anyone got any good stories from work/school?

[Triple-S]

just curious, and no I'm not talking about "once the boss came in wearing a funny tie! teehee!". I'm talking the real good stuff, like a guy getting arrested or something.

[Larvell Blanks]

^ you're the one who speaks to Steeler fans daily, you should have some good moonshine, sister swapping stories of your own, no?

[Cerebral_DownTime]

When I worked for Accor, this guest tried to grab a housekeeper and rape her, so the cops shot him when they made entry to the room he barricaded himself in. He ended up having a gun, 3 ounces of crank, 2 swords, and a can of gas in his room.

Don't do meth.

[Love child of shawn kemp]

This happened a few years ago while I was a busboy at one of the local country clubs. We had a major afterhours blowout party. Swimming in the pool, golfcart jousting - the works. One of the busboys had too many and passed out on the pool patio about 4:00 am. He ends up puking all over himself so being good friends, we hook up a hose and spray him down. No response. I was heading home and told the stragglers to take "John" home. Of course they left him, soaking wet, covered in puke and passed out on the patio. Sunday morning the golfers start rolling in early but my poor friend doesn't wake up until 9:30 and then has to walk several miles home which took him like three hours. The next day the GM comes up to my other friend who was the valet, the oldest and presumably the most responsible and tells him "The next time you guys have a party, take out the trash"

[motherscratcher]

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[jb]

When I worked for Accor, this guest tried to grab a housekeeper and rape her, so the cops shot him when they made entry to the room he barricaded himself in. He ended up having a gun, 3 ounces of crank, 2 swords, and a can of gas in his room.

Don't do meth.

Didn't Kobe make a successful comeback from that?

[swerb]

Best ever is the Seinfeld episode where George sleeps with the cleaning lady and his boss finds out.

"Was I not supposed to do that?"

[Fire Marshall Bill]

You guys give this thread your best shots....seriously

And when you're all finished with whatever it is you think makes for a good read, I'll tell a story of a contracting job I had in Vegas for two gay guys that involves Valentine's Day, an old man named Marvin,his flaming fag roomie named Johnny,a yapping dog, ambulances, a crooked cop and a dead body on the dining room floor when I went to collect my $

For a kicker, I'll tell the one of me working in a steel yard there, a fishing trip with a convicted murderer, his Aryan Warrior prison and biker bro, a near knife fight in a super market parking lot, a trip down the Colorado below Hoover Dam, 2 boats running out of gas, one sinking, drunks falling off the back in 1200' of water, stealing gas, spending the night on the river and riding up the the bottom of the dam the next day.....and not one fucking fish

[jb]

One time, at band camp....

( I never was in band, and one of the great lies in the world is "band was cool at my high school".)

[fairvis]

One time, at band camp....

( I never was in band, and one of the great lies in the world is "band was cool at my high school".)

I take partial offense to that (mainly because it's true, and I resemble that remark). While band was not cool at my high school (although when I had my locker next to the starting QB my senior year we did talk football quite a bit, and he respected me fairly well, at least within the hallways of Ignatius) it damn well was in college. I was walking home from a game in mid-September to my apartment on E. 19th (between Summit and 4th, around 1.5 miles from the stadium) and heard someone yell "Hey, band guy!" They invited me on the porch, fed me some of their leftover food from the game, and shot the shit with me for a half hour or so. After having to turn down alcohol and desperately needing a smoke (not allowed to drink/smoke in uniform), but with a full belly, I was most appreciative. The OSU women's basketball team also really liked us, and would hang out with us in the lobby during tournaments (yeah, I know, it's women's bball, but the volleyball team had similar reactions).

I did get a couple of free pitchers of beer from some hockey players down here as well because I was in the band.

In essence, band in high school = lame. Band in college = free football games, free trips to away games, free bowl trips to warm locales, free admission to basketball and hockey, and if you're good, free trips to conference and NCAA tournaments where they give you $40-50 to eat on each day, of which you spend $3 on coffee, $5 at McDonald's for lunch, $20-30 for a good dinner, and the rest on alcohol.

