Facebook is

[jb]

the most voyeuristic and narcessistic waste of time yet invented.

Fuck your farmville and all the updates that you just replaced your lost aglet with tape clogging up my shit like as if I just pounder a poppa johns with double cheese.

Sheer boredome. How do I kill my account?

Discuss?

[motherscratcher]

My cousin convinced me to join about a year and a half ago. I pop in occasionally and have absolutely no fucking idea what it is I'm supposed to be doing there.

People post the most boring, irrelevant shit fathomable. It's like going to the TCF forums to find that the only poster in history is 1Perry.

I will no go to facebook and cut and past something:

Sharing DNA does not make you family, the way people treat each other is what REALLY makes your family.

And I like the girl that posted this. She's a nice girl. But what the hell am I supposed to take from that.

It doesn't bother me having an account as I rarely go there so it's not like it affects me. The occasional email I get from facebook are pointless but no more annoying than any other spam.

The whole thing just seems so pointless.

I haven't deleted my account because it didn't seem worth my time trying to figure out how.

And I don't understand what farmville or mafia wars is.

[peeker643]

I play no games and I liberally (and I mean liberally) remove people from view. That includes cousins and friends who I'll talk to but not read on that site.

I use it to post the Weekend Wrap. I get a lot of hits from it and I get a lot of feedback from it.

I also found an ENT who would see me the day after I posted for friends suggestions when the ENT happened to be friends with one of my friends.

My kids are into it so I ghost them to make sure there's nothing goofy going on.

So that's pretty much how I use it. When I need something, when I want people to read my shit and to make sure my kids aren't going off the tracks with it.

[motherscratcher]

I play no games and I liberally (and I mean liberally) remove people from view. That includes cousins and friends who I'll talk to but not read on that site.

I use it to post the Weekend Wrap. I get a lot of hits from it and I get a lot of feedback from it.

I also found an ENT who would see me the day after I posted for friends suggestions when the ENT happened to be friends with one of my friends.

My kids are into it so I ghost them to make sure there's nothing goofy going on.

So that's pretty much how I use it. When I need something, when I want people to read my shit and to make sure my kids aren't going off the tracks with it.

What do you mean remove people from view? Is that defriending?

[Ziner]

Facebook sounds a lot worse when you are all old and crap.

I organize parties, stay in touch with friends that live all over the country, and check out hot chicks from college and high school who post their pictures from the Bahamas where they are half naked. You guys need new facebook friends.

[jb]

the basis for a movie im watching tonight

[skatingtripods]

What do you mean remove people from view? Is that defriending?

In the Live Feed, you can click an x near the post and it will hide that person. You can hide all posts produced from certain apps (Farmville, FourSquare, etc.).

[Erie Warrior]

I organize parties, stay in touch with friends that live all over the country, and check out hot chicks from college and high school who post their pictures from the Bahamas where they are half naked. You guys need new facebook friends.

That's about it. Don't forget seeing how fat and unattractive HS people have gotten. I trim my friends list every few months. Under 90 right now, so that helps with the BS posts.

[peeker643]

I play no games and I liberally (and I mean liberally) remove people from view. That includes cousins and friends who I'll talk to but not read on that site.

I use it to post the Weekend Wrap. I get a lot of hits from it and I get a lot of feedback from it.

I also found an ENT who would see me the day after I posted for friends suggestions when the ENT happened to be friends with one of my friends.

My kids are into it so I ghost them to make sure there's nothing goofy going on.

So that's pretty much how I use it. When I need something, when I want people to read my shit and to make sure my kids aren't going off the tracks with it.

What do you mean remove people from view? Is that defriending?

No, not de-friend.

If you go to the top right of each 'post' so to speak, an 'X' will pop up (it's hidden til you put your cursor over it).

You can remove that post from your view or remove that person's posts from your view permanently (and you can get them back if you change your mind down the road). I have like 250 friends or so (most of whom I either don't know or don't speak to but I accept all requests) and I would say that I see posts from probably 50 and have hidden the rest.

[gotribe31]

Facebook sounds a lot worse when you are all old and crap.

check out hot chicks from college and high school who post their pictures from the Bahamas where they are half naked. You guys need new facebook friends.

Yup, this. Only reason I have an account. That and to keep tabs on Peeker.

