Can your wife be your best friend?

[Ziner]

Tripods got me re-thinking this from his post in the Valentines thread. They were talking about this on Denver Sports talk because someone won a trip for 2 to the SB with the radio hosts and he decided he was bringing his wife. He backed it up by saying that his wife was his best friend and the host, Alfred Williams former Bronco and actually one of the best sportstalk guys on the NFL I have heard, said this dude was nuts because your wife can not be your best friend. Your wife is your wife, and I agree. Different dynamics to me, wife is wife, best friend is your best friend. I know one thing, if I won tickets to the SB to party with a former NFL'er and attend the maxim party, my best friend would be going, not my wife.

Am I just too newly married? Old (experienced ) guys set me straight or back me up

Thoughts?

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Impossible.

Wives are seperate from friends.

Although one could argue that if you stick your dick in it, it's your best friend.

[motherscratcher]

Wife does not equal best friend. I love my wife, and I really really like her too. But she's not my best friend. Those are different.

CDT - I don't consider mashed potatoes and similar items my best friend either.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Wife does not equal best friend. I love my wife, and I really really like her too. But she's not my best friend. Those are different.

CDT - I don't consider mashed potatoes and similar items my best friend either.

I will never be eating at your house.

[FUDU]

I can tell you right now if my dick is anywhere near my best friend I am getting a right hook to the jaw in no less than 2.5 seconds.

BUT I do know couples that are married and ARE best friends, those couples seem to have a very unique marriage and seem quite happy.

Like anything else it can work both ways I suppose.

[StewieG]

I think this question can only be answered on a case-by-case basis. Some couples are each other's best friends. I'd say the majority are not. All depends on the personalities of the two people.

[skatingtripods]

Glad I got you thinking, Z-Man.

In most cases, probably not. I know two of my hockey playing friends who are in shit marriages and likely would be out if not for the kids in the picture.

When you take in to account that most of my friends are at least 5 years older than me, and many of them are spread far and wide across the continent, it's pretty easy to make Jennifer my best friend. My other really good friends span from St. John's, Newfoundland to Fairport, NY to Tempe, AZ to Troy, MI to South Hadley, MA. I fell out of touch with many of my good friends from HS and my two best college roommates are elsewhere. One is in Troy, MI, the other is somewhere training as a United States Marine.

My two best hockey playing friends around here are both 40. Those are the guys in the shit marriages. My best friend from HS is at BG and I see him once or twice a month, this after we hadn't talked for about 3 years.

When my fiancee moved here from South Carolina back in '06, she didn't know anybody but me. Most of her college roommates turned out to be bitches. Her best friend here is probably my 16 year old niece. You can imagine how much they really have in common.

So it just kind of worked out that way based on circumstance, plus we both had traumatic events involving our sisters and that made us really close from the start.

[Stu]

whats the definition of a best friend? if its the person you want to hang out with the most, then yea, my wife is my best friend.

[WarAdmiral]

When the sex gets stale, if the marriage is going to last, than they had better be best or very, very good friends.

[Guest]

This might be one of the most laughable topics I've ever seen here.

To not believe your wife can be your best friend indicates one of two things.

1. You are married to the wrong person.

or

2. You are too young and stupid to realize what you have.

[Toxicadam]

That's kind of narrow-minded Mitch. It's quite possible to still live in your old neighborhood, among your old friends and marry a local girl. It's what most of our father's did and I bet most of them wouldn't call our mom their "best friend".

Now it's more common because people move away from home and women are on a more equal footing to men. Also, people marry later in life so they have already broke away from their high school/college friends. Maybe it's a reason why getting married so young doesn't work.

[Ziner]

This might be one of the most laughable topics I've ever seen here.

To not believe your wife can be your best friend indicates one of two things.

1. You are married to the wrong person.

or

2. You are too young and stupid to realize what you have.

Condescending marriage comments work better coming from someone who isn't previously divorced. Forgive the dickness but you had no problems ripping me or my marriage. IMO there is a very distinct difference between the duties of a best friend and a wife, you apparently think that is laughable. I love my wife very much and we are very close but I had my best friend before my wife and in my life they play different roles.

[Ziner]

To be fair, perhaps I should have worded with "should" or "is" instead of "can".

[Cerebral_DownTime]

This might be one of the most laughable topics I've ever seen here.

To not believe your wife can be your best friend indicates one of two things.

1. You are married to the wrong person.

or

2. You are too young and stupid to realize what you have.

lol. Shit....... Talk about laughable.

My wife is not and cannot be my best friend. She outranks all of my friends.