[motherscratcher]

During my time at tOSU I remember people thinking very highly of the bandand didn't consider them "dorks" or anything the way maybe they would have been thought of in high school. How much of that is due to Woody, do you think?

[fairvis]

During my time at tOSU I remember people thinking very highly of the bandand didn't consider them "dorks" or anything the way maybe they would have been thought of in high school. How much of that is due to Woody, do you think?

Probably a fair amount. Woody did make the band known as The Best Damn Band In The Land. Tressell has also buffed that rep- for example, see the first words out of his mouth when he's handed the crystal ball in 2002. There are also tie-ins between the band and the football team that help keep that reputation. Every year on the Sunday before the Michigan game, the band visits the football team in the Woody Hayes Athletic Center after dinner, and performs for them one-on-one. The team then matches up with a band member, takes an instrument, and marches through Script Ohio, then sticks around and signs autographs and talks with band members afterwards. It was always an awesome day of the year, and really got the team into Michigan week.

Fans take pride in the fact that the OSUMB is the best, bar none. Band members take real, big pride in making it, and while most other bands around the college circuits are non-competitive, the OSUMB is still cutthroat to even get in. People know and respect that, and respect is the name of the game, even if it is designated at us lowly instrumentalists.

[Triple-S]

"You can play a fricken horn you're whole life, but you can only play football a precious few times"

-one of my football coaches.

Band kids from my personal experience were a mixed bag, I of course had a younger brother in it do to him being unable to play footbaw'. A lot of kids I ran into were pretty smug about it, considering themselves vastly superior to us because they could play "oh susanna" on the tuba versus, tackling people in the mud, and often times would say a ton of snarky comments our way, stuff ranging from bitching about us making the playoffs because it was too cold and they wanted to stay inside, to making shirts one season where we were terrible stating "Well at least the band is good". The hilarious part is most of the football players, myself included, really didn't have any animosity towards them.

Also, to make it more hilarious about my point who the real football fans are in NEOhio, most of the kids in the band were Steeler fans, and most of my former team mates are Browns fans,

That is not to say, I myself didn't have people whom I considered friends in the band, quite the opposite, just saying that in HS, there was a lot of unneeded "Hurr!" moments.

TOSU seems to be quite different though, I admire that band and consider them top notch, along with anyone who has ever dotted the I. Sort of wish that my HS could have taken a few pages from TBDBITL and Tressell's playbook, but such is life.

[jb]

During my time at tOSU I remember people thinking very highly of the bandand didn't consider them "dorks" or anything the way maybe they would have been thought of in high school. How much of that is due to Woody, do you think?

Didn't coin the term, butt...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Band%20Fag

My ex is pushing my son into HS band. I love him like nada else. If he wants to do HS band, I would be a band parent and tell him he's Elvis circa 1956 for being in it.

[motherscratcher]

Uhhhh...what's a ute?

[Ziner]

Story from college.

Went with a buddy down to the Boneyard downtown, we started heavily indulging in the $2 mystery beer. Long story short, Woke up in NYC on an RV with Tucker Max who was heading to Tuckerfest which was to be held in his honor.

Had serious regrets of the drunken decision that made me think it would be a good idea to go with complete strangers to NYC, mostly because I was to attend the funeral of the mother of my ex girlfriend the next morning. Felt like complete ass and a complete ass. Ended up making our way downtown and proceeded to take the next Greyhound back to Cleveland. An overnight bus on Greyhound might be the strangest experience anywhere. Worst 24 hours ever.

Oh, and Tucker is a bigger douche than you would imagine.

[Erie Warrior]

I once beat a goose to death with a 9 iron on a public golf course. At 11 a.m. On a Saturday. Blood all over the tee box.

I think I made one of the grounds keepers cry.

[Love child of shawn kemp]

I once beat a goose to death with a 9 iron on a public golf course. At 11 a.m. On a Saturday. Blood all over the tee box. I think I made one of the grounds keepers cry.

There is a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode similar to that. Might have been a swan though.

[216]

No one ever believes me but I think its a pretty cool story...