Facebook suggested yesterday that I should be "friends" with LeCharles Bentley and Adam Dunn. Seriously. I think Facebook overestimates my social standing in the world.

[e0y2e3]

I've been on Facebook since it was just the elite coastal colleges allowed to jump on.

It was fun then.

Facebook in it's current state is the worst thing in all of civilization.

I log on every six months and accept all the stupid friend requests I have then log off, only to ever log back on prior to my six month request acceptance if I need to look up a phone number.

Fuck Facebook.

And fuck all of you cock-suckers I went to high school with that I haven't talked to in 8 years and don't even really care if you are alive that think I need to be Facebook friends with you.

Same with you random whore I worked with four years ago that I had a beer with once and maybe hit on.

And you, guy who frequents the same bar as me on weekends, why do you think we should be facebook friends if I purposefully avoid conversation with you on a regular basis?

And fat bitch I accidentally slept with that time I blacked out, FTR, I forgot that happened before it happened... stop reminding me on Facebook with friend requests.

Lastly, hot bitch I went to college with, it was nice knowing you and maybe we even slept together but you can stick your 400 feed updates a day about your annoying bitch ass kids up your ass. And I especially don't give a fuck where you and your lame ass husband went out to eat last night.

Incessant cunts, all of em.

[peeker643]

I've been on Facebook since it was just the elite coastal colleges allowed to jump on.

It was fun then.

Facebook in it's current state is the worst thing in all of civilization.

I log on every six months and accept all the stupid friend requests I have then log off, only to ever log back on prior to my six month request acceptance if I need to look up a phone number.

Fuck Facebook.

And fuck all of you cock-suckers I went to high school with that I haven't talked to in 8 years and don't even really care if you are alive that think I need to be Facebook friends with you.

Same with you random whore I worked with four years ago that I had a beer with once and maybe hit on.

And you, guy who frequents the same bar as me on weekends, why do you think we should be facebook friends if I purposefully avoid conversation with you on a regular basis?

And fat bitch I accidentally slept with that time I blacked out, FTR, I forgot that happened before it happened... stop reminding me on Facebook.

Lastly, hot bitch I went to college with, it was nice knowing you and maybe we even slept together but you can stick your 400 feed updates a day about your annoying bitch ass kids up your ass. And I especially don't give a fuck where you and your lame ass husband went out to eat.

Incessant cunts, all of em.

Lee and I are Facebook friends everyone.

Honestly, I'm a much bigger fan of Twitter than I an Facebook. Not even close. A random condescending note and then done. And if someone wants to take me apart for it they're limited to 140 characters.

Not to mention the Cavs recaps that I now write only by looking at Twitter feeds and not the actual game.

[e0y2e3]

We are Facebook friends, tis true. You're one of the 750+ lucky people who I am friends with on a site I hate that I don't use.

Twitter, we vibe on the Twitter thing.

[peeker643]

Anyone who posts their status as "So tired..." or "Guess what Little Carly/Johnny said this morning..." is automatically removed from my FB feed.

I don't give a fuck if you're tired or how much you think you do and I don't give a fuck about your fucking kids either.

I barely can deal with what mine are doing.

[e0y2e3]

Twitter is a news delivery device if used correctly (combined with snark delivery).

Facebook is attention whoring to the one millionth power.

I really hate all the fucks that upload pictures of me and force me to sign into Facebook, hunt the pictures down and untag myself.

If I wanted pictures of me tagged on the internet I would upload my own pictures and tag them. I don't even own any pictures myself (let alone a camera), pictures are for bitches. Fuckwads.

[Ziner]

Anyone who posts their status as "So tired..." or "Guess what Little Carly/Johnny said this morning..." is automatically removed from my FB feed.

I don't give a fuck if you're tired or how much you think you do and I don't give a fuck about your fucking kids either.

I barely can deal with what mine are doing.

Dead on, anyone who lets me know how their potty training is going or how adorable their child is every 5 minutes is gone.

[peeker643]

Twitter is a news delivery device if used correctly (combined with snark delivery).

Facebook is attention whoring to the one millionth power.

Dead nuts right.

Not to mention if you can't be clear, concise and amusing in 140 characters or less then you're not clear, concise and amusing at all.

[motherscratcher]

What do you mean remove people from view? Is that defriending?

