Text Size

Cleveland Browns & The NFL

Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Talk Browns football and discuss the NFL here.

Moderators: peeker643, jb, swerb, pup

Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby justmebd » Sun Aug 18, 2013 3:41 pm

So I married a Steelers fan. Nobody's perfect.

The usual rule on Browns/Steelers day is: If the Browns win, I have sex with her, and if the Steelers win, she has sex with me. It's a win/win situation.

Anyway, her family obtained tickets to Steelers training camp, and to my horror, she took our 3-year old son. This is grounds for divorce, but I decided to make the best of the situation.

I spent the entire week getting my son to say "Steelers Stink" at every opportunity, and to my delight, she told me he kept saying that while they walked the grounds.

Even better, and us Browns fans can hold this up high: My wife was upset, HORRIFIED I tell you, that upon getting to the camp site and trying to interact with the players, the other Steelers fans had no problem punching, kicking, and generally trying to trample our kid to get ahead of him. She was SUPRISED I TELL YOU!!!

My reply: "You were surprised a bunch of inbred, redneck jackasses were all a bunch of complete assholes?"

My son reportedly was traumatized by the experience and had several meltdowns. I refused to go, preferring to stay home and actually try and get something constructive accomplished, like doing nothing on only my second Friday off of the entire year.

Anecdote No. 2: The Steelers, with the exception of Polamalu, were all complete dicks to everybody. She "couldn't BELIEVE" Rapistburger completely ignored everybody on his was on and off the field.

Again, my reply: "You're surprised an accused rapist and notorious self-centered ass wouldn't stop to talk to fans and children? Unless there was a local TV crew or ESPN around, he wasn't going to stop and do jack shit."

In short, my son now has no interest in the Steelers, ran around their training camp yelling "Steelers Stinky!" and now is back in his Browns shirts and drinking from his Bernie Kosar cup. Even my wife is a little miffed at "her" team right now and is conceding he probably won't root for the yinzers.

All in all, it was a successful trip.

Side note: My father was in the same restaurant as Kosar the other night, and he said Kosar spent a good 15-20 minutes before AND after his dinner signing autographs and taking pictures. Couldn't have been a nicer guy to everybody.
User avatar
justmebd
 
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:27 pm
Location: Youngstown, OH
Favorite Player: Gary Gygax
Least Favorite Player: Heinz Field Occupant

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby Hikohadon » Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:32 pm

A good win, although I must admit that marrying a Steelers fan, you are a stronger man than I. No way I can handle that kind of nonsense around the house on Sundays.
It's only progress if you eventually get somewhere.
User avatar
Hikohadon
 
Posts: 4300
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 9:33 am
Favorite Player: Scotch
Least Favorite Player: Gin

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby leadpipe » Sun Aug 18, 2013 7:11 pm

Did you get her to take the testicle trailer hitch off her truck before she married you?
User avatar
leadpipe
The Reverend
 
Posts: 6582
Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2007 1:58 am

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby Squints » Sun Aug 18, 2013 7:12 pm

Like you inferred in your post, does not and should not surprise anyone. I thought you were going to say someone knocked over yor son for the Steelers stink chant.
Squints
 
Posts: 649
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:47 pm
Location: Fairview, PA
Favorite Player: Howard, Tim
Least Favorite Player: Howard, Desmond

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby justmebd » Sun Aug 18, 2013 8:45 pm

leadpipe wrote:Did you get her to take the testicle trailer hitch off her truck before she married you?

I didn't have to, her brother has it. (I wish I was kidding)

What's really strange is that her father is a Packers fan and her mother could care less. I guess it's from growing up in the crappy rural PA school system she graduated from.
User avatar
justmebd
 
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:27 pm
Location: Youngstown, OH
Favorite Player: Gary Gygax
Least Favorite Player: Heinz Field Occupant

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby DeanSheen » Tue Aug 20, 2013 9:50 am

This story warms my heart.

Another win/win for you!
I met my Spergon Wynn's mom once in a bar in Houston. It was a little awkward.
User avatar
DeanSheen
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 10:05 am
Location: Cleveland (yes, in the city)
Favorite Player: Asdrubal
Least Favorite Player: Hafner

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby motherscratcher » Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:07 am

I went to a Browns game at Heinz about a decade ago. It was the game when the dude from Grove City College, RJ Bowers I think, ran roughshod over our defense.

I went with some friends from Youngstown who were all Steelers fans. Tailgated for hours before the game and everything. Honestly, I can't think of a single problem. Any shit I got was good natured. Mostly I think they just felt sorry for me.