I also don't fall into either of these stupid ass catagories you espoused. I know I married the right person, been with her for over a decade and i'm 28. I sure as hell know what I have that's the whole goddamn point to marrying her.

[Fire Marshall Bill]

This might be one of the most laughable topics I've ever seen here.

To not believe your wife can be your best friend indicates one of two things.

1. You are married to the wrong person.

or

2. You are too young and stupid to realize what you have.

LOFL.....RACK IT!

Young, dumb, and full of cum...

Tell em, Mitch...its got nothing to do with the fact you're on what #4?

I've been married 35yrs, have 3 sons older than most people here and he's dead nuts on

Get back to us when you're 40 and all your friends are becomming best friends with their wives and kids

[Erie Warrior]

whats the definition of a best friend?

This is the place to start. What is required of a best friend?
- Always there to help you, no matter what
- Will listen without judging
- Celebrates your achievements, consoles your failures
- Accepts you for who you are (good and bad), doesn't ask you to change

I would say the wife and the best friend do all of these things, so my response would be yes. Personally my wife has watched sporting events, gone to nudy bars, picked me up from jail (several times), and gone golfing and fishing with me so, personally, she is. I also believe the addition of children will strengthen that relationship, from a support standpoint alone. It's takes a village, right, so the importance of your wife, as a mother, cannot be overstated.

There is some truth to what Mitch says as well. IMO if your wife doesn't do all of the above things (not necessarily the nudy/ fishing/ golf/ sports stuff) then you may have chosen the wrong person.

[mswerb]

Got your wife to a nudy bar, NICE!

[Cerebral_DownTime]

EW's check list.

watched sporting events- Check she goes to all the OSU games I go to, she's been to a couple dozen Indians games, several Browns and Blue Jackets games.

gone to nudy bars- still working on that

picked me up from jail- Somehow i've avoided jail, but I know she would if I landed there so Check

and gone golfing and fishing - I hate golfing so that doesn't matter, she has gone fishing with me several times. Check.

[FUDU]

Damn Mitch I thought you had a following on this site, is this the first time these people have ever read you or what.

Funny stuff guys.

[hermanfontenot]

Just a guess, but I'd bet if you posed the question to married women you'd get a higher concentration of "yes" answers than from men. Women seem a lot quicker to move away from their female friends when they find the man they want than men do with their male friends when they find the woman they want. Not for nothing, just an observation.

[Guest]

Damn Mitch I thought you had a following on this site, is this the first time these people have ever read you or what.

Funny stuff guys.

I have been behaving myself for a long time...figured it was time to channel my long-dormant DoW for a post.

(Besides...someone has to give E0y a LITTLE competiton for NHB Dick of the Month Award).

And yes...BOTH of my "conditions" would apply to me...one for each ex-wife.

Been with the 'current' one for going on 10 years now. Pity it took me so long to figure it out, but I'm glad that I finally did.

[Erie Warrior]

Women seem a lot quicker to move away from their female friends when they find the man they want

They know women are bitches as well.

[hermanfontenot]

They know women are bitches as well.

Come to think of it, I've heard a lot more women than men make this statement.

[Ziner]

whats the definition of a best friend?

This is the place to start. What is required of a best friend?
- Always there to help you, no matter what
- Will listen without judging
- Celebrates your achievements, consoles your failures
- Accepts you for who you are (good and bad), doesn't ask you to change

I would say the wife and the best friend do all of these things, so my response would be yes. Personally my wife has watched sporting events, gone to nudy bars, picked me up from jail (several times), and gone golfing and fishing with me so, personally, she is. I also believe the addition of children will strengthen that relationship, from a support standpoint alone. It's takes a village, right, so the importance of your wife, as a mother, cannot be overstated.

Always there. Check
Listen with out judging... depends what I did
Celebrates achievements. Check
Accepts me. Check
Sporting Events. Steeler fan, but Check
Nudy Bar. Check (damn its fun)
Jail. Been lucky never been... yet
Golfing. Got a BJ in the golf cart, double check.

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

[motherscratcher]

wait...who were you golfing with again?

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Golfing. Got a BJ in the golf cart, double check.

Man.... That John Daly sure has fallen from grace.

[Erie Warrior]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

[Ziner]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

The ability to bitch about my wife when needed, marital advice from an outside perspective, among other things. I think it is hard to lay out in words the relationship differences between my wife and my best friend (besides the obvious). My wife is my wife, my best friend is my best friend. Known him for twice as long as my wife. Its not like it is some dude I just started hanging out with. Give me some more time to contemplate this so I can better lay out the roles in my life of each of them.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

You've got it backwards. The question should be "What does a wife provide that a friend does not or could not?"