In the Live Feed, you can click an x near the post and it will hide that person. You can hide all posts produced from certain apps (Farmville, FourSquare, etc.).

Huh, that's interesting, man. That's fuckin' interesting.

I have about 3-4 "friends" that post about 29 things a day each. They drown out everything else.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Fuck Facebook.

Fuck Twitter.

Fuck the assholes that use them. I don't give a fuck about your crazy cat, or your stupid slut 19th birthday party, or your knee injury and relationship with god.

Fuck off.

[peeker643]

Fuck Facebook.

Fuck Twitter.

Fuck the assholes that use them. I don't give a fuck about your crazy cat, or your stupid slut 19th birthday party, or your knee injury and relationship with god.

Fuck off.

You're a hump. OldHossRadburn is worth signing up all by himself. He's an old-time un-dead ballplayer who tweets about the goings on in baseball and life.

He adds something to my day. Unlike having to read 1perry or the Tribe boards.

OldHossRadbourn Old Hoss Radbourn
Around this time I'd crawl from under a rock and think of base ball. "Rock" was of course a nick name for Bertha, Illinois's largest whore.

ldHossRadbourn Old Hoss Radbourn
Hoss's Brothel Tips, Vol. I: Always bring a blade. But never brandish it! Trust me on this, or end up like Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown

OldHossRadbourn Old Hoss Radbourn
I did indeed run a "fantasy camp," @AnswerDave. Sadly, we lost too many of the corpulent participants in the Gatling Gun live fire drill.

OldHossRadbourn Old Hoss Radbourn
Chinese President Hu J. arrived in the United States today. Little known fact: his "air plane" uses Tibetan blood as fuel.

OldHossRadbourn Old Hoss Radbourn
Hoss has seen many horrendous things. Reb gunfire. Opium tremors. A sea monster. All pale compared to a split bag in a "Diaper Genie II."

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Oh ha ha ha.......

Fuck Twiter, Fuck Facebook, and fuck OldRossBlackburn.

It's all some ol' bullshit.

[motherscratcher]

I think Hunter would have embraced twitter.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

I think Hunter would have embraced twitter.

Oh yeah? Well he embraced ether too, but i'm not breaking into a funeral home to try it.

[motherscratcher]

I think Hunter would have embraced twitter.

Oh yeah? Well he embraced ether too, but i'm not breaking into a funeral home to try it.

Good. You're depraved enough as it is.

[peeker643]

I think Hunter would have embraced twitter.

Oh yeah? Well he embraced ether too, but i'm not breaking into a funeral home to try it.

I Wish you'd embrace a chainsaw.

Or a Kodiak bear.

Twitter is for winners.

Remember that. If you can't say something in 140 characters then you should shut the fuck up. (and that was 93 characters if you were counting).

[Cerebral_DownTime]

I think Hunter would have embraced twitter.

Oh yeah? Well he embraced ether too, but i'm not breaking into a funeral home to try it.

I Wish you'd embrace a chainsaw.

Or a Kodiak bear.

Twitter is for winners.

Remember that. If you can't say something in 140 characters then you should shut the fuck up. (and that was 93 characters if you were counting).

I would just kill the bear with the chainsaw and enjoy my new rug while sipping whiskey.

If twiiter makes you happy then i'm happy.

[FUDU]

Facebook has its purpose and is fine for those that use it in that way, beyond that it has become a way for people to think out loud, twitter ain't much different.

The best is when a FB user posts that other people should mind their own business.

[JCoz]

Facebook sounds a lot worse when you are all old and crap.

check out hot chicks from college and high school who post their pictures from the Bahamas where they are half naked. You guys need new facebook friends.

Yup, this. Only reason I have an account. That and to keep tabs on Peeker.

Facebook suggested yesterday that I should be "friends" with LeCharles Bentley and Adam Dunn. Seriously. I think Facebook overestimates my social standing in the world.

I love TCF, I really do.

[Orenthal]

This...

Sharing DNA does not make you family, the way people treat each other is what REALLY makes your family.

and this...

And fuck all of you cock-suckers I went to high school with that I haven't talked to in 8 years and don't even really care if you are alive that think I need to be Facebook friends with you.

The month that I had an account a guy I ripped on incessently requested me, and then suggested I follow his band. I was very disgusted.

[JoJo White]

Did one of you develop this site?