I wasn't all decked out in Browns stuff, though. Just a Browns hat, I think.
According to my sources CDT farts in the tub and bites the bubbles.
User avatar
motherscratcher
Little Larry Sellers
 
Posts: 7748
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:14 pm
Location: La La Land
Favorite Player: Ernie Camacho
Least Favorite Player: Jose Mesa

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby JacksonDysonJackson » Tue Aug 20, 2013 11:55 am

Mostly I think they just felt sorry for me.


And that's the worst part. Our sucking killed the rivalry.
User avatar
JacksonDysonJackson
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2010 9:32 pm
Favorite Player: Bernie
Least Favorite Player: Derek

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby jb » Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:07 pm

JacksonDysonJackson wrote:
Mostly I think they just felt sorry for me.


And that's the worst part. Our sucking killed the rivalry.


Maybe it was MoScra that killed it cause they just felt sorry for him?
jb
 
Posts: 17730
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 7:08 pm
Location: Defend Youngstown
Favorite Player: Daddy Rich / Carwa$h
Least Favorite Player: Hines Ward

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby motherscratcher » Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:33 pm

jb wrote:
JacksonDysonJackson wrote:
Mostly I think they just felt sorry for me.


And that's the worst part. Our sucking killed the rivalry.


Maybe it was MoScra that killed it cause they just felt sorry for him?


A distinct possibility
According to my sources CDT farts in the tub and bites the bubbles.
User avatar
motherscratcher
Little Larry Sellers
 
Posts: 7748
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:14 pm
Location: La La Land
Favorite Player: Ernie Camacho
Least Favorite Player: Jose Mesa

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby jb » Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:35 pm

Brian - Rommell was right. You stop the invasion at the water's edge. I either hid, discarded, or returned ant inbred gear my then in laws tried to get to my kids, and I let them know about it.

But having said that glad it worked out for you.... so far.
jb
 
Posts: 17730
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 7:08 pm
Location: Defend Youngstown
Favorite Player: Daddy Rich / Carwa$h
Least Favorite Player: Hines Ward

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby Love child of shawn kemp » Tue Aug 20, 2013 1:27 pm

My brother asked his four year old a while back what his favorite color was. The reply was yellow and black, not necessarily due to the steelers, but yellow and black none the less. He got sent to his room.
User avatar
Love child of shawn kemp
 
Posts: 368
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 10:37 am
Favorite Player: Flash Gordon
Least Favorite Player: TWofA

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby Nicastro13 » Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:08 pm

The Steelers have looked downright awful in their first two preseasons in case anyone hasn't watched, their O-Line is an absolute mess. And I love it. Over/under on Rapists Games played has to be 8...
User avatar
Nicastro13
 
Posts: 447
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:51 pm
Location: Farrell, PA
Favorite Player: Kyrie
Least Favorite Player: Joe Pittsburgh Fan

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby justmebd » Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:06 pm

jb wrote:Brian - Rommell was right. You stop the invasion at the water's edge. I either hid, discarded, or returned ant inbred gear my then in laws tried to get to my kids, and I let them know about it.

But having said that glad it worked out for you.... so far.

My mother-in-law consistently buys him Browns stuff. I think most of his Browns clothes/gear actually are from her.
User avatar
justmebd
 
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:27 pm
Location: Youngstown, OH
Favorite Player: Gary Gygax
Least Favorite Player: Heinz Field Occupant

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby justmebd » Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:11 pm

Nicastro13 wrote:The Steelers have looked downright awful in their first two preseasons in case anyone hasn't watched, their O-Line is an absolute mess. And I love it. Over/under on Rapists Games played has to be 8...

My best friend (A Steelers fan, this is a running theme in my life) and I were tag-teaming two 18 year olds (Scotch, that is. ZING!!!) while watching that game on Monday.

His comment at the beginning of the 2nd quarter: "God, this team SUCKS!!!"

I just smiled and kept drinking.

Side Note: 18 year old scotches were Chivas 18 and the new Johnnie Walker Platinum. The Platinum is EXCELLENT, and it should be available in Ohio before the end of the year (This bottle courtesy of Duty Free).
User avatar
justmebd
 
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:27 pm
Location: Youngstown, OH
Favorite Player: Gary Gygax
Least Favorite Player: Heinz Field Occupant

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby OldDawg » Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:50 pm

motherscratcher wrote:I went to a Browns game at Heinz about a decade ago. It was the game when the dude from Grove City College, RJ Bowers I think, ran roughshod over our defense.

I went with some friends from Youngstown who were all Steelers fans. Tailgated for hours before the game and everything. Honestly, I can't think of a single problem. Any shit I got was good natured. Mostly I think they just felt sorry for me.

I wasn't all decked out in Browns stuff, though. Just a Browns hat, I think.

