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Chris Perez Does Drugs!

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Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:01 am

And Goes to Jail!

Cleveland rejoices at the fat bastard getting arrested!
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby peeker643 » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:20 am

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE June 5, 2013

INDIANS STATEMENT REGARDING
CHRIS PEREZ

CLEVELAND, OH—The Cleveland Indians today issued a statement regarding RHP CHRIS PEREZ:

“Earlier this morning we were made aware of a situation involving RHP Chris Perez that occurred yesterday in Rocky River,” said Cleveland Indians GM Chris Antonetti. “We have talked with Chris and are currently in the process of gathering additional information. We will not have any additional comment at this time.”

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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby peeker643 » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:24 am

Joe Lull ‏@LullOnSports 1m
Rocky River police, "multi-jurisdictional web-narcotics unit" and US Post Office working together. Yet another reason to ship via FedEx.



Scott Taylor ‏@ScottTaylor19 5m
Rocky River Police telling me that Cleveland Indians Chris Perez has not been arrested or charged.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Spin » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:34 am

Well Alex Abreau will have company now.

Hope Vinny is comfortable in the closer role...
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby 1Perry » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:43 am

This would certainly help explain a few things if true.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby WiscTribeFan » Wed Jun 05, 2013 12:03 pm

e0y2e3 wrote:And Goes to Jail!

Cleveland rejoices at the fat bastard getting arrested!


You realize that there was really nothing factually correct about anything you put in this post, including the subject, right? Well, save Perez being fat.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby peeker643 » Wed Jun 05, 2013 12:16 pm

Close your eyes and you can almost see dude sitting in shorts on the couch with the huge bong next to a couch and table that's littered with empty pizza boxes, gyro foils, half-eaten donuts and Coca-Cola 2-liter bottles.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby skatingtripods » Wed Jun 05, 2013 12:55 pm

Awesome. A much needed distraction to take attention away from how badly the team is playing.

But in all honesty, let's let the story play out before we rush to judge.

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Previous inhabitants of Perez's residence investigated "on numerous occasions for quite a volley of incidents," according to police chief.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby peeker643 » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:02 pm

skatingtripods wrote:Awesome. A much needed distraction to take attention away from how badly the team is playing.

But in all honesty, let's let the story play out before we rush to judge.

Zack Meisel ‏@ZackMeisel 41m
Previous inhabitants of Perez's residence investigated "on numerous occasions for quite a volley of incidents," according to police chief.


So they were getting regularly scheduled drop shipments when they forgot to leave a forwarding address?

Hey.... I'd run with that too if the bulk medicinal angle ain't likely to fly ;-) ;) :wink:
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby skatingtripods » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:07 pm

No idea. Won't pretend to know the situation.

But you would think that a guy who went to The U would know how to get marijuana in a less obvious manner.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby peeker643 » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:23 pm

skatingtripods wrote:No idea. Won't pretend to know the situation.

But you would think that a guy who went to The U would know how to get marijuana in a less obvious manner.



Actually, I'd think a guy who went to The U would be so arrogant that he'd think he could get away with something like this ;-) ;) :wink:
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby skatingtripods » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:34 pm

peeker643 wrote:
skatingtripods wrote:No idea. Won't pretend to know the situation.

But you would think that a guy who went to The U would know how to get marijuana in a less obvious manner.



Actually, I'd think a guy who went to The U would be so arrogant that he'd think he could get away with something like this ;-) ;) :wink:


Fair enough. ;-) ;) :wink:
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Dnthateonthepronk » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:41 pm

skatingtripods wrote:
peeker643 wrote:
skatingtripods wrote:No idea. Won't pretend to know the situation.

But you would think that a guy who went to The U would know how to get marijuana in a less obvious manner.



Actually, I'd think a guy who went to The U would be so arrogant that he'd think he could get away with something like this ;-) ;) :wink:


Fair enough. ;-) ;) :wink:


I wonder if he attended Ray Lewis's " How to cover up a murder " class when he was there
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby WiscTribeFan » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:43 pm

This has got setup all over it. Bet it was Cody Allen.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby OldDawg » Wed Jun 05, 2013 2:03 pm

Clearly it's not PEDs. If they accuse him of that, we have plenty of game footage we can show that clearly show his performance was not enhanced.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Dnthateonthepronk » Wed Jun 05, 2013 3:14 pm

WiscTribeFan wrote:This has got setup all over it. Bet it was Cody Allen.



Cant wait to for Yan Gomes to get set up ;-) ;) :wink:
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby swerb » Wed Jun 05, 2013 4:12 pm

If Perez is actually stupid enough to have a pound of weed sent to his house ... WOW.

A pound is A LOT OF weed. Considering he makes 7.3 mill a year, I can't imagine he'd be intending to sell it.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Dnthateonthepronk » Wed Jun 05, 2013 4:37 pm

swerb wrote:If Perez is actually stupid enough




You shoulda just stopped right there
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby WiscTribeFan » Wed Jun 05, 2013 4:37 pm

swerb wrote:If Perez is actually stupid enough to have a pound of weed sent to his house ... WOW.