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

You used to be fun. Now you have a baby. If you're being driven crazy by your friends' baby updates every time you check your status feed, please feel free to contribute to this blog. stfuparentsblog@gmail.com Also on Twitter: twitter.com/STFUParents *submissions can be text, screen capture, anonymous, etc.*

[Larvell Blanks]

I use facebook to post pictures of the kids for out of state relatives and friends. No comments, no daily updates. The worst part is I used to be on my High School's MIA list for reunions. Now these assholes know where I'm at and I get stupid invites to "get togethers" every month.Now w/ our 25th looming, the shit will be non ending. I hated these people 25 yrs ago, do I want to pretend I like them now? I log on maybe once a week, se if there's anything interesting but it's usaully someone giving me coins for Bejeweled or some other stupid game.

[peeker643]

Did one of you develop this site?

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

You used to be fun. Now you have a baby. If you're being driven crazy by your friends' baby updates every time you check your status feed, please feel free to contribute to this blog. stfuparentsblog@gmail.com Also on Twitter: twitter.com/STFUParents *submissions can be text, screen capture, anonymous, etc.*

These ideas do pass through my head. Unfortunately I'm either too dumb or too lazy to take advantage.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Did one of you develop this site?

http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

You used to be fun. Now you have a baby. If you're being driven crazy by your friends' baby updates every time you check your status feed, please feel free to contribute to this blog. stfuparentsblog@gmail.com Also on Twitter: twitter.com/STFUParents *submissions can be text, screen capture, anonymous, etc.*

These ideas do pass through my head. Unfortunately I'm either too dumb or too lazy to take advantage.

You don't strike me as lazy.

I have ideas too.

[Triple-S]

only time it's really all that useful is for keeping touch with friends who live more than 25 miles away.

my sole reason for having it, any other reasons are pretty much gay and pointless.

[jb]

I've been on Facebook since it was just the elite coastal colleges allowed to jump on.

It was fun then.

Facebook in it's current state is the worst thing in all of civilization.

I log on every six months and accept all the stupid friend requests I have then log off, only to ever log back on prior to my six month request acceptance if I need to look up a phone number.

Fuck Facebook.

And fuck all of you cock-suckers I went to high school with that I haven't talked to in 8 years and don't even really care if you are alive that think I need to be Facebook friends with you.

Same with you random whore I worked with four years ago that I had a beer with once and maybe hit on.

And you, guy who frequents the same bar as me on weekends, why do you think we should be facebook friends if I purposefully avoid conversation with you on a regular basis?

And fat bitch I accidentally slept with that time I blacked out, FTR, I forgot that happened before it happened... stop reminding me on Facebook with friend requests.

Lastly, hot bitch I went to college with, it was nice knowing you and maybe we even slept together but you can stick your 400 feed updates a day about your annoying bitch ass kids up your ass. And I especially don't give a fuck where you and your lame ass husband went out to eat last night.

Incessant cunts, all of em.

I love this guy. Perfect.

As the college experience as stated in TSN I get it. Other than that what Lee wrote.

[jb]

Twitter is a news delivery device if used correctly (combined with snark delivery).

Facebook is attention whoring to the one millionth power.

Dead nuts right.

Not to mention if you can't be clear, concise and amusing in 140 characters or less then you're not clear, concise and amusing at all.

What about posts / pix on the dead durr they offed?

[Boston_butt]

Facebook is an embodiment of why the world hates America.

Let me first and foremost say that I don't Facebook. If I wanted to wade through a few tons of shit to find a nugget of gold, I'd put on a snorkel and go into the sewer looking for the wedding ring or two that gets accidentally flushed down the toilet every day. But quite frankly, my time and dignity are worth more to me than that.

That being said, I am absolutely familiar with Facebook, specifically the type of creature that inhabits Facebook. I can speak with authority on this topic because I live above the surface of the earth, and get out occasionally. I don't need to be raped Marcellus-Wallace-style by Zed and Maynard to know it would be an affront to my dignity. As such, here are the reasons I don't Facebook:

The first type of person I am avoiding on Facebook is Miss High School Queen. Susie Spirit is always reminiscing about the good ol days of high school when the only thing she had to worry about was getting the cum stains out of the back seat of daddy's El Dorado. Ms. Spirit still thinks her little clique was and is authorized in some way to rule over the plebeians and receive their adoration and idolization like some amalgamation of Hosni Mubarak and Leona Helmsley. Frankly Susie, all you were good to me in high school for was imagining giving you a good hate fucking in the El Dorado, which entertained me while Miss Blusterbreath droned on and on about medieval literature. I've moved on, why can't you?