In all likelihood, you tailgated so hard you just were numb to, or completely can't remember the crap they put you through!
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." -- Winston Churchill
User avatar
OldDawg
 
Posts: 3882
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:05 pm
Favorite Player: Mark Price
Least Favorite Player: LePunk Jims

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby OldDawg » Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:57 pm

motherscratcher wrote:
jb wrote:
JacksonDysonJackson wrote:
Mostly I think they just felt sorry for me.


And that's the worst part. Our sucking killed the rivalry.


Maybe it was MoScra that killed it cause they just felt sorry for him?


A distinct possibility

Any other franchise and that's a distinct possibility. But the inbreds?

My son and I went to see the Browns play at NO vs the Saints. We were dressed in Browns garb. And most of the fans there went out of their way to be nice to us. They pitied us. Its like every one of them was saying, "Hey, we feel your pain... we used to be the 'Aints."

Then after the game (the Browns won... remember the lateral on the kickoff and the fake punt) when walking around the French Quarter folks kept saying, "great game you guys played," like we actually had something to do with it.

Of course we had 3 locals yell from cars stuff like, "Hey, say hello to LeBron for me, hahaha!" At which point I had to restrain my son from yelling back, "Say good by to CP3 for us!"
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." -- Winston Churchill
User avatar
OldDawg
 
Posts: 3882
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:05 pm
Favorite Player: Mark Price
Least Favorite Player: LePunk Jims

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby OldDawg » Tue Aug 20, 2013 11:00 pm

justmebd wrote:So I married a Steelers fan.

And justmedb, I have been wondering since that very first line in this thread.....

just wondering if before you married your Steelers-fan wife, did you require her to shave her armpits on a regular basis?

Sorry. I just had to ask. :hide:
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." -- Winston Churchill
User avatar
OldDawg
 
Posts: 3882
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:05 pm
Favorite Player: Mark Price
Least Favorite Player: LePunk Jims

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby motherscratcher » Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:24 am

OldDawg wrote:
justmebd wrote:So I married a Steelers fan.

And justmedb, I have been wondering since that very first line in this thread.....

just wondering if before you married your Steelers-fan wife, did you require her to shave her armpits on a regular basis?

Sorry. I just had to ask. :hide:


I was wondering something else. When your wife is getting ready for bed, what's the first thing she does after she brushes her teeth?

My guess is she puts them in a jar on the sink.
According to my sources CDT farts in the tub and bites the bubbles.
User avatar
motherscratcher
Little Larry Sellers
 
Posts: 7748
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:14 pm
Location: La La Land
Favorite Player: Ernie Camacho
Least Favorite Player: Jose Mesa

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby justmebd » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:11 am

motherscratcher wrote:
OldDawg wrote:
justmebd wrote:So I married a Steelers fan.

And justmedb, I have been wondering since that very first line in this thread.....

just wondering if before you married your Steelers-fan wife, did you require her to shave her armpits on a regular basis?

Sorry. I just had to ask. :hide:


I was wondering something else. When your wife is getting ready for bed, what's the first thing she does after she brushes her teeth?

My guess is she puts them in a jar on the sink.

I guess I walked into that one.
User avatar
justmebd
 
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:27 pm
Location: Youngstown, OH
Favorite Player: Gary Gygax
Least Favorite Player: Heinz Field Occupant

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby Nicastro13 » Wed Aug 21, 2013 9:08 am

justmebd wrote:
Nicastro13 wrote:The Steelers have looked downright awful in their first two preseasons in case anyone hasn't watched, their O-Line is an absolute mess. And I love it. Over/under on Rapists Games played has to be 8...

My best friend (A Steelers fan, this is a running theme in my life) and I were tag-teaming two 18 year olds (Scotch, that is. ZING!!!) while watching that game on Monday.

His comment at the beginning of the 2nd quarter: "God, this team SUCKS!!!"

I just smiled and kept drinking.

Side Note: 18 year old scotches were Chivas 18 and the new Johnnie Walker Platinum. The Platinum is EXCELLENT, and it should be available in Ohio before the end of the year (This bottle courtesy of Duty Free).



Had a similar conversation with a good friend of mine from College, who actually knows the game and his argument isn't "but we got six!" like most of the idiots, and he said the same. If you look at that team and dont see 8-8 as a ceiling your arent watching the same team.
User avatar
Nicastro13
 
Posts: 447
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:51 pm
Location: Farrell, PA
Favorite Player: Kyrie
Least Favorite Player: Joe Pittsburgh Fan

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby leadpipe » Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:52 pm

Nicastro13 wrote:
justmebd wrote:
Nicastro13 wrote:The Steelers have looked downright awful in their first two preseasons in case anyone hasn't watched, their O-Line is an absolute mess. And I love it. Over/under on Rapists Games played has to be 8...

