Out of Bounds: New TCF Column

[FUDU]

Does that mean we call you Yeti?

[pod2dawg]

Lars, Last week almost pushed me over the edge in finding the 3,756th way to lose a Brown's game. Passing out white flags? Although appropriate as moscratch said, an absolute embarrassment as 12,000 steeler fans invade our stadium to drink our beer and pillage our town. I really am struggling right now.......can I actually endure getting beat at home by Charlie Batch?.....Charlie Batch for Christ's sake. He makes Weeden look......young.

I need a survival strategy to avoid total meltdown if we lose to these flamers again.-pod2

[googleeph2]

Lars,

Soon, I would like to plan a particular day when my wife and I can enjoy the maximum amount of endorphins possible.

This will involve a 4 mile run, and some afternoon private time with each other.
I plan to get some of that Xochitl salsa CDT suggested...

What else would you suggest I plan for that day? How many different ways can we legally generate endorphins?

Thanks.

[motherscratcher]

Hey Lars, on Wednesday, I want to make my wife chicken piccata and whatever the hell else you make with chicken piccata. I can't cook but I can follow instructions.

Can you help me out?

[motherscratcher]

Dearest Lars,

What are the best five Sandwiches, and if PBJ isn't among them, where would it rank?

[googleeph2]

Mayo/horseradish on the meat side and mustard on the cheese side- agree?

[FUDU]

Dearest Lars,

What are the best five Sandwiches, and if PBJ isn't among them, where would it rank?

I know one thing, PBJ is below BLT on that list.

[googleeph2]

INterested where the German classic limberger & thick slab of onion on rye ends up.

Great topic. Suggestions as to an accompanying beverage would be welcomed, too.

[Hikohadon]

Lars,

Soon, I would like to plan a particular day when my wife and I can enjoy the maximum amount of endorphins possible.

This will involve a 4 mile run, and some afternoon private time with each other.
I plan to get some of that Xochitl salsa CDT suggested...

What else would you suggest I plan for that day? How many different ways can we legally generate endorphins?

Thanks.

That was me. CDT don't know shit about salsa. Or pizza, apparently.

[googleeph2]

Lars,

Soon, I would like to plan a particular day when my wife and I can enjoy the maximum amount of endorphins possible.

This will involve a 4 mile run, and some afternoon private time with each other.
I plan to get some of that Xochitl salsa CDT suggested...

What else would you suggest I plan for that day? How many different ways can we legally generate endorphins?

Thanks.

That was me. CDT don't know shit about salsa. Or pizza, apparently.

Oops, very sorry. I did appreciate the tip, and you are my fav writer (it's not butt kissing now that you have stepped back).

Do endorphins aid memory?

[fairvis]

Lars, I'm returning to Cleveland in a few weeks for Christmas after spending 6 months overseas. Where would you eat your first "Cleveland" meal after subsisting on British food for nearly half a year?

[Hikohadon]

Do endorphins aid memory?

I can't see how they do. I've released more endorphins than most human beings, and my memory is terrible.

[RickNashEquilibrium]

Lars,

Soon, I would like to plan a particular day when my wife and I can enjoy the maximum amount of endorphins possible.

This will involve a 4 mile run, and some afternoon private time with each other.
I plan to get some of that Xochitl salsa CDT suggested...

What else would you suggest I plan for that day? How many different ways can we legally generate endorphins?

Thanks.

Jump out of perfectly good airplanes, you will not be disappointed I guarantee.

[FUDU]

No BLT on the top 5 sandwich list, this column has become so over rated.

[googleeph2]

No BLT on the top 5 sandwich list, this column has become so over rated.

I am sure it is #8, after Limburger/onion/brown mustard on rye, and braunschweiger and mayo on wheat.

[LarsHancock]

No BLT on the top 5 sandwich list, this column has become so over rated.

A BLT is essentially a bacon sandwich with garnish. Lettuce and tomato are pretty useless in the whole equation of sandwich goodness.

A panini can have bacon and melted cheese without extraneous garnish. A burger can have bacon and no rabbit food. Cheesesteak with bacon? Hell yeah. Meatball and bacon? Why not? PB&J & bacon. I'm in.

How is a plain bacon sandwich superior to any of those?

[FUDU]

No BLT on the top 5 sandwich list, this column has become so over rated.

A BLT is essentially a bacon sandwich with garnish. Lettuce and tomato are pretty useless in the whole equation of sandwich goodness.

A panini can have bacon and melted cheese without extraneous garnish. A burger can have bacon and no rabbit food. Cheesesteak with bacon? Hell yeah. Meatball and bacon? Why not? PB&J & bacon. I'm in.

How is a plain bacon sandwich superior to any of those?