The second type of person is the work associate. For some reason, when you shake hands with someone in a meeting and give them your business card, in a Facebook world they feel it is a license to connect with your personal life. I get tons of emails inviting me to friend after meetings, all sitting in my trash folder with every other "temptation" to Facebook. But if I were to use Facebook, I may post something about spending the weekend face down in the bathroom shouting at my friend Earl on the big white porcelain telephone after clearing out a bottle of Pepe Lopez, because that would be an important (and not-unusual) event in my life. And then I'd see you on Monday, and you'd be judging me, and losing respect for me, when we had a perfectly fine cordial and professional relationship prior. Do I need that? Hell no. Oh, the Glamour Shot on your desk of that pig you married is a more than sufficient window into YOUR personal life for me. For God's sake, please, I do NOT want to see her in a bikini when you post your vacation photos.

And what about Lefty and Righty, the political fanatics who twist every post to be about politics, and then turn your wall into their own little Hippodrome? "I just had a colonoscopy" would be a seemingly innocent post and then Righty would come in and say "You know under Obamacare, they won't be able to use lube for that", and then Lefty would come back with "No lube? That sounds like the entire Bush presidency". And then a boring, inane, cliche-laden unreadable tripe-throwing battle of half-wits would ensue, and all my friends would see that for some reason I befriended two of the dumbest creatures ever to emerge successfully from a vagina. None of that is needed in my life.

And that's just the surface. There's Drunky McDrunkerson, who not only posts all the time about his drinking, but posts on your wall while he's drunk, and that's never good. There's Divorcy McDrama, who feels Facebook is the appropriate forum to give you all the updates about her failing marriage. Mommy McBoring thinks nobody else has ever had a kid, and therefore every awesome revelation she experiences as a mother MUST BE SHARED RIGHT NOW! "My kid stops crying if I clean up the diaper full of shit he is wearing! Amazing!" Shutup. Your family is uninteresting, you're worse, your kids are ugly, and you need to rediscover the gym to get rid of that "pregnancy weight".

Oh, and as e0 mentioned so eloquently above, most of you douchebags have fallen out of my life for a reason. I no longer contact you because you are no longer my friend, and are no loner useful in my life. I neither care nor need to know any element of your daily life, or that your useless body even still breathes. I just don't fucking care.

In conclusion, yes, fuck Facebook.

[Orenthal]

I can sum it up.

I hate you, I hate your life, stfu and die.

[motherscratcher]

Whoa dude.

[gotribe31]

Whoa dude.

Can we safely call that the most epic 5th post in the history of TCF?

[jb]

Chowd Butt chimes in like 3 times a year, and it is always the most choiceset shit.

No exception here.

[swerb]

Chowd Butt chimes in like 3 times a year, and it is always the most choiceset shit.

No exception here.

Exactly. The dude posts once every six months, but comes large when he does.

[FUDU]

He was due.

[Triple-S]

That was amazingly awesome.

this guy should write for the site.

[Orenthal]

He was due.

bwahahahahaha

[Erie Warrior]

Awesome. Where's my fuckin' parrot?

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

[peeker643]

Awesome. Where's my fuckin' parrot?

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

I wish we weren't so lazy or all of us here could band together and lord over the stupid.

But give me the address to that Abortionplex. You know the chicks walking outta that joint are up for a party.

[dmiles]

I've posted an Onion story and seen this phenomena with my own FB friends.

[leadpipe]

Awesome. Where's my fuckin' parrot?

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

I wish we weren't so lazy or all of us here could band together and lord over the stupid.

But give me the address to that Abortionplex. You know the chicks walking outta that joint are up for a party.

Our hometown could use one of them thar Abortionplexes Peek.

[Spin]

All I can say is you guys have the WRONG FRIENDS...

FB is a great way to trade one-liners, keep up with people you actually do want to keep up with, and hook up for games and races and shit.

But then I'm in a job here you actually LIKE 90% of the people you work with, and there's a lot of job switching. And we like to talk shop, find out what interesting shit the others got themselves into.

Maybe that's the difference.