Premier League: Brief primer- part one

[RIBrownsFan]

For those interested in following the Premier League, but aren't that familiar with the teams involved, here's a brief capsule look at the 20 teams who currently constitute the first division of British soccer. At the end of the year, the bottom 3 teams will be relegated to the second tier, called the Championship. Much the same, 3 teams from the Championship will be promoted to the Premier League.

Pharaoh and anyone else feel free to add any details you feel important to the conversation. (Teams in alphabetical order)

1. Arsenal. Nickname is the Gunners. Located in London. One of the "Big 4" money teams that consistently outspend everyone else. They have been in the first tier of British soccer since 1920. Managed since 1996 by Arsene Wenger (pronounced "Venger"). Winners of the Premier League in 1998, 2002, and 2004. Fans currently bitching that Wenger spends too much time developing young talent and not enough time concentrating on winning the league or the domestic tournaments. Rivals include Tottenham Hotspur and Man United. Notable players include Cesc Fabergas and Robin Van Persie. "Fever Pitch" was originally written about Arsenal.

2. Aston Villa. Nickname is the Villains, but I've never heard anyone say that. Usually just shortened to the Villa. Located in Birmingham. Owned by Jammies Lerner. Team appeared to be on the upswing prior to whatever the fuck happened between Lerner and former manager Martin O'Neill before the start of this season. They've been in the first division since last being promoted in 1989. Last won the First Division in 1981 and they were champions of all of Europe in 1982. Bitter rivalry with Birmingham City. Notable players included Gabriel Agbonlahor and former US keeper Brad Friedel.

3. Birmingham City. Nickname is the Blues. Unsurprisingly also located in Birmingham. Been in the top flight since last promotion in 2009. Considered a “yo-yo club”, as they frequently bounce between the first and second tiers. Generally appeal to the lower and middle class of Birmingham. They’ve never won the first division and their only major honor was winning the 1963 League Cup, one of the domestic tournaments. Currently managed by Alex “Big Eck” McLeish. Play a defensive style and rely on goaltending. Bitter rival is Aston Villa. Notable players include Ben Foster and James McFadden.

4. Blackburn Rovers. Usually referred to by full name. Located in Blackburn, 20 miles north of Manchester. Current stay in Premier League began in 2002. Blackburn is the only team other than one of the “Big 4” to win the Premier League, which they did in 1995. Notable for their home jerseys. http://www.historicalkits.co.uk/Blackbu ... Rovers.htm
Generally end up in the middle of the standings. Currently managed by “Big” Sam Allardyce. Rivalry is with Burnley, but Burnley is currently in the second tier. Notable players include Steven Nzonzi and Paul Robinson.

5. Blackpool. Nickname is the Tangerines. Located in Blackpool, a seaside resort town. This season marks their return to the first division for the first time since 1971. Blackpool is the smallest city currently in the Premier League, and expected by most to be relegated at the end of the season. Blackpool has never won the first division, and their greatest achievement was winning the FA Cup, the most prestigious domestic tournament, in 1953. Rivals include Blackburn and Wigan. Notable players include Jason Euell and Charlie Adam. Team is managed by Ian Holloway, one of the more colorful characters in the Premier League.

[swerb]

Thanks RI! Watched a good chunk of the game on ESPN2 last Sat morning. Starting to try to get into this as much as time will allow.

[RIBrownsFan]

Awesome dude. I know I entitled it part one, but I think I'll include all of the capsules in this thread.

[RIBrownsFan]

6. Bolton Wanderers. Also called the Trotters. Located in Horwich, a suburb of Manchester. Bolton has been in the Premier League since 2002. Bolton has never won the first division, but have captured the FA Cup 4 times, most recently in 1958. They are currently managed by Owen Coyle, who jumped ship in the middle of last season from eventually relegated Burnley to manage the Trotters. This move was widely vilified, making Coyle the LeBron James of the Premier League. Rivals include Blackburn and Blackpool. Generally finish in the middle to lower tier of the standings. Notable players include Kevin Davies and the US’s Stuart Holden.

7. Chelsea. Also called the Blues. Current champions of the Premier League and one of the “Big 4”. Located in London. Chelsea’s current stay in the first division began in 1990. They are owned by a Russian “businessman”, Roman Abramovich, and basically outspend the rest of the teams into oblivion. They won the Premier League in 2005, 2006, and 2010. They are managed by Carlo Ancellotti. Notable players include Didier Drogba and serial philanderer John Terry. Rivals include Fulham, Arsenal, and Man United. They can be fun to watch, but you are a total toolbag If you adopt them as your team.