Look Lars, I concede all things cooking to you, you can & I pretty much can't. But I do have taste buds and you've never had one of my BLTs. The tomato and lettuce are actually important in their function of the BLT. Now a BLT won't necessarily satisfy your hunger, as most of us can probably devout a whole loaf of bread worth of these sandwiches but compared to a PBnJ BLTs are an explosion of flavor and all that is good in the world right in your mouth.

Now you have me curious, where would you rank a fried bologna sandwich?

[motherscratcher]

That's a good question on the fried bologna, FUDU.

As far as a BLT goes, I think Lars post makes a lot of sense. Each one of those sandwiches is likely better than a BLT in an academic sense. The bacon is kind of like the candy on top. But a straight bacon sandwich (I prefer tomato hold the lettuce actually) can be a great thing as well.

It's the same reason They make a version of Lucky Charms with ONLY the marshmellows. It's not that you'd want that for breakfast every mourning. But it is a fun option to have occasionally.

Not that it should be anywhere near the top 5.

[FUDU]

You're coming at me with Lucky Charms?

You're gonna make me go out and get drunk tonight.

[motherscratcher]

That was a round about way of offering halfhearted support for your position.

Either that or a backhanded compliment.

Not sure which.

[FUDU]

You like pulling teeth without offering pain relief don't you?

[LarsHancock]

The Crunch Berries cereal that is all berries is the most fantastic thing ever. If I'm ever executed, a whole box of that is going to be my last meal request. I mean, why not? Not like the disastrous sugar bomb and complete lack of nutrition is going to be any worse than the gas chamber the next day.

[FUDU]

I'm a Honey Nut Cheerios kind of guy myself.

[LarsHancock]

I'm a Honey Nut Cheerios kind of guy myself.

[FUDU]

...I forgot to say with bacon didn't I?

[FUDU]

Lars,

If you won a $10,000 shopping spree to any retail store of your desire, what store would you choose, what would you buy?

[fairvis]

On the sandwich front, I'm still a bit amazed this didn't appear:



There is nothing like a corned beef sandwich on rye with a bit of brown mustard. Reubens are good as well, but lack the purity of a good old fashioned CB. Especially from Slyman's.

[LarsHancock]

On the sandwich front, I'm still a bit amazed this didn't appear:



There is nothing like a corned beef sandwich on rye with a bit of brown mustard. Reubens are good as well, but lack the purity of a good old fashioned CB. Especially from Slyman's.

That is a pretty shameful omission on my part. I guess I can't get a good one down here in Tejas, so it slipped the radar.

[RickNashEquilibrium]

Any person that doesnt list a Monte Cristo, espeically one from Yours Truly with Tango Sauce, can eat a back of dicks. Fried French Toast + Canadian Bacon + Turkey + swiss + berry preserves = plate full of win. A bag of dicks I say for anyone who doesn't see the glory in this.

[mattvan1]

That is a pretty shameful omission on my part. I guess I can't get a good one down here in Tejas, so it slipped the radar.

Which city?

Houston has a couple of places that are not too bad. Not Slyman's but OK.

[LarsHancock]

That is a pretty shameful omission on my part. I guess I can't get a good one down here in Tejas, so it slipped the radar.

Which city?

Houston has a couple of places that are not too bad. Not Slyman's but OK.

Austin. Good food town, but haven't found a deli worth a shit anywhere.

[justmebd]

That is a pretty shameful omission on my part. I guess I can't get a good one down here in Tejas, so it slipped the radar.

Which city?

Houston has a couple of places that are not too bad. Not Slyman's but OK.

Austin. Good food town, but haven't found a deli worth a shit anywhere.

Phoenix was exactly the same. Tons of good restaurants, but if you wanted a good sandwhich, you were pretty much out of luck. It was Subway, Quiznos, and some local chain that was Quiznos Junior.

I'm sure there were some good deli's hidden around that town somewhere, but I never found anybody who knew where they were.

[pod2dawg]

Lars, I am deeply concerned I may not be able to handle a loss to a team with Peyton Hillis, Brady Quinn, and Romeo Crennell on the same sideline. I have dissected and analyzed this game 750 different ways..and the Browns keep coming up the winner. I have been thru alot. This could break me. Please console me . Tell me what I want to hear. Also, please tell me how to cope if the unimaginable occurs.

Thank you! Pod & Uncle

[pod2dawg]

Lars,

In what recipes would you recommend truffle oil?

pod's uncle

[googleeph2]

Lars,

Are there some standard cookbooks every home should have?

[RickNashEquilibrium]

Lars,

Are there some standard cookbooks every home should have?

No apologies on my part for the hijack so here's a start.

"Ratio" by Cleveland's own Michael Ruhlman

"The Talisman Italian Cookbook" by Ada Boni

"Sauces" by James Patterson - essential for really learning how to do any good stock

"The Way to Cook" or "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" by Julia Child

"Essential Cuisines of Mexico" by Diana Kennedy, my bible for Mexican cooking. That and Rick Bayless's "Authentic Mexican".

