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The Lars Column...

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The Lars Column...

Unread postby peeker643 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 9:59 am

Made me laugh like a flippin' mental patient from the first sentence on...

http://www.theclevelandfan.com/clevelan ... all-wisdom
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Aug 08, 2013 10:17 am

It's really good.

Longest nut shot story ever. But it was worth it, the payoff is spectacular. Half hearted punches always end up bad.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby Adverb Harry » Thu Aug 08, 2013 10:48 am

That was great. Beautifully reconstructed for us.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby jerryroche » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:06 pm

I'd lead the cheer for "More Lars!"--but not if it means he has to get slugged in the family jewels again. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Well...maybe A-Rod...or TWoA...or Pittspuke Ben...
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby gotribe31 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:10 pm

The hilarity of the nut-shot story masks the genius of the baseball part of that article.
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Let me tell you, if any of you douchebag empty headed stuffed suit nanny politicians tries to fuck with my bacon, I’m going after you like a crazed chimpanzee on bath salts.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby peeker643 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:16 pm

jerryroche wrote:I'd lead the cheer for "More Lars!"--but not if it means he has to get slugged in the family jewels again. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Well...maybe A-Rod...or TWoA...or Pittspuke Ben...


I have no issues with Lars getting punched in the balls for the sake of a story.

Not one.

Just wish he'd mix a midget or a monkey into his stories.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:35 pm

Every time Lars gets punched in the nuts an angle gets its wings.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby peeker643 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:42 pm

e0y2e3 wrote:Every time Lars gets punched in the nuts an angle gets its wings.



^^^^^^

Meant "angel"

An angle with wings would be a different angle. If the wings were linear, of course.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby FUDU » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:48 pm

Lars needs to play strat.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:50 pm

I don't care for right angles. Too conservative. Gotta spread the degrees around.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby FUDU » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:52 pm

If it's not a right angle it's a wrong angle.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby pod2dawg » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:52 pm

Obtuse.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:57 pm

What a surprise, FUDU is an anglist too. Sounds like angle Hitler.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby motherscratcher » Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:03 pm

I'm still waiting for PUP to weigh in on the part about closers.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:21 pm

peeker643 wrote:
e0y2e3 wrote:Every time Lars gets punched in the nuts an angle gets its wings.



^^^^^^

Meant "angel"

An angle with wings would be a different angle. If the wings were linear, of course.
/\O/\
.. |
.. /\


Now isn't that angel the cutest thing you've ever done....

And I did mean angel, however, anyone that knows Lars also knows he could very possibly has some sort of a perverse relationship with winged angles.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby LarsHancock » Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:13 pm

I have to give credit to JayAre for the lineup analysis bit and link. I don't even know if he's over here, but a good bit of that was borrowed from his wisdom.

I had to write this because the full ass meltdown on my twitter timeline over Perez and lineup configurations is just so infuriatingly ignorant and misplaced that it drives me nuts. Seriously, a tired Perez had no chance against that part of the Detroit lineup, and complaining Cabrera is hitting fourth is just ignorant in that it has almost no bearing on the outcome of the game. If you want to argue he shouldn't be batting at all and that Aviles should be full time at shortstop, well, that would be terrible, but at least you could argue something that would have a result.

I would love to see a manager have the balls to employ a no-closer and a mathematical lineup strategy. I'd love to see OUR manager do that. And I'd love never to get punched in the balls again, figuratively or literally.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby leadpipe » Thu Aug 08, 2013 6:54 pm

[quote="LarsHancock"]I have to give credit to JayAre for the lineup analysis bit and link. I don't even know if he's over here, but a good bit of that was borrowed from his wisdom.

I had to write this because the full ass meltdown on my twitter timeline over Perez and lineup configurations is just so infuriatingly ignorant and misplaced that it drives me nuts. Seriously, a tired Perez had no chance against that part of the Detroit lineup, and complaining Cabrera is hitting fourth is just ignorant in that it has almost no bearing on the outcome of the game. If you want to argue he shouldn't be batting at all and that Aviles should be full time at shortstop, well, that would be terrible, but at least you could argue something that would have a result.

I would love to see a manager have the balls to employ a no-closer and a mathematical lineup strategy. I'd love to see OUR manager do that. And I'd love never to get punched in the balls again, figuratively or literally.[/quot

This is a big part why managers don't count.

It took anyone who ever watched a week worth of baseball to figure out after about 7 or 8 pitches Perez was going to be in "get me over fastball mode" real quick.

And if we were all watching that inning with our hand covering our eyes, you can be damn sure Francona was to.

But apparently you can't beak "the formula."

Which is so ingrained, by the way, that I don't blame Francona - cause 29 other puppets woulda done exactly the same thing.

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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby Prosecutor » Fri Aug 09, 2013 8:32 am

Ideally you have a LOOGY and a ROOGY for those 6th and 7th innings when the starter loses it and puts runners on. Think Raffie Perez at his peak and Joe Smith the last couple of years (not this year, though). You bring those guys in to pitch to one or two batters to get out of the inning, then use your closer in the 9th.

If you don't have a decent LOOGY or ROOGY, however, then I agree that you use your best relief pitcher to get out of the jam, even if he is the closer.

It's a shame Kluber got hurt. Salazar would have been a great addition to the bullpen down the stretch. They could bring him in to get a K with runners on or use him as the 8th inning guy like Bobby Howry a few years back.
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby pup » Fri Aug 09, 2013 9:20 am

motherscratcher wrote:I'm still waiting for PUP to weigh in on the part about closers.


Too busy shaking my head over the lineup portion.

But, to take the closer thing a step further...why not just rate your staff 1-12. Game 1 you go with your best pitcher. When he needs replaced, why go with your 8th best pitcher. Just go to #2 on the list. Why do we continually put our faith in pitchers that are not as good.

Start Masterson. He gives you 6. Why not have Kluber finish that day off?
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Re: The Lars Column...

Unread postby 7foot3 » Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:32 pm

pup wrote:
motherscratcher wrote:I'm still waiting for PUP to weigh in on the part about closers.


Too busy shaking my head over the lineup portion.

But, to take the closer thing a step further...why not just rate your staff 1-12. Game 1 you go with your best pitcher. When he needs replaced, why go with your 8th best pitcher. Just go to #2 on the list. Why do we continually put our faith in pitchers that are not as good.

Start Masterson. He gives you 6. Why not have Kluber finish that day off?



Is this some kind of trick question?

Because there are quite a few pitchers who can get 1-3 outs at a time effectively. Your 6th, 7th, and 8th best pitchers can combine to prevent runs as well as Kluber could by himself for those three innings. And now you have Kluber available to pitch 6 innings tomorrow, something that your 6th-8th best pitchers couldn't combine to do nearly as well.
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