Stop me if you’ve heard this one - the Browns are one of just four NFL franchises that have never played in a Super Bowl.

I’m willing to bet my next 401k contribution that whenever you’ve heard that statement, you’ve countered by trying to explain that the Browns have indeed won four NFL championships - the title game simply wasn’t called the “Super Bowl” at the time.

And no doubt whoever you were talking to snickered and rolled his eyes, labeling you a warped sociopath disturbingly out of touch with reality.

Weary after a quarter-century of hissing at anyone who’s pompously made this statement, I’ve come to a game-changing conclusion. 

They’re right.

The pre-Super Bowl argument - generally made by Bengals and Steelers fans - is rock-solid.

Because it wasn’t called the “Super Bowl” at the time, the Browns’ quartet of NFL titles should be vacated - as should the achievement of any NFL team or player prior to the creation of Go-Go Boots.

After all, to take pride in a championship season that happened in a time when Chunky wasn’t the official soup of the NFL is like bragging about having owned prime Manhattan real estate in the 13th century.

Thus, the Atlanta Falcons, who stumbled backward into one title-game appearance only to be promptly emasculated, clearly have a more respected overall history than the Browns. As do the other nine teams that have reached that point but never finished the job.

That’s because they embarrassed themselves in the “Super Bowl,” not the “Leather Helmet Derby” or whatever they used to call it back when “Congress” was spelled with an “f.”

Turns out, Browns fans have been wrong all these years. But, since a lot of us were born before the first Super Bowl was played, that’s understandable. Basically everything from that geologic period in history is both defective and perverted.

And that got me thinking - why stop with football? Since time didn’t begin until Super Bowl I in 1967, and anything that happened before the Super Bowl doesn’t count, shouldn’t we also apply this mentality to everything else, just to keep things consistent?

So in that spirit, here’s a partial list of other things that shouldn’t be recognized because they occurred before the NFL title game was called the “Super Bowl”:

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You may not have heard, but Super Bowl XLVI is this Sunday. The game itself has flown a bit under the radar because the participants represent two small markets in Boston and New York.

But the game is on the minds of Cleveland fans because of New England coach Bill Belichick, who is going for his fourth Super Bowl championship. The fact that none of those championships came in Cleveland, where Belichick was coach from 1991 to 1995, still gives many Browns fans agita.

Honestly, though, it’s been more than 20 years since Belichick was hired as Browns coach and 16 years since he was fired, so we’ve pretty much forgotten why we are supposed to be mad at him.

Sure, Belichick cut Bernie Kosar when the only healthy quarterback on the roster was Todd Philcox.

And Belichick was just 3-8 vs. Pittsburgh.

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As the offseason begins one of the first things people usually analyze is the roster as they give their opnions on and evaluations on players and their performance. I am going to start from the top and talk about how the organization performed from the owner down to the GM.

Owner 

The Browns have an owner who doesn’t claim to be a “football man” and one who takes the approach that he will hire the proper people and let them do their job. Owner Randy Lerner actually lives in Cleveland now and seems to be more engaged then he has ever been with the Cleveland Browns.

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Quincy Morgan’s had enough.

He’s not angry, he’s not bitter, and he truly wishes the best for the Browns and their fans.

“I take pride in being a Cleveland Brown,” he says, moments after pointing out how ready he was to get out of Cleveland in 2004. He makes both statements sincerely and with real conviction.

Morgan is remembered by most Browns fans as a squandered second-round draft pick who dropped every pass ever thrown at him. Fairly or unfairly (and burdened by having a name unique enough to be memorable), Quincy Morgan is still brought up whenever a current Browns receiver drops a pass.

Did he drop more than his fair share of passes? Probably. Did he live up to expectations as a second-round draft pick? Probably not. 

He’s become, in his own words, a “Paul Bunyan character” in the eyes of Browns fans. The number of drops we remember him making has gradually grown and become more pathetic in the seven years since he was traded for Antonio Bryant. To listen to some people, you’d wonder if Morgan ever actually caught a pass between the two bricks at the end of his arms.

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