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Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

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Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby noles1 » Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:30 pm

If you enjoy Podcasts, I implore you to grudginly plow thru MTV's Jersey Shore just for the sheer enjoyment of listening to Bill Simmons Podcast with "Reality Czar" Dave Jacoby today.

Multiple pausing had to take place to regain composure and listening attention.

There analysis of this abortion of a show was spot on and simply epic to listen too.

I am going to have to continue watching the show just to listen to future Podcasts. That and I want to see this episode where the stupid, drunk bitch gets punched.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Triple-S » Mon Dec 07, 2009 11:52 pm

I saw clips of the show being made fun on "The Soup" and was just amazed that guidos have their own show now. My first thoughts that came to mind was this amazing sketch.



(and the other one that's funny, but sort of ripped off of polk and co.)



also, wow, from a wiki entry

more specifically the town of Seaside Heights, where they live in a common living space and help to run a t-shirt store. The show plays upon the stereotype of the guido, prompting criticism from groups such as the National Italian American Foundation and from some people living in the area.

Domino's Pizza recently pulled their commercials from airing during the show, citing "One of the ads happened to show up and once we saw what the program was, we decided that the content wasn't in keeping with what we're all about," Tim McIntyre, the company's vice president of communications
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:32 am

Of course I watched Jersey Shore and of course my leg is tingly about playing through the podcast in question today.

So excited.

While my school wasn't overrun by Jersey Shore style guidos we had more than are fair share on the sports teams (intermittent w/ your other douchebags, be it rich Up State NYers or Long Island Queens. The show was a nice refresher for me, reminds me of any visit I've taken to Philly w/ my boy Gooch as well.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Cease » Tue Dec 08, 2009 10:53 am

As a long time Shore goer, I need to defend my turf. Note that this show features the cultural stylings of a single North Jersey shorepoint (Seaside Heights), not South Jersey (where I vacation yearly).

The New Jersey mockery will continue in irony as it's typically New Yorkers who vacation in North Jersey... and then turn around and mock New Jersey. South Jersey shorepoints are typically inhabited by Philadephia peeps. So, don't let this show fool you. The Jersey Shore is a great, great, family oriented vacation spot- if you find the right shorepoint. My advice is to stay south of Atlantic City- Sea Isle, Avalon, Cape May- all great summer time spots.

Side BS note: The podcast is good, and I've officially supplanted morning drive talk with the BS report. Wish me luck.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Tue Dec 08, 2009 10:56 am

Jersey shore was fantastic, but fantastic like no other show I can think of. It is unfathomable that those people can have the level of douchiness that they do, I will continue watching because of the pure humor. It is basically the real world with guys who are even bigger chaches and women who are even more slutty, what is not to like. I will definitely check this out this afternoon.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby swerb » Tue Dec 08, 2009 10:58 am

I can't let Simmons suck me in to watching this show. I'm fighting it hard. Also heard snippets from Opie, Anthony, and Jim Elliot talking about it yesterday.

I almost caved last night. I prolly would have if my fantasy football game wasn't hindering on GB/Bal.

Need. To. Stay. Strong.

And Cease ... all the good podcasts out there, just no need for FM/AM anymore.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby noles1 » Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:51 am

Swerb wrote:I can't let Simmons suck me in to watching this show. I'm fighting it hard. Also heard snippets from Opie, Anthony, and Jim Elliot talking about it yesterday.

I almost caved last night. I prolly would have if my fantasy football game wasn't hindering on GB/Bal.

Need. To. Stay. Strong.

And Cease ... all the good podcasts out there, just no need for FM/AM anymore.



Swerb... you go to this link and you are done. D-U-N...

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/20 ... shore.html

My favorites:

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"I love the Situation." —Mike "the Situation"


The show sets mankind back years. I mean, all this talk about 2012 and shit like that, this show will be the death of civilization if it spurns multiple seasons. At the very least the jacuzzi at the house will create the next H1N1 virus or worldwide pandemic.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Tue Dec 08, 2009 11:54 am

noles1 wrote:
"I feel like this is beneath me. I'm a bartender. I do great things." —Angelina "Jolie"


I fell off the couch when I heard that. Amazing.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby DrPoove » Tue Dec 08, 2009 12:17 pm

Great now I am gonna have to watch this sh!t show, too. :bag:

That Simmons podcast was priceless. :lmfao:
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Jumbo » Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:09 pm

Listening to that podcast was enough to convince me to watch this show. And I'm not really into reality...but this just sounds too funny to miss.

And Jersey Shore vs. North Shore would be the greatest thing ever.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:21 pm

Jumbo wrote:Listening to that podcast was enough to convince me to watch this show. And I'm not really into reality...but this just sounds too funny to miss.

And Jersey Shore vs. North Shore would be the greatest thing ever.


True that.

Revere v. Seaside would make my life.

And Cease, while some parts of the Jersey shore are actually okay, Philly and the south shore suck as much if not more than the northern Jersey shore, don't play that game when peeps who know this well are around here.

*and I am not saying that there are not nice oasis's amongst the guido masses
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Cease » Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:44 pm

True, the Shore should never be compared to the Bahamas, or the Carolinas for that matter. So the whole thing could "suck" en masse, as judgements go.

Having said that, I think there is a pretty noticeable difference between the New York-facing Northern New Jersey and the Philly-facing Southern New Jersey. Northern Jersey is much more densely populated and industrial, plus you've got all of those Yankee's fans. South Jersey outside Philly to the SSE can be down right rural. On the down side, Philly/South Jersey has an inferiority complex that dwarfs Cleveland's.

From what I've seen, the North Jersey/New York uber-guido crowd doesn't trek much further than Atlantic City. Resulting in a slightly lower guido ratio for each shore point south through Delaware. I think that's a valid opinion and I'll stick to it.

Back to this show... I'm going to wait for a surprise lazy Saturday MTV marathon over the winter and digest the whole thing with my South Jersey wife. It's like a self-buried treasure.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:49 pm

I've spent enough time w/ enough guidos (nicknamed things like Gooch) that have shore houses outside of Philly to know that you are speaking from a very regional biases.

That said, in my mind Philly and all of Jersey should just be nuked (well, there are some decent suburban communities if you look real hard, but collateral damage and stuff).
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby mrburns » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:58 pm

I listened to the podcast yesterday, so naturally I had to check it out. I'm about halfway through the first episode, and I'm speechless.

We all know "that guy." This is a whole town of "that guy." This show is hysterical, and needs to be presented as Exhibit A for instituting retroactive abortion.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby StewieG » Tue Dec 08, 2009 9:59 pm

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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:49 am

Never heard the word 'guidette' before.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:58 am

aoxo1 wrote:Never heard the word 'guidette' before.


Dude, hilarious. Love the new favorite and least favorite players, wish I would have thought of it. I would have gone with Snooki for least favorite though. Nothing worse than a fat guidette that gets sloppy when drunk.

p.s. please explain the avatar
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:18 pm

Ziner wrote:
aoxo1 wrote:Never heard the word 'guidette' before.


Dude, hilarious. Love the new favorite and least favorite players, wish I would have thought of it. I would have gone with Snooki for least favorite though. Nothing worse than a fat guidette that gets sloppy when drunk.

p.s. please explain the avatar

I like flapjacks and space.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:23 pm

aoxo1 wrote:
Ziner wrote:
aoxo1 wrote:Never heard the word 'guidette' before.


Dude, hilarious. Love the new favorite and least favorite players, wish I would have thought of it. I would have gone with Snooki for least favorite though. Nothing worse than a fat guidette that gets sloppy when drunk.

p.s. