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Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

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Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby motherscratcher » Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:44 am

1. De-thatch your lawn

If you ever even think about de-thatching your lawn, you should do this instead: Go into your bedroom. Find a full length mirror. Stand in front of it with your feet shoulder-width apart. Pound yourself in the nuts with a hard blunt object continuously for 3 minutes. It will hurt less and be over faster.

If a friend or family member ever suggests that you de-thatch your lawn you should do this: Do not hesitate. Do not think. Punch them immediately and squarely in the face as hard as you can. Hit them like you are a Seattle cop. Continue to beat and batter them about the head and neck area for 2 minutes. If they have ever de-thatched their own lawn they will understand that they deserved this. If they have not de-thatched their own lawn they will have learned an important and valuable lesson.

I'm fucking serious.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:39 pm

So are you pro or anti De-Thatching? I can't tell.

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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby FUDU » Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:30 pm

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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Stu » Sat Jun 19, 2010 4:41 pm

power rake from home depot for 4 hours is about 50 bucks. totally worth it.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill » Sat Jun 19, 2010 5:37 pm

You most likely could have hired someone to do it for 75 and had a beer while watching

In any event, buy a new mulching mower and fuhgeddaboudit forever

De-thatching went the way of the 3.5 hp Briggs & Stratton at least 10 yrs ago, unless you need to re-seed. 6hp and up mulchers leave nothing behind and competition and waste disposal fees force the issue

Get a new Toro mulcher and de-thatch no more forever
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby FUDU » Sat Jun 19, 2010 5:50 pm

Not caring is free, just sayin.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby waborat » Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:48 pm

pussy ;-) ;) :wink:
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:30 pm

I have a John Deere, so i'm the best.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby motherscratcher » Sun Jun 20, 2010 10:17 am

waborat wrote:pussy ;-) ;) :wink:


Can't argue with that, unfortunately.

Damn, I was sore for 2 days from that and still have blisters on my hands. I used to be in pretty good shape. What the hell happened to me?

FMB - I sure would have payed $75 and watched if I could have found someone to do it. My neighbor had called around and it seemed like everyone wanted $400 to do it. I should have checked around myself.

As for the Toro, I have a 2 year old Lawnboy that doesn't mulch all that well. That's how all that dead grass got down there to begin with. I pretty much bag everything now, which is a pain in the ass. But I can't justify getting a new mower so soon.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby motherscratcher » Sun Jun 20, 2010 10:22 am



That makes me a sad Panda.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby aoxo1 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 11:28 am

I read on the tubes that thatch is not a result of short clippings from mulching lawn mowers: http://urbanext.illinois.edu/lawnchallenge/lesson5.html
The primary component of thatch is turfgrass stems and roots. It accumulates as these plant parts buildup faster than they breakdown. Thatch problems are due to a combination of biological, cultural, and environmental factors. Cultural practices can have a big impact on thatch. For example, heavy nitrogen fertilizer applications or overwatering frequently contribute to thatch, because they cause the lawn to grow excessively fast. Avoid overfertilizing and overwatering. Despite popular belief, short clippings dropped on the lawn after mowing are not the cause of thatch buildup. Clippings are very high in water content and breakdown rapidly when returned to lawns after mowing, assuming lawns are mowed on a regular basis (not removing more than one-third of the leaf blade).
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Orenthal » Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:33 pm

I don't really much like getting stonewalled on my weekend nights...
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby FUDU » Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:39 pm

I own a Neuton battery powered mower, courtesy of you guys, thanks to the tax rebates from GWB. It will have paid for itself sometime next summer in the third year I've owned it.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill » Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:14 pm

Motherscratcher wrote:
waborat wrote:pussy ;-) ;) :wink:


Can't argue with that, unfortunately.

Damn, I was sore for 2 days from that and still have blisters on my hands. I used to be in pretty good shape. What the hell happened to me?

FMB - I sure would have payed $75 and watched if I could have found someone to do it. My neighbor had called around and it seemed like everyone wanted $400 to do it. I should have checked around myself.

As for the Toro, I have a 2 year old Lawnboy that doesn't mulch all that well. That's how all that dead grass got down there to begin with. I pretty much bag everything now, which is a pain in the ass. But I can't justify getting a new mower so soon.


Sell the Lawn Boy to FUDU when his electric one dies next year

Then buy a Toro

...and don't listen to CDT either...John Deeres are crap and thankfully, "nothing else runs like a Deere"
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:22 pm

Ahahahaha. "John Deere are crap".

Mine is 22 years old and has never had anything done but basic maitenance.

They're the best, it's a fact. It can't be disputed.

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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill » Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:04 pm

It was made in Japan ya know?

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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:19 pm

I don't care if it was made on Phobos.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby FUDU » Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:27 pm

LOL, FMB, what exactly is going to happen to mine that will make it die? It's battery powered, and I know enough about batteries to rig up a non OEM battery to make it run if by some odd chance I couldn't get an OEM battery. Plus plastic doesn't rust.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill » Sun Jun 20, 2010 6:25 pm

FUDU wrote:LOL, FMB, what exactly is going to happen to mine that will make it die? It's battery powered, and I know enough about batteries to rig up a non OEM battery to make it run if by some odd chance I couldn't get an OEM battery. Plus plastic doesn't rust.


Yeah forgot you worked on Neutron...... but you know I'm just fucking with ya...how many volts? String or blade?

Phobos.....sounds galactical

That anywhere near Neutron where FUDU goes to buy mowers no one else ever heard of?
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby FUDU » Sun Jun 20, 2010 6:54 pm

Blade, and enough amps to spin that blade fast enough to kill.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:45 am

FUDU wrote:Blade, and enough amps to spin that blade fast enough to kill.


You ever seen the electric car drag race vid?

Dude has a little beat up piece of shit with batteries in the trunk. Goes to the track and dusts every car he runs against. Leaves hemis and Vettes at the gate and beats 'em by at least half the track

And IIRC that was with standard batteries which he was changing to lithium
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:49 pm

Here's some advice on what not to do ever: Don't stick your finger in a cigar cutter because you're drunk and your friend says "hey stick your finger in here".

Playing on the roof might sound like fun when you're drunk, it's not.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby FUDU » Mon Jun 21, 2010 2:05 pm

Fire Marshall Bill wrote:
FUDU wrote:Blade, and enough amps to spin that blade fast enough to kill.


You ever seen the electric car drag race vid?

Dude has a little beat up piece of shit with batteries in the trunk. Goes to the track and dusts every car he runs against. Leaves hemis and Vettes at the gate and beats 'em by at least half the track

And IIRC that was with standard batteries which he was changing to lithium

They are becoming more and more common place at tracks. I've toyed with the idea of turning my daily driver into an electric drag car, (since it is getting beat up and I could use a new ride) instead of getting an electric daily driver. A real kicker is the high torque to low RPM launch you can do with an electric car as a opposed to a gas engine. Seeing some of these electric cars take off is mind boggling.
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby Fire Marshall Bill » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:27 pm

FUDU wrote:
Fire Marshall Bill wrote:
FUDU wrote:Blade, and enough amps to spin that blade fast enough to kill.


You ever seen the electric car drag race vid?

Dude has a little beat up piece of shit with batteries in the trunk. Goes to the track and dusts every car he runs against. Leaves hemis and Vettes at the gate and beats 'em by at least half the track

And IIRC that was with standard batteries which he was changing to lithium

They are becoming more and more common place at tracks. I've toyed with the idea of turning my daily driver into an electric drag car, (since it is getting beat up and I could use a new ride) instead of getting an electric daily driver. A real kicker is the high torque to low RPM launch you can do with an electric car as a opposed to a gas engine. Seeing some of these electric cars take off is mind boggling.


That was the other thing. No smoking tires.

Just a green light and gone. Like an HO race set
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Re: Things Not To Do On Your Day Off

Unread postby motherscratcher » Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:19 pm

So I says to myself I says: "Self, you have the whole day to do something productive. It's the middle of June and about to be 90 degrees for the next month. What would be a good thing for you to get done?"

"I know, I'll de-thatch the lawn!"

lawn1.jpg
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lawn2.jpg
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