8. Everton. Nickname is the Toffees. Located in Liverpool. They are basically the Minnesota Twins of the Premier League. In spite of limited resources, Everton generally finishes in the top half of the standings and qualified for the Champions League (the European super tournament) by finishing fourth in 2005. They are managed by David Moyes, generally considered to be one of the league’s best. Everton has been in the first division since 1954 and last won the first division in 1987. They also captured their most recent FA Cup in 1995. They have a fierce rivalry with Liverpool. Notable players include US goalkeeper Tim Howard and Tim Cahill.

9. Fulham. Called the Cottagers. Located in London. Have been in the Premier League since last promotion in 2002. Fulham has never won the first division, or captured one of England’s two major domestic tournaments, but they did finish as runner-up in the 2010 Europa League (Europe’s version of the NIT). Their main rival is fellow London club Chelsea. Currently managed by Mark Hughes, notable players include the US’s Clint Dempsey and Damien Duff. Generally finish in the middle of the standings.

10. Liverpool. The Reds. One of the most successful teams in the history of British soccer, Liverpool has won 18 first division titles, with the most recent coming in 1990. They have been champions of Europe five times, most recently in 2005, when they won an epic final over AC Milan. They are one of the “Big 4” of British soccer, but ownership turmoil contributed to a 7th place finish in 2010. Notable players include Fernando Torres and Stephen Gerrard. They are managed by Roy Hodgson, a solid manager who sounds like Elmer Fudd. Rivals with Everton and the rest of the Big 4. Choosing them would be like choosing the Celtics, so let’s avoid that, shall we?

[RIBrownsFan]

11. Manchester City. Usually just shortened to Man City. Historically the redheaded step child of Manchester football, Man City was recently purchased by a UAE oil sheik and have gone from one of the “have nots” to one of the “haves” of the Prem. They finished 5th in 2010, just missing out on a Champions League spot. Their current stay in the Prem began in 2003. They last won the first division in 1968, and their last FA Cup title came in 1969. Fiercest rival is of course Man United. Team wears awesome powder blue home jerseys. Currently managed by Roberto Mancini (pronounced “Man-cheeni”). Notable players include Carlos Tevez and Shay Given. Should be among the Prem elite for the foreseeable future.

12. Manchester United. The Red Devils. Take the Red Sox and Yankees and combine them into one douchetastic entity and it would be Man United. The biggest of the Big 4. Media darling, legions of bandwagon fans, whiney manager and players, beneficiary of dubious call after dubious call. The easiest team to hate in all of the Premier League. Much like Chelsea, they buy their way to title after title. Winners of the Premier League in 1993, 94, 96, 97, 99, 2000, 01, 03, 07, 08, and 2009. Champions of Europe in 1968, 1999, and 2008. They've been in the First Division since 1976. Managed by “Sir” Alex Ferguson since 1986. Notable players include Wayne Rooney and Edwin Van Der Sar. Cockbag is too kind an insult if you choose them as your team.

13. Newcastle United. The Toon. Another media favorite, albeit in the Chicago Cubs “haven’t won shit in a long time” sort of way. 2010 marks Newcastle’s return to the Prem after a one year absence. Prior to that, the team had been in the first division since 1994. Newcastle hasn’t won the first division since 1927, and their FA Cup drought stretches to 1955. They have a loyal and dedicated fan base, drawing 50,000 plus to second tier matches last season. They are managed by former Irish national team player Chris Hughton. Their rivals are Sunderland and Middlesbrough, (who is currently in the second tier). Notable players include Kevin Nolan and Alan Smith. They are expected to stay up in 2010.

14. Stoke City. The Potters. Now we’re getting somewhere. My favorite soccer team. The Potters were founded in 1863 and are the second oldest team in British football. 2010 is Stoke’s third consecutive season in the Prem, having returned in 2008 after an absence of 23 years. Stoke has never won the first division, or the FA Cup. Their one domestic honor is the 1972 League Cup. In 1967, however, Stoke did play a season in Cleveland, Ohio, as the Cleveland Stokers. The Stokers featured City legends like World Cup winning goaltender Gordon Banks. A lot of those youngsters formed the core of Stoke’s 1972 League Cup victory, and the team’s time in Cleveland is still acknowledged and celebrated by the team’s faithful. Stoke generally has one of the smallest payrolls in the Prem, but have finished in the middle of the pack in each of the last two years under manager Tony Pulis. Notable players include Rory Delap and Kenwyne Jones. Stoke’s biggest rival is Port Vale (who wear black and gold!), although Vale is currently in the fourth tier of british soccer. Stoke is expected to be a middle tier team again in 2010.

