Browns' kicker.
He will be 36 on Jan. 23, but he's far from retiring.
"They're going to have to kick me out the door," Dawson said of eventually hanging up his cleats.
But that's kind of what the Browns are doing to the only full-time kicker they have employed since 1999.
Dawson's contract ends after this season. The Browns have made no meaningful attempt to re-sign him. When a player of Dawson's stature finishes a season unsigned, he is as good as gone in free agency. The Browns know that.
This may be true, but the Free Agency period hardly starts on Monday. But there's more!
It will be the unavoidable realization that he is kicking for the last time wearing a Browns uniform.
"It doesn't change my job responsibility," Dawson said. "I have a job to do. I signed my name on the dotted line. Until that's no longer the case, I'm going to continue doing my job. The challenge this week is to embrace the rivalry and block out whatever distractions there may be and, in this case, possibly being my last game [with the Browns]."
Does anyone remember when Josh Cribbs had played his last game with the Browns? The media ate that up too... Onward!
Dawson said he's not bitter or upset about his career in Cleveland seemingly coming to an end.
"I'm just appreciative to be able to play for the Cleveland Browns," he said. "I'm not emotional but I am sentimental. I'll soak it all in."
I hope you don't mind, Phil (and Tony), but personally I'll wait to write the obituary until you're actually gone.
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