Back in 95 I had a 91 Red Dodge Ramcharger I thought it was the coolest truck/suv in the world! When I use to go to work I would allow my girl drive it. One night she came up to see me at work very upset with a bruise on her left cheeck I could tell
she had been crying. When I asked what happened she told me she stopped at a light Memphis and Fulton these two guy approached her on the driver side opened the door and tried to pull her out. But she stomped on the gas and ran the red light. I walked out on the spot!

Told ya it sounds unbelievable. But it gets better. She gave me a description but the 5-8 bald big gut the other was a Big Guy with long hair tattoos her exact words "He looked like a pro wrestler" She also kept calling them coke head bikers.

I was 18 at the time and a hot head pissed of these two low lifes messed with my car and my girl I was going to teach them a lesson.

So I go and Grab my cousin who is a fairly decent size dude 6-2 210. He was a MAJOR hot head! We hopped in my car and started driving up and down Memphis looking for the two assholes. Thier use to be a bar on Memphis called the Memphis Tavern a hole in the wall punch palace for coke heads.

So I drove by it and sure as shit I see a bald headed guy with a huge beer gut about 5-8 on side of the street and and a BIG BOY on the opposite side Dude looked scary. So I pull over on W49th and Memphis stop my car and my cousin starts to get out they start walk over to the car a sure sign they knew what we wanted. My cousin yells out to the bigger guy across the street "HEY CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?" His buddy the smaller bald one replies with "SHUT UP BITCH AND GET BACK IN YOUR CAR" BAM!!! my cousin hit the guy KO'd first punch he fell so hard I heard his head smack the back of the sidewalk. My cousin proceeds to stand over the guy and hit him with left and rights like he like its mike tyson punch out, Honestly one of the most violent scenes I have ever seen with each punch you could hear the guys head bouncing off the ground. He was laying in a puddle of his own blood. This is all happening in a matter of seconds I see his Buddy start to run across memphis ave now

Yea the BIG GUY. Terrified he is going to sneak attack my cousin I jump out in front of him to setup a decoy I DID NOT want to fight this guy!!! My decoy works and he takes a swing at me and misses He was WASTED so he was moving kinda slow when he swung and missed I pushed him into a wall and he fell. THAT WAS VERY DUMB because he got right back and even more pissed off! He kept charging at me and I kept moving and talking shit waiting for my cousin to come help me out. Finally my cousin looks up realizes whats going on and runs up behind the guy and tries to grab him from behind between his legs and slam him on his head, But it doesnt quite work out the guy falls right on my cousin. One guy is laying out KO'd and the other is on the ground rolling around with my cousin. So I start throwing blows at the guy must cousin is locked up with but they are thrashing so much Im only connecting like once every third punch. Finally he holds still and he has my cousin in some kinda choke hold. He Starts yelling stop swingin or I will check his ass to death. So I stop...Take a few paces back. Im at angle now so he cant see me. I tell myself fuck it and I run and give him a FG style kick to his head and man I connected BIG TIME!!! His head went flying back and he let go of my cousin and fell back his eye that I kicked started to swell almost instantly we decided we had a enough and should quit while we had the lead. We got back in the car as we were leaving The guy who I kicked looked like rocky balboa after he fought the russian his bald headed buddy was curled up CRYING yes CRYING.

Revenge was so sweet! Its all true. I know its sounds like a bunch of BULL but it happened!

[Loo]

Best ever is the Seinfeld episode where George sleeps with the cleaning lady and his boss finds out.

"Was I not supposed to do that?"

Partially related, when George is with two girls that meet at the restaurant and he yells "I am caught in my web of lies!" might be my favorite Seinfeld moment.

Damn my stories suck compared to yalls.

Anyway--last year at Kent, I was staying in a dorm. Three buddies and I go down to Columbus to see the Jackets play Pittsburgh. Midway through the first period, we all get phone calls that our buddy, who lived on the fourth floor, was doing shrooms and jumped out of his window. He actually landed right outside my window, which I would not have been able to handle. He broke his wrists, but is fully recovered. Midway through the second period, we all get phone calls again. Two people who lived on the first floor, tried to kill themselves. They were dating, and had a pact that if they ever decided to break up they'd kill each other...they tried, but some of the RAs saw blood seep from outside the door. They barely survived. That's pretty much stupidity at its finest.