The original "Better Crocker's Picture Cookbook". - Don't knock it. Its a throwback and has tons of pointers and minces no words when it comes to making unhealthy food when the ingredients call for it. Still has the best homemade doughnut recipe ever.

[LarsHancock]

No apologies on my part for the hijack so here's a start.

No apologies needed. This whole thing is more fun as a conversation. I don't pretend to have all the expertise on everything. Well, I do pretend that, but it isn't really true.

My favorite part of the process is coming here on Friday and seeing how I screwed up the answer to FUDU's question. He's like my wife - no matter what my answer is, no matter how sound my logic, it's always wrong.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Lars, how do I properly slice bread?

Lars, Demystify cheese.

Lars, the banana, one fruit so many uses.

Lars, how many Spanish Gypsy trained monkeys would it take to pull off a heist like in Die Hard 3?

Lars, why do we have creamed corn in our cabinet? We never eat creamed corn, does it come with the house? Or was it ghosts?

[FUDU]

My favorite part of the column is coming here on Friday and seeing how Lars swung & missed at the question. He's like my boss - no matter what, no matter the topic, he's always wrong.

[FUDU]

I’m taking home about 100 bottles of wine in my spree. Heck, I could even do this spree in 15 minutes if needed. I’m dreaming of this right now – this was an offer, not a question, right?

Sorry not an offer but interesting choice none the less. Personally I'd be to tempted to hit up a Best Buy, Home Depot or BB&B. A high end audio dealer would be nice to, and no not Summit Racing CDT.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Lars, why do some movie theaters still sell those giant pickles? Do you consider a giant pickle appropriate movie theater eating?

[pup]

Lars, why do some movie theaters still sell those giant pickles? Do you consider a giant pickle appropriate movie theater eating?

Not sure about Lars, but I hear moscratcher considers eating giant pickles appropriate whenever someone offers one to him.

[motherscratcher]

Lars, why do some movie theaters still sell those giant pickles? Do you consider a giant pickle appropriate movie theater eating?

Not sure about Lars, but I hear moscratcher considers eating giant pickles appropriate whenever someone offers one to him.

I got a giant pickle from Jimmie Johns a few weeks ago and it was fabulous.

[gotribe31]

Lars, I'm returning to Cleveland in a few weeks for Christmas after spending 6 months overseas. Where would you eat your first "Cleveland" meal after subsisting on British food for nearly half a year?

I'm actually going to be in Manchester Monday night.

Speaking of which, Lars, what should one eat when in her Magesty's United Kingdom? Besides beer that it, I've got that covered.

[googleeph2]

Lars, why do some movie theaters still sell those giant pickles? Do you consider a giant pickle appropriate movie theater eating?

I was at a hs football game, where you can typically get popcorn, hot dogs, pizza, nachos, and candy. At this particular game, they had a huge jar of giant pickles. I asked the lady about them, and she said they were really popular. Go figure.

What those snack stands often lack is coffee. Every single color of Gatorade though. Pet peeve.

PS I do understand you are messing with people who are asking questions.

[FUDU]

Lars, why do some movie theaters still sell those giant pickles? Do you consider a giant pickle appropriate movie theater eating?

I was at a hs football game, where you can typically get popcorn, hot dogs, pizza, nachos, and candy. At this particular game, they had a huge jar of giant pickles. I asked the lady about them, and she said they were really popular. Go figure.

What those snack stands often lack is coffee. Pet peeve.

They lack a good selection of burritos too.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Lars, why do some movie theaters still sell those giant pickles? Do you consider a giant pickle appropriate movie theater eating?

I was at a hs football game, where you can typically get popcorn, hot dogs, pizza, nachos, and candy. At this particular game, they had a huge jar of giant pickles. I asked the lady about them, and she said they were really popular. Go figure.

What those snack stands often lack is coffee. Every single color of Gatorade though. Pet peeve.

PS I do understand you are messing with people who are asking questions.

I would laugh if my pickle question makes Out of Bounds next week. Or if Lars could explain the origin of the cream corn in my cabinet..... I bet the Illuminati is involved.

[pod2dawg]

Lars, Let's say I have been involved in baseball for 49 years in some capacity......playing ( collegiately ACC at a school in the sun), coaching, scouting, blah, blah, blah,). What the f#$$%%ck am I missing ? Can it be that hard to find a 1st baseman and Left Fielder?...Seriously. Seriously. No seriously.

Thanks!-pod's uncle

[pod2dawg]

Lars ,

Does anyone drink instant coffee by choice?

Thanks!-pod

[pod2dawg]

Lars,

By the mercy of God does anyone in the entire world ever consume Pepsi-X...for any reason....under any circumstances? Horrid.

thanks!-pod