A pound is A LOT OF weed. Considering he makes 7.3 mill a year, I can't imagine he'd be intending to sell it.


Maybe he got a discount.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jfiling » Wed Jun 05, 2013 5:59 pm

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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby bookelly » Wed Jun 05, 2013 9:14 pm

As former resident of said suburb involved I can state with certainty that those are some of the most bored cops on the planet Earth. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if they staked out Casa Perez just because it was something to do.

Weed isn't a PED is it? Besides possession, would he be in any real trouble?
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Dnthateonthepronk » Wed Jun 05, 2013 9:23 pm

bookelly wrote:As former resident of said suburb involved I can state with certainty that those are some of the most bored cops on the planet Earth. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if they staked out Casa Perez just because it was something to do.

Weed isn't a PED is it? Besides possession, would he be in any real trouble?


I think he would be depending on the weight. Doesn't intent to distribute or possible felony charges hinge on amount of said drug
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby bookelly » Wed Jun 05, 2013 9:29 pm

Dnthateonthepronk wrote:
bookelly wrote:As former resident of said suburb involved I can state with certainty that those are some of the most bored cops on the planet Earth. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if they staked out Casa Perez just because it was something to do.

Weed isn't a PED is it? Besides possession, would he be in any real trouble?


I think he would be depending on the weight. Doesn't intent to distribute or possible felony charges hinge on amount of said drug


A Felony? WOW. For weed? Drug war is stupid as hell.

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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby YahooFanChicago » Wed Jun 05, 2013 10:24 pm

What weed? It's not his, must be for someone else. He say's he has no idea where it came from and he's been receiving lot's of junk mail and stuff lately so it really could be for anyone.

Just last week he received the TV guide in the mail even though it was for the old lady next door. He doesn't even watch TV. Could be something like that again.

It really is a head scratcher.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby YahooFanChicago » Wed Jun 05, 2013 10:33 pm

peeker643 wrote:Close your eyes and you can almost see dude sitting in shorts on the couch with the huge bong next to a couch and table that's littered with empty pizza boxes, gyro foils, half-eaten donuts and Coca-Cola 2-liter bottles.



..your words, just like a Norman Rockwell painting. Seeing it clear as day through the foggy smoke filled room.

You think it's a legit bong or did he just mock-up one of the 2 liter coke bottles and add water?
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:57 am

Looks like the Kottonmouth Kings finallyhave the answer to their musical question.

In CP's mail box.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:58 am

peeker643 wrote:Close your eyes and you can almost see dude sitting in shorts on the couch with the huge bong next to a couch and table that's littered with empty pizza boxes, gyro foils, half-eaten donuts and Coca-Cola 2-liter bottles.



You forgot that he's contemplating how his rug really pulls the room together.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby motherscratcher » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:06 am

jb wrote:Looks like the Kottonmouth Kings finallyhave the answer to their musical question.

In CP's mail box.


Fuck you, I'm not googling that.


Edit: goddamnit
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:44 am

Kottonmouth Kings.....lol. I saw them live once by accident. They had a guy that looked like a mummy and he humped fake pot plants.

If Chris Perez smoked pot, i'd totally hate him less.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby motherscratcher » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:52 am

Cerebral_DownTime wrote:Kottonmouth Kings.....lol. I saw them live once by accident. They had a guy that looked like a mummy and he humped fake pot plants.

If Chris Perez smoked pot, i'd totally hate him less.


What do you mean "if"? Of course he smokes pot. Look at that guy.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:54 am

What a stereotype believing fuckstick.

You rotten bastard.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby motherscratcher » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:55 am

Cerebral_DownTime wrote:What a stereotype believing fuckstick.

You rotten bastard.


You think there's a chance I'm wrong?
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:56 am

No.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby rebelwithoutaclue » Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:17 am

peeker643 wrote:
Joe Lull ‏@LullOnSports 1m
Rocky River police, "multi-jurisdictional web-narcotics unit" and US Post Office working together. Yet another reason to ship via FedEx.




Except that any USPS package requires a search warrant and FedEx/UPS don't. The dumbass is whoever shipped the weed and didn't vacuum-seal it; without a noticeable smell, a piece of mail almost has to have DRUGS written on the package to get searched.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:18 am

Is that how Cypress Hill got an ounce in the mail?
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Nicastro13 » Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:55 am

rebelwithoutaclue wrote:
peeker643 wrote:
Joe Lull ‏@LullOnSports 1m
Rocky River police, "multi-jurisdictional web-narcotics unit" and US Post Office working together. Yet another reason to ship via FedEx.




Except that any USPS package requires a search warrant and FedEx/UPS don't. The dumbass is whoever shipped the weed and didn't vacuum-seal it; without a noticeable smell, a piece of mail almost has to have DRUGS written on the package to get searched.