I lived two doors down a guy who in EVERY WAY would remind you of Spicoli from Fast Times. The hair, the way he talked, the drugs, everything. This guy brought in some white widow or something like that--a type of weed--all he did was cut it up, and people two floors above him were complaining to their RAs. He also was cutting up acid with his door wide open one day. How he didn't get caught in a year in the dorm is still beyond me.

There's another from last year that involves a girl making it a good night for me on the roof of the main dorm on campus, but that's a tad inaaprioate for here, I think.

In high school, my best buddy and his friends made the national news for making youtube videos about some teachers and students, and were suspended 10 days (Green high, if anyone remembers). How on Earth that made Fox national news is beyond me. They made a couple of videos poking fun at some teachers and themselves and people act is if they murdered somebody. One was a spanish teacher who looked like Einstein and had a real thick accent, so obviously they poked fun in the video and one kid had a thick accent...the guy called his lawyers to the school because he threatened to sue the family.

[peeker643]

I found last Saturday that a kid I was in first grade with killed his girlfriend and cut her legs off so she'd fit in a wheel barrow. Guess that was about 25 years ago when he did that and then he and a buddy buried her in the buddy's backyard.

So that was an interesting pre-Christmas conversation. How I never heard about that when it happened in Mentor (or don't remember hearing about it anyway) is beyond me. But I ran into a guy in law enforcement that I went to elementary school with (who actually used to post here a bit before jfiling drove him insane)and started quizzing him about kids I remembered.

Bad idea.

http://www.petitiononline.com/Joyce1/

[hermanfontenot]

I worked at a postal facility for nearly four years and nobody got shot there.

[motherscratcher]

I found last Saturday that a kid I was in first grade with killed his girlfriend and cut her legs off so she'd fit in a wheel barrow. Guess that was about 25 years ago when he did that and then he and a buddy buried her in the buddy's backyard.

So that was an interesting pre-Christmas conversation. How I never heard about that when it happened in Mentor (or don't remember hearing about it anyway) is beyond me. But I ran into a guy in law enforcement that I went to elementary school with (who actually used to post here a bit before jfiling drove him insane)and started quizzing him about kids I remembered.

Bad idea.

http://www.petitiononline.com/Joyce1/

Damn. That's messed up. How in the world did this happen and I never heard about it? At least I don't remember hearing about it and I grew up in Willoughby.

I remember the Donald/Ted Soke murders. I figured that's what you were talking about at first.

I also remember just about everything about when Lombardozzi killed Christie Montrella. My brother was friends with her and I knew her brother Mark very vaguely. I remember losing hope the longer she was missing and I remember being in school when they found her along Pepper Pike. I think Lombardozzi was up for parole last year because I signed the petition. Don't know what happened, though. Time flies.

BTW: Have you ever tried to move someone in a wheel barrow without cutting their legs off? It ain't easy.

[216]

Speaking of guys who murder girlfriends... I just turned 21 moved to Florida (Tarpon Springs) moved into a Apartment Complex Called Tarpon Woods. Wasn’t really a bad neighborhood but not really a place you would want to Raise kids in either, I was single so I didn’t mind. I had a landscaping job everyone I worked with was just like Lawrence from Office space. I had only two things I cared about Chasing Tail and buying beer. I Thought I was KING SHIT cause I had my own place in Florida For a kid who just moved down from Cleveland Ohio it seemed like a big deal at the time.

Anyway One of the guys I worked with lived right below me. We didn’t really speak a lot occasional head nod "WHATS UP?" and "Come on down for a beer some time" that type of shit.

I go into work on a random Friday dude isn’t in. No one really thinks twice about it because it’s the type of place where people get to wasted and don’t even come in the next day. Sure the HMFIC is pissed but he thinks guy is just started the weekend early and he will chew his ass on Monday.