My best friend (A Steelers fan, this is a running theme in my life) and I were tag-teaming two 18 year olds (Scotch, that is. ZING!!!) while watching that game on Monday.

His comment at the beginning of the 2nd quarter: "God, this team SUCKS!!!"

I just smiled and kept drinking.

Side Note: 18 year old scotches were Chivas 18 and the new Johnnie Walker Platinum. The Platinum is EXCELLENT, and it should be available in Ohio before the end of the year (This bottle courtesy of Duty Free).



Had a similar conversation with a good friend of mine from College, who actually knows the game and his argument isn't "but we got six!" like most of the idiots, and he said the same. If you look at that team and dont see 8-8 as a ceiling your arent watching the same team.


Especially when you consider Tomlin and his pre-season past. He is a guy that LIKES to win and set a tone in the pre-season. They are in touble.
User avatar
leadpipe
The Reverend
 
Posts: 6582
Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2007 1:58 am

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby OldDawg » Wed Aug 21, 2013 5:04 pm

justmebd wrote:
motherscratcher wrote:
OldDawg wrote:
justmebd wrote:So I married a Steelers fan.

And justmedb, I have been wondering since that very first line in this thread.....

just wondering if before you married your Steelers-fan wife, did you require her to shave her armpits on a regular basis?

Sorry. I just had to ask. :hide:


I was wondering something else. When your wife is getting ready for bed, what's the first thing she does after she brushes her teeth?

My guess is she puts them in a jar on the sink.

I guess I walked into that one.

My brothers live out of state and are huge Browns fans. In fact one is the pres of his local Browns Backers.

They were all in town a long time ago. One brother had a son that was about 3 yrs old (now near 30). His wife dresses the son (my nephew for those following along) in Steelers pajamas and sends him into my mom's living room. To this day I don't think my nephew has gotten over the trauma of being relentlessly booed as a cute 3-yr old kid by his own flesh and blood.
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." -- Winston Churchill
User avatar
OldDawg
 
Posts: 3882
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:05 pm
Favorite Player: Mark Price
Least Favorite Player: LePunk Jims

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby justmebd » Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:52 pm

leadpipe wrote:
Nicastro13 wrote:
justmebd wrote:
Nicastro13 wrote:The Steelers have looked downright awful in their first two preseasons in case anyone hasn't watched, their O-Line is an absolute mess. And I love it. Over/under on Rapists Games played has to be 8...

My best friend (A Steelers fan, this is a running theme in my life) and I were tag-teaming two 18 year olds (Scotch, that is. ZING!!!) while watching that game on Monday.

His comment at the beginning of the 2nd quarter: "God, this team SUCKS!!!"

I just smiled and kept drinking.

Side Note: 18 year old scotches were Chivas 18 and the new Johnnie Walker Platinum. The Platinum is EXCELLENT, and it should be available in Ohio before the end of the year (This bottle courtesy of Duty Free).



Had a similar conversation with a good friend of mine from College, who actually knows the game and his argument isn't "but we got six!" like most of the idiots, and he said the same. If you look at that team and dont see 8-8 as a ceiling your arent watching the same team.


Especially when you consider Tomlin and his pre-season past. He is a guy that LIKES to win and set a tone in the pre-season. They are in touble.

My friend is one of about only TWO Steelers fans I know who you can actually have a conversation with. Living in Youngstown, almost all the fair weather fans here converted to being Yinzers over the last 15 years. It'll be interesting to see what the next decade brings if our fortunes change.

Fun Fact: Eight out of ten Steelers fans can not name the Steelers QB prior to Rapistburger. Seriously (I asked 10 Steeler fans). Six out of the eight not only couldn't remember who Tommy Maddox was, their response was, "Fuck You, SIX RINGS!!"

I usually followed that up with, "Who was the QB the Steelers traded to Dallas DURING Super Bowl XXX?"

I love asking them that one.
User avatar
justmebd
 
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:27 pm
Location: Youngstown, OH
Favorite Player: Gary Gygax
Least Favorite Player: Heinz Field Occupant

Re: Tales Of Horror From Steelers Training Camp

Unread postby OldDawg » Thu Aug 22, 2013 2:00 pm

justmebd wrote:My friend is one of about only TWO Steelers fans I know who you can actually have a conversation with.

Here's hoping that the other ONE is your wife...
Er, let me think about that one for a second.... hmmmm....
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." -- Winston Churchill
User avatar
OldDawg
 
Posts: 3882
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:05 pm
Favorite Player: Mark Price
Least Favorite Player: LePunk Jims


Return to Cleveland Browns & The NFL

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron

Who is online

In total there are 2 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 2 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 181 on Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:50 pm

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests