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No Holds Barred

Feel free not to read this...

Need to get something off your chest? Have a topic that doesn't fit one of the other forums? Rant away in here. Mature audiences only, not for the easily offended.

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Feel free not to read this...

Unread postby Captain Insano » Sat Jan 28, 2006 5:50 am

I wasn't sure if the Rumble Room or No Holds Barred was more appropriate for this story, but here it is...

Let me start by saying, I'm sure glad I'm friend's with Ed Fitzgerald...

Setting: Virant's 31st B-Day party Willoughby Brewing Co. (Jan. 27th, 2006)
Time: 2:29am ( Now at 1899...long after Virant has left.)
Incident: Huge Brawl ( for no apparent reason)

Ok, here it is, long story short:

I'm at the bar '1899' with Ed Fitz and his Russian buddy ( We'll call him Yakov)... and these two dude's get into an argument ( I fucked your chick, blah, blah, blah, she's almost as good as your mom, blah, blah...that kind of shit. )
For some odd fuckin' reason, I befriend the one dude in the fight.
I guess, it would have made more sense if I knew the dude, his chick... or even his Mom , but I didn't... ( I might have been looking for a fight myself , I'm not sure?)...whatever the case may be, doesn't matter. Anyway, the instigator leaves, nothing happens, everthing is cool. Right?

No...Last call is over and it's time to leave. I still feel like I should have that one dude's back. Why? Good question. Just because...that's all I got for that one.
Ed, Yakov and I go outside and there looks to be an all to familiar problem...Mr. I wanna start a fight, but not finish it , is back...

I know, I know, get to the good stuff.

Here we go...Mr. Wiggerboy gets in my buddy's face again ( my buddy I knew for four minutes that is) and now we have a problem. Don't get in my boys face like that.

Ok, here is where I turn into a complete idiot ( I'm 29 years old.. mind you ) there is no reason for this.
Shit, It's Virant's birthday, he's not here, but it's his damn birthday and everyone should be a little more mature by now ( you would hope ), but alcohol can make a sane man crazy ( I'm not saying I'm sane in the first place, I'm just saying...)

So, here is what I decide to do...
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Unread postby Captain Insano » Sat Jan 28, 2006 6:36 am


I punch the dude right in the face, and honestly... ( and I know I shouldn't be proud of this )... but it was one hell of a punch!
Blood spewed...and a bone cracked! Although, it might have been my hand, it's really sore.

So... now realizing that I didn't think that all the way through, I was on my back... being attacked by quite a few a this dude's close friend's...and possibly realitives ( I'm guessing 5 guys...and they were really pissed off, by the way) I can't imagine why, but as I laid on my back covering up and trying my best to fight back, a certain calm came over me and I thought... have no fear............

... Ed Fitz is here!

Fitzgerald comes to my rescue like a man possessed and tee's off on heads like he's Mike Tyson back in the early 90's.
Next thing I know, I'm back on my feet and there are alot of bloody guys around me. So as I hop up, I'm feelin' pretty good and somehow I never got punched in the face, but meanwhile Ed is still looking like a crazyman. (but I've never been so glad to see a friend )
So anyway, fighting continues for a while longer and alot of people get arrested.

This is a true story ( but not a recommended one)
Luckily, both Ed and I left unscaved and unarrested and at the same time left many other dudes battered, bloody, and beaten on the streets of Willoughby and a few going to jail for the night ( I think one was Jakov, did he even fight? ).

That being said, this doesn't make fighting right and we could have easily been the ones beaten down, but the morale of the story is...

Don't do shots of Crown when you can't see straight... and always bring Ed Fitz with you if you think you might want to kick some ass.

Thanks Ed!

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Unread postby swerb » Sat Jan 28, 2006 9:33 am

God damn. Helluva story. Glad to hear you guys evaded arrest, and emerged unscathed. Ed Fitz is a legend.

The one night I actually make it out to the bar and manage to stay out till 11, and I still miss all the action.
"It's like dating a woman who hates you so much she will never break up with you, even if you burn down the house every single autumn." ~ Chuck Klosterman on Browns fans relationship with the Browns

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Unread postby Guest » Sat Jan 28, 2006 10:15 am

I love it
Ed to the rescue
That is a great story.
Glad the enemy was the only one beat up.

Unread postby Captain Insano » Sat Jan 28, 2006 1:15 pm

I guess not as unscathed ( or unscaved ) as I originally thought. Damn am I sore!
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Unread postby Guest » Sat Jan 28, 2006 3:22 pm

Drink some high quality H2O

Unread postby skeeforce » Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:17 pm

You owe it all the crazy cab driver that refused to take Ed home, otherwise you may have been seriously hurt. Yakov may not have been able to do as much damage for you. Hilarious. I can attest (sorry for being crass) that Ed has retard strength when he is tanked.
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