Saturday I wake up head out the local Publix (Florida version of Giant Eagle) get some beers
Go to the mall get a haircut. I got a girl and a few of her friends coming over that night.
On the way back from my errands I stop and pick up one of the chics who is suppose to come over we had back to my apartment

When we get home I see Cop cars all over the place... we walk up to my apartment building. I am shiting myself... Because there is a Crime Scene tape around the bottom floor of the building I live in. we walk over to a uniformed officer and explain I live in upstairs from the crime scene and ask if we can head up to my apartment he looks over at another guy in plain clothes with a shield and explains he gives the head nod and we go up. I start to load the beer in my fridge. Going back and forth with this girl I plan to "dig out" later about what could possibly happened. I could feel my chances starting to slip away. Little did I know the detective was about to cock block me like never before. 5 min later Knocking on my door. The same detective who gave me permission to cross the tape and go upstairs asking if he can come in and look around and ask me a few questions. Now I am really shitting myself. But I agree Hey I didn’t do anything wrong. So he starts asking me if I was home Friday afternoon... or if I heard and yelling or fighting from the apartment below. "No Sir" he then proceeded to ask if he could move some of my furniture around? So I said sure and respectfully asked what's going on? He explained there was a shooting in the building below me and the angle of the bullet had came right up through my floor. I couldn’t help but think "shit good thing I went to work, had I stayed home I might have got plugged"

Curiosity really got the best of us So we waited a few more minutes until it died down some and went back outside(I wish we didn’t). Only a handful of detectives now. I was about 30-45 feet away door at a angle and we could see straight in I don’t know what was more shocking the sight we saw or the fact NO ONE told us to leave they all just kept working like we didn’t exist. What I saw I wish I could unsee. Apparently the dude had it out with his girl She was sitting on the sofa beer next to her on table with a hole right between the eyes. Dude was laying on the floor in a mess of shit and blood right in front of her. He capped her and then did himself in. The girl I was with started FREAKING OUT pacing. She kept telling me "Ya know people need therapy after seeing shit like this" she never came over again. I don’t know what she was freaking out about I had to live there.

[motherscratcher]

^^^^^Well...?

Did you get laid or not?

[peeker643]

^^^^^Well...?

Did you get laid or not?

Sounds like he got fucked to me. Almost more so if he'd been sitting where that bullet came through. Plus he prolly had to pick up the slack for a few more days when the dead guy didn't show up for work.

[GodHatesClevelandSport]

I worked at Lorain County Community College library 10 or so years ago. One day around closing time, which was 5 p.m. that day, I am walking around shutting things down when one of the women at the front desk calls me over. She pointed at some guy about 20 yards away using one of the computers.

"He had his thing out!" she said.

I turned around and saw a guy sitting there with his hand in his lap, but no thing is out. I had no reason to think she was making it up, and his actions indicated that I might have just missed what he was doing.

Since it was near closing time I was turning off computers. I walk up to the computer beside him and he looks at me. As I turned the computer off I told him, "We're closing up in about 10 minutes." Then I paused and said, "And considering what you were just doing, you should just leave now."

He made this panicked expression like I had just stuck a gun in his ribs and demanded all his money. He shot up and took off out of the library.

In the meantime the girl or someone had called campus security because after a couple of these type of incidents they told us to call them about such matters. Well, they came right over and discovered that the guy had left behind his school schedule with all his personal information right on it.

It was pretty easy for them to find out who he was and ban him from campus.

[peeker643]

Well, they came right over and discovered that the guy had left behind his school schedule with all his personal information right on it.

It was pretty easy for them to find out who he was and ban him from campus.

By 'personal information' you didn't mean DNA I hope.... never mind. Probably name and SSN and such things.

[216]

^^^^^Well...?

Did you get laid or not?

Sounds like he got fucked to me. Almost more so if he'd been sitting where that bullet came through. Plus he prolly had to pick up the slack for a few more days when the dead guy didn't show up for work.

Nah, I didnt get any that night she hauled ass. I moved out and quit the job shortly after.

[RickNashEquilibrium]

Last August, I took my first trip to Vegas with my brother. He got there the day prior so I figured I would start the trip getting shitcanned on the connecting flight from Charlotte. We were going to be there for an entire week, but I had no intention of taking any day easy. Landed in Vegas around noon about 9 gin and tonics deep and ready to shoot some craps. I promptly took a cab to Caeser's to find my brother standing outside wearing flip flops, mesh shorts, a wife beater, unshaven, and a quite unpleasant visage. Please realize this is out of the norm for my bro, especially in public, so I am initially a bit worried.