Double vaccum-seal and put it in bag of coffee, pretty simple 101 stuff. And for a guy from the U shouldn't weed be his secondary choice, I mean help him come down???
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby bookelly » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:50 pm

This looks like more of a case of the media convicting somebody before all the facts are in. And If I'm Perez's lawyer, I got miles of reasonable doubt considering the past drug history of the guy who lived in the rental house just 6 weeks prior.

Nothing to see here...
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:10 pm

bookelly wrote:This looks like more of a case of the media convicting somebody before all the facts are in. And If I'm Perez's lawyer, I got miles of reasonable doubt considering the past drug history of the guy who lived in the rental house just 6 weeks prior.

Nothing to see here...



So he's gotta lawyer up at a huge retainer and $500/hour so he can say "Wa'n't me".

is this a great country, or what?
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:11 pm

motherscratcher wrote:
jb wrote:Looks like the Kottonmouth Kings finallyhave the answer to their musical question.

In CP's mail box.


Fuck you, I'm not googling that.


Edit: goddamnit



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WsI15fxORg


^^^^

Actual scene's from CP's apartment. Allegedly.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby bookelly » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:19 pm

jb wrote:
bookelly wrote:This looks like more of a case of the media convicting somebody before all the facts are in. And If I'm Perez's lawyer, I got miles of reasonable doubt considering the past drug history of the guy who lived in the rental house just 6 weeks prior.

Nothing to see here...



So he's gotta lawyer up at a huge retainer and $500/hour so he can say "Wa'n't me".

is this a great country, or what?


With a case full of this many holes I think the Public Defender could do an fine job. ;-) ;) :wink:

And notice how he hasn't been arrested or charged yet? Even the cops know they've got nothing. Hell, I bet it'll come out that either Chris or his wife called the cops as soon as they found out what was in the package.

And even the dumbass who shipped the stuff without covering the smell wouldn't have put anyone's actual name on the package.

/Plausible Deniability. QED.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby bucknutz94 » Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:14 am

YahooFanChicago wrote:
peeker643 wrote:Close your eyes and you can almost see dude sitting in shorts on the couch with the huge bong next to a couch and table that's littered with empty pizza boxes, gyro foils, half-eaten donuts and Coca-Cola 2-liter bottles.



..your words, just like a Norman Rockwell painting. Seeing it clear as day through the foggy smoke filled room.

You think it's a legit bong or did he just mock-up one of the 2 liter coke bottles and add water?


Title of said Rockwell painting would be: "College in America".
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:07 am

"Possession of a controlled substance."

Image
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:15 am

Cerebral_DownTime wrote:"Possession of a controlled substance."

Image



Yep, you can just tell by how he looks that he smokes. It's obvious.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:16 am

bookelly wrote:This looks like more of a case of the media convicting somebody before all the facts are in. And If I'm Perez's lawyer, I got miles of reasonable doubt considering the past drug history of the guy who lived in the rental house just 6 weeks prior.

Nothing to see here...



Report I read said it was seized INSIDE the house. Not from the mail outside.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:26 am

It's a good thing they got this deviant off the streets before he went on a rape spree at the local convent.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby jb » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:35 am

Cerebral_DownTime wrote:It's a good thing they got this deviant off the streets before he went on another gopher ball spree at the PIG.



Fixed.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby skatingtripods » Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:38 am

Whatever. Can't blame him for wanting to relax. Hell, might be the only way he can relax being as high strung as he is.

Only stupid thing in my book is that he had it shipped to his house instead of getting it from one of the approximately 3,250,038,523,692,839 drug dealers in Ohio.

Wouldn't marijuana have popped on a random MLB drug test if this was a recurring thing?
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Adverb Harry » Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:24 pm

Wife's kinda hot. Just saying.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby Spin » Fri Jun 07, 2013 1:01 pm

Adverb Harry wrote:Wife's kinda hot. Just saying.


I'd hit it.
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Re: Chris Perez Does Drugs!

Unread postby peeker643 » Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:20 pm

Yawn... This whole thing amuses me. But it doesn't offend or bother me, right or wrong. I do wish he was a bit brighter but I'd be fine with 94mph that moves and a slider that bites like a wolverine.


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE June 7, 2013

INDIANS STATEMENT REGARDING
CHRIS PEREZ

CLEVELAND, OH—The Cleveland Indians today issued a statement regarding the news of RHP CHRIS PEREZ and his wife Melanie being processed yesterday with misdemeanor charges:

“"Clearly we take these matters seriously and are disappointed whenever there is any negative attention brought to the Indians organization or one of our players,” said Cleveland Indians GM CHRIS ANTONETTI. “We understand and respect that there is an ongoing legal process that we will allow to evolve.”

---tribe---
"Great minds think alike. The opposite is also true."

"None of us is as dumb as all of us."


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