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Because There's No Tennis Forum...

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Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby peeker643 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 9:44 pm

I just wanted to state here that Serena Williams is a freaking monster.

I wish D'Qwell was that big and that athletic.

Sorry. Always loved the first week of the Open and the occasional classic late night tennis. Not much drama tonight but still...
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby HoodooMan » Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:01 pm

If I was Serena Williams, I'd enjoy storming into Applebee's and challenging dudes to arm wrestle. Just sliding into the booth in front of 'em--fuck you, wifey!--slamming my elbow down on the table and grunting, "Today is NOT your lucky day, Walter!" (Their names would generally be Walter or something close enough that they'd know I was speaking to them and not someone else.)

Someday I'd find myself in an Applebee's where Brandon Weeden was eating, and I'd have to go home unfulfilled, because he'd be too locked in on his Honey Pepper Chicken Tenders to notice me sitting across from him, staring him down, itching to snap his forearm, giddy over the prospects of making him cry. But when I got home, I'd watch Over The Top for the thousandth time, and things would be mostly OK again.

I assume that you & Hiko agree that this is likely how this would play out.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Squints » Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:23 pm

Completely humiliated her opponent tonight, who has a French Open to her credit. No emotion, no taunting, just business.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby peeker643 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:35 pm

HoodooMan wrote:If I was Serena Williams, I'd enjoy storming into Applebee's and challenging dudes to arm wrestle. Just sliding into the booth in front of 'em--fuck you, wifey!--slamming my elbow down on the table and grunting, "Today is NOT your lucky day, Walter!" (Their names would generally be Walter or something close enough that they'd know I was speaking to them and not someone else.)

Someday I'd find myself in an Applebee's where Brandon Weeden was eating, and I'd have to go home unfulfilled, because he'd be too locked in on his Honey Pepper Chicken Tenders to notice me sitting across from him, staring him down, itching to snap his forearm, giddy over the prospects of making him cry. But when I got home, I'd watch Over The Top for the thousandth time, and things would be mostly OK again.

I assume that you & Hiko agree that this is likely how this would play out.


I can't wait to see his Corel Art answering the question.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:51 am

peeker643 wrote:
HoodooMan wrote:If I was Serena Williams, I'd enjoy storming into Applebee's and challenging dudes to arm wrestle. Just sliding into the booth in front of 'em--fuck you, wifey!--slamming my elbow down on the table and grunting, "Today is NOT your lucky day, Walter!" (Their names would generally be Walter or something close enough that they'd know I was speaking to them and not someone else.)

Someday I'd find myself in an Applebee's where Brandon Weeden was eating, and I'd have to go home unfulfilled, because he'd be too locked in on his Honey Pepper Chicken Tenders to notice me sitting across from him, staring him down, itching to snap his forearm, giddy over the prospects of making him cry. But when I got home, I'd watch Over The Top for the thousandth time, and things would be mostly OK again.

I assume that you & Hiko agree that this is likely how this would play out.


I can't wait to see his Corel Art answering the question.

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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:54 am

HoodooMan wrote:If I was Serena Williams, I'd enjoy storming into Applebee's and challenging dudes to arm wrestle. Just sliding into the booth in front of 'em--fuck you, wifey!--slamming my elbow down on the table and grunting, "Today is NOT your lucky day, Walter!" (Their names would generally be Walter or something close enough that they'd know I was speaking to them and not someone else.)

Someday I'd find myself in an Applebee's where Brandon Weeden was eating, and I'd have to go home unfulfilled, because he'd be too locked in on his Honey Pepper Chicken Tenders to notice me sitting across from him, staring him down, itching to snap his forearm, giddy over the prospects of making him cry. But when I got home, I'd watch Over The Top for the thousandth time, and things would be mostly OK again.

I assume that you & Hiko agree that this is likely how this would play out.


Yes.

To be fair, whose forearm wouldn't she snap?

When she plays, it's like watching Predator vs. Alvin (or the female chipmunk counterpart).
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:09 am

Squints wrote:Completely humiliated her opponent tonight, who has a French Open to her credit. No emotion, no taunting, just business.


You should YouTube when she was DQ'd from the US Open Semifinal a couple years ago for threatening a linesperson if you think she's all business.

When she's rolling someone, she's all business. When it's close, she's psycho.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby HoodooMan » Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:32 am

Hikohadon wrote:To be fair, whose forearm wouldn't she snap?


In their primes, if Arnold & Lou Farrigno were eating at Applebee's, one sitting in the lap of the other, and they kind of coiled their forearms into one massive forearm; they'd still lose, but I think they might escape the match without any broken bones.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby motherscratcher » Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:40 am

Hikohadon wrote:To be fair, whose forearm wouldn't she snap?


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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 7:52 pm

Good match on right now with Stosur and 17 year old American Victoria Duval. Good crop of American girls coming up. Not so much with the boys.

Will watch the men's come second week, the way things are now in men's tennis that's really when the tourney starts. Rooting for Lisicki on the women's side, pound for pound the most talented player on tour not named Serena but so inconsistent. Outside of that, women's draw a mess - need some of that new blood to step up and establish.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:29 pm

Tirico prefaced Duval talking by saying she sounds like a 17 year old.

No, she sounds like a muppet.

Good win for her though. She can't win consistently with a powder puff serve like that, but she's young enough to develop one.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby peeker643 » Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:47 pm

Hikohadon wrote:Tirico prefaced Duval talking by saying she sounds like a 17 year old.

No, she sounds like a muppet.

Good win for her though. She can't win consistently with a powder puff serve like that, but she's young enough to develop one.


Does Sloane Stephens have legit game? She struggled yesterday mightily.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:21 pm

peeker643 wrote:
Hikohadon wrote:Tirico prefaced Duval talking by saying she sounds like a 17 year old.

No, she sounds like a muppet.

Good win for her though. She can't win consistently with a powder puff serve like that, but she's young enough to develop one.


Does Sloane Stephens have legit game? She struggled yesterday mightily.


She's got a very legit game, mainly off the ground. She beat Serena and Sharapova this year, you can't scoff at that. She just comes and goes mentally, usually depending on the quality of her opponent. Maybe she'll get that Serena/Maria Kill 'Em All focus as she goes.

Oh, and in her press conferences, she comes off as blonde as fuck.
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill 2.0 » Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:26 pm

Real men play handball

...and mother for the win!
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Re: Because There's No Tennis Forum...

Unread postby Hikohadon » Fri Aug 30, 2013 3:31 pm

Stupid fucking Sabine Inconsisticki.
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