I step out and we walk up to our suite and my brother proceeds to tell me he's blown his anticipated funds on the trip and is already DEEP in the red from the night before. Booze, blackjack, and broads - lock, stock, the fu#$ing lot. Quickly thinking and not wanted to be around a cantankerous Andrew (love my bro to death, but he's INTOLERABLE to be around when even in the slightest of bad moods) I pull a line from Rounders and ask, "You know what always cheers me up? Rolled up aces over kings. I got $1,000 in cash and enough in the bank for both of us to try and make good on this trip." He lets go the mildest of smirks and we proceed to get sushi at RA and hit up the holdem tables at Planet Hollywood. Great games all night with both of us winning pretty big (about $800 between the 2 of us playing $1/2 NL). Played the whole night with this group of dudes from Santa Barbara who were throwing a bachelor party. Very entertaining folks and a hilarious dealer to boot.

The 1st day poker marathon ended at about 8am so we head out and have breakfast at Mon Ami Gabi. Best Eggs Benedict I've ever had. The rest of that 2nd day was drinking and chillin by the pool. Nothing outstanding but a great time. Walked the strip, drank a ton of everclear mixes from Fat Tuesday's, and hit up some shops/bars/clubs. Day 3 is where it got interesting, and cemented Vegas as the highlight of my life thus far next to the night me and my fiancée had our first date and fell in love.

The setting is this - still in the red, my bro is determined to get it back. We both woke up that 3rd day with an itch to gamble. I mean a REAL itch, willing to do lay it on the line Jerry McConnell style ala Tomcats, but I was uncomfortable because my brother has a much bigger line of credit than I do. I tell him how about we find a juicy game at the Flamingo or something just so I have a buffer of cash and no need to use the plastic. My brother obliges and sure enough, the Flamingo has a ton of games going. We sit and play for about 2 hours, both doing extremely well. Between the old tourist and young kids who probably don't break even in their home games, we're both up a good $300-$400 easy. Nothing huge, but enough for great food and craps. Then the big hand happens. Unbeknown to us, the Flamingo (and most other places) have high hand jackpots that run progressively. My bro and one other guy are going back and forth on the flop with my brother going all in (and getting called). Guy shows ace high flush draw, and my bro winces and shows a lower flush draw. Not realizing it, my brother actually had an inside draw to the straight flush. Dealer says high hand jackpot is in play though Andrew is unsure what's going on at this point. Dealer explains that its up to $1,200 and his hand qualifies because he's using both cards. Sure enough, BOOM, dealer peels off the 8D on the turn. Brother banks the $1,200 (not sure what it was after taxes), and the entire pot in which the guy who called had about $400 in front of him. I look at my bro, and he knows what time it is - getting face down, chasing tail, and hitting the craps table at some point. His eagerness to get back in the black is quelled by the thrill of victory and green glory staring him in the face.

We pick up our stuff and walk out to find a place to drink outside. We walk down Vegas BLVD towards Harrah's and stumble upon Carnival Court, one of the most entertaining venues at Vegas to get rowdy and hook up. The bartenders are some of the best in the world and provide patrons with a real show. We both take a seat and scan the bar looking for some action. Sure enough, a group of girls are having a having a bachelorette party and looking to go out in style. My brother orders a double of tequila for everyone and the fun begins. Liquor is flowing, everyone is laughing, then a band dressed like The Warriors gets on stage and starts playing. They want someone from the crowd to participate in a live "show" and they folks around me did enough to get me on stage, much to my objection. Unfortunately, I have no choice, but before I get up there, I tell the bartender to get me a double of Crown and a Snakebite chaser to ease the nerves. It works, but I am in for the biggest letdown ever. I get on stage and the lead guitar/singer/host pulls out a blond wig with pigtails. Obviously, I'm like WTF? He says "put it on, we're gonna have some fun with you".