[Stu]

The ability to bitch about my wife when needed, marital advice from an outside perspective, among other things.

You can bitch to your wife about your best friend when he's being an idiot as well. Marital advice can come from any friend, doesnt have a to be a best friend.


merriam webster says the definition of a friend is:

"one attached to another by affection or esteem"

the "best friend" would be the 1 person who you are attached to by affection or esteem with the most.



the dictionary makes this question simple. wife.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

lol. "Merriam Webster says".

[motherscratcher]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

You've got it backwards. The question should be "What does a wife provide that a friend does not or could not?"

That's right. Best friends do NOT supply the vageen.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

You've got it backwards. The question should be "What does a wife provide that a friend does not or could not?"

That's right. Best friends do NOT supply the vageen.

lol. That's why you da man MS. You get to the meat of the issue.

But....... It's more than that. My wife provides more than my fiends, that's why I said she outranks them. I consider myself lucky to have her. How many women would want 5 rowdy guys and their broads in their house? Having them over was her idea.

Wife > Best friend.

[Stu]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

You've got it backwards. The question should be "What does a wife provide that a friend does not or could not?"

That's right. Best friends do NOT supply the vageen.

lol. That's why you da man MS. You get to the meat of the issue.

But....... It's more than that. My wife provides more than my fiends, that's why I said she outranks them. I consider myself lucky to have her. How many women would want 5 rowdy guys and their broads in their house? Having them over was her idea.

Wife > Best friend.

you say she outranks your friends, which would make her your best friend.

then you say she is better than your best friend.

confused

[Ziner]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

You've got it backwards. The question should be "What does a wife provide that a friend does not or could not?"

That's right. Best friends do NOT supply the vageen.

lol. That's why you da man MS. You get to the meat of the issue.

But....... It's more than that. My wife provides more than my fiends, that's why I said she outranks them. I consider myself lucky to have her. How many women would want 5 rowdy guys and their broads in their house? Having them over was her idea.

Wife > Best friend.

you say she outranks your friends, which would make her your best friend.

then you say she is better than your best friend.

confused

Because they are different. Thats how, go look it up in Websters and see what he has to say about it.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Great woman, love her a lot, but my best friend still has a role and my wife is a great friend, just not my best friend.

Ok, so what does your best friend do or provide that the wife does not or would not? Did I leave something off my "best friend requirement" list? I couldn't think of anything else.

You've got it backwards. The question should be "What does a wife provide that a friend does not or could not?"

That's right. Best friends do NOT supply the vageen.

lol. That's why you da man MS. You get to the meat of the issue.

But....... It's more than that. My wife provides more than my fiends, that's why I said she outranks them. I consider myself lucky to have her. How many women would want 5 rowdy guys and their broads in their house? Having them over was her idea.

Wife > Best friend.

you say she outranks your friends, which would make her your best friend.

then you say she is better than your best friend.

confused

lol.

My wife is seperate from my friends. Just like I consider my brother seperate from my friends.

A wife serves different purposes.

Honestly, I don't really like the term "best friend". I don't rank my friends, one isn't better than the others.

[Stu]

Because they are different. Thats how, go look it up in Websters and see what he has to say about it.

I'll look up Dick first.

[Stu]

looks like there is no concensus to this conversation.

some people group everyone together, some people distinguish between friends, coworkers, spouses, etc.

your answer will depend on which group you belong to.

[Shadow Scars]

My wife is my best friend but I still wouldn't take her to anything related to football lol.

[municipalmutt]

It's all about commitment. Beware of women that say they want things 50/50. That's code for they want half of your shit while keeping half of theirs. Best friends are 50/50 committed. Wives need to be 100% and so should you.

[jb]

Fine line brethren, fine line.

I've seen up close what delusional excuses about seperate interets and little time together being healthy turn into seperate lives and then morph into an epic fail relationship that can't be seen except in hindsight. So to suggest you shouldn't enjoy each others' comapany more than any other's is a crutch covering up an unhealthy marriage. OTOH, in Cosmo, and yeah, I love stealing Angela's Cosmos for ''scouting reports" on the fun part of the fairer sex, there was a great piece on how big of a mistake it is when women take this "best friend" thing to an extreme, and how it basically immasculates men and makes us fuckin' miserable.

The Greeks had the whole golden mean thing down millennia ago. This is just one more case.

[FUDU]

The real question is can your wife be your best friend if she is a Steeler fan? Or Wolverine fan.