15. Sunderland. The Black Cats. Play their games in “The Stadium of Light.” They last won the First Division in 1936, and won their last FA Cup in 1973 in a massive upset when they were still in the second tier. Their most recent stay in the first division began in 2008. Managed by former Man U star Steve Bruce. Their main rival is Newcastle. Notable players include Darren Bent and the other Andy Reid. Middle to lower tier expected in 2010.

[RIBrownsFan]

16. Tottenham Hotspur. Often shortened to Spurs. After a surprising 4th place finish in 2010, Tottenham is competing in this year’s Champions League playoffs. Located in London, Spurs have been in the first division since 1979. Their most recent trophy is a League Cup win in 2008. They last won the first division in 1961 and the FA Cup in 1991. They are managed by Harry Redknapp, viewed as a turnaround artist and possible future English national team manager. Tottenham has been an upper table team for most of the past 5-6 years. Their main rival is Arsenal. Notable players include Jermain Defoe and Peter Crouch.

17. West Bromwich Albion. West Brom or the Baggies. British Pharaoh’s team. Based in West Bromwich, 2010 marks West Brom’s return to the Prem after a one year absence. West Brom has also been labeled a “yo-yo club” in recent years. The Baggies won the first division in 1920 and last won the FA Cup in 1968. They are managed by Roberto DiMatteo and notable players include Scott Carson and Jonas Olsson. Their rivals include Wolverhampton Wanderers and the Birmingham clubs. They are expected to be a lower tier team in 2010.

18. West Ham United. The Hammers. Based in London and the favorite team of legendary rock band Iron Maiden. Based in London. West Ham has been in the Prem since being promoted in 2006. West Ham has never won the first division, but they have won the FA Cup three times, including in 1975 and 1980. Wear Claret and Blue home jerseys and their anthem is the wonderfully absurd “I’m forever blowing bubbles.” They are managed by Avram Grant, who once went to a brothel in a limo wearing team issued apparel while at his former club, Portsmouth. Notable players include Matthew Upson and Carlton Cole. They have one of the fiercest rivalries in all of British soccer with fellow London club Milwall, who is currently in the second division. Fan related violence often results during their meetings. Expected to be a lower tier team in 2010.

19. Wigan Athletic. Called the “Latics”, which is the British equivalent for “A’s”. Located in Wigan, a suburb of Manchester. Wigan is apparently a rugby town first, but the Lactics have managed to stay in the first division since being promoted to it for the first time ever in 2006. They were founded in 1932, making them the youngest team in the Prem. They are managed by Roberto Martinez, who provided in-studio analysis during ESPN’s 2010 World Cup coverage. Notable players include Gary Caldwell and Charles N’Zogbia. Their rivals include Bolton Wanderers and lower tiered Preston North End. After being drubbed by a combined 10-0 in their first two games of the year, they are expected to be a lower tier club this season.

20. Wolverhampton Wanderers- Wolves. Located in Wolverhampton in the Midlands, they have been playing in their home stadium of Molineux since 1889. Wolves was promoted to the Prem in 2009 and last won the first division title in 1959. Their last FA Cup crown came in 1960. They are managed by former Irish national team manager Mick McCarthy. Like Stoke, they competed in the NASL in 1967 as the Los Angeles Wolves. Notable players include Karl Henry and Jody Craddock. Their main rival is West Brom. Expected to be a lower tier team in 2010.

[British_Pharaoh]

West Brom probably play the most attractive football out of the bottom half of the table calibre teams.

Our midfield is stocked with pacy, skilfull and goalscoring midfielders.

Graham Dorrans being the best player (and voted best player in the Championship last season) Brunt is another exciting player to watch and has always been one of the Championship's outstanding midfielders and has a sublime left foot.
Jerome Thomas is another slick midfielder to watch.
Mulumbu is like a poor man's Makelele but plays the role perfectly though not with quite the consummate skill of the archetype Mr Makelele.

Our forwards are raw but talented. Wood and Cox will spend most of the season coming off the bench. They'll be like our Andy Varejaos. Young, quick, energetic.

Ishmael Miller and Roman Bednar are the main men up front. Both are strong big men who hold up the ball well. Though Miller (the younger) has good speed and before his injury problems looked like he could be a real bargain after coming over from Manchester City.

New striker Odemwingie who scored the winner on his debut looks like a player in the same vein as Miller, though maybe not as strong. He looks like someone who has good control on the ball and a deft touch, mainly comparing him to former Albion forward Diomansy Kamara is more appropriate.