At this point in the afternoon, I am completely blitzed and hardly coherent but too in the zone to reject. I put the wig on, and for the next 3-4 minutes, a Vegas crowd, along with my brother videotaping, watch me lip sync to Summer Nights from Grease in pigtails. Tons of boos to go along with the cheers, but its all in good fun. I get a huge round of applause, then play a mini-basketball game to win everyone at the bar shots. I miss a few, but then nail a basket and the crowd erupts. High fives, pats on the back, and genuine pandemonium throughout the place. I stumble back to where my bro is and the bartender says I deserve something for having the balls to go up there. He tells me to kneel down under the bar and don't stop drinking. He makes some concoction that is strong, but tastes like tropical punch Kool-Aid and pours it from a liquor bottle straight down my gullet. Awesome stuff, but the alcohol hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything I drank that day struck me all at once when that mix hit my stomach. No puke, but I went from stumbling drunk to a complete discombobulated train wreck.

Unfortunately, the fun ends there. The girls were gone because their flight home was that afternoon. I was disappointed because of that, and a bit uncomfortable, so I tell Andrew I need to take a walk to get some fresh air in me. I tell him I'll be back shortly so sit tight. Not that simple. Apparently, I left Carnival Court and walked to god knows where for the next hour and a half. I literally do not remember where I went or what I did. My brother was calling my cell phone frantically but I couldn't answer because the battery was dead. At some point, my senses kicked in and noticed was standing across the street from Harrah's. I make my way back to the Court to find the place has been setup with various table games. I gaze around and focus as much as possible to see my brother in the distance laughing, drinking, and throwing down $25 a play at a blackjack table. Seems even a potentially missing brother couldn't stop the lure of Vegas. I make my way over and say hi and his face immediately goes blank. Andrew proceeds to interrogate me on where I've been for the past 1.5 hours and I explain in vain I had absolutely no idea. None. He berates for me for not answering my cell and says he claims he tried calling 911 to file a report but didn't get an operator. You must understand we're completely out of our minds from the afternoons binge so it makes sense the call went awry given how fu#$ed up he and I both were. I head back to the bar for more shots but realize I am not going to make it long. My brother is in the same boat. I am a moment away from passing out, but Andrew gets a hold of me and we somehow get back to Caeser's in once piece. The next morning, I wake up to find myself sleeping in the bathtub. WTF? I get up and ask my brother what the hell is going on. Serious as a heart attack he says, "you were cold and wanted to take a hot bath, clothes and all. Who am I to object given the condition you were in?" I don't have the energy to ask any more questions and we agree to chill out for the day and get as much rest as possible.

The remaining 3 days of the trip are a blast, but nothing compared to the first few nights and the subsequent shenanigans that transpired one afternoon at Carnival Court. The 2nd to last day there my boss called me and told me I would be getting a substantial raise upon my return. He explains the office is non-functional without me around and we would talk about my future when I got back on Monday. I told him that's great, but had to cut the conversation short as I was balls deep in a craps game and pizza at O'Sheas. Andrew and I ended our last evening there getting some steaks at Ruth Chris and walking the strip taking in the lights with a few cocktails. I had an early flight the next morning so tell my bro we can't hit up Mon Ami Gabi before we leave. We were both boozed and peopled out and were ready to get back to the less hectic confines of the North Shore. Sometime later, my brother called me at the office and said he had a short story to tell. Andrew tells me he hadn't checked his calls while in Vegas, so he had some catching up to do when he landed back in Cleveland. Going through his call book, he sees the 3 confusing numbers : "411" dialed a number of days earlier. Digging into the hazy memory that was our afternoon at Carnival Court, he vaguely remembers getting upset that the person kept interrupting him on the phone, but was so trashed he couldn't make heads or tails of it. Turns out he tried filing a missing persons report to an automated info message and gave up when the BJ tables started coming out. To this day, we both get a huge laugh out of that anytime Vegas becomes a topic of conversation. What's less funny is my entire performance was caught on video and my brother had the nerve to put it on facebook. Its made me the butt of jokes when it comes to why NOT to get too drunk in Vegas and why knowing 911 can be a lifesaver as long as your companions are sober enough to know their ass from a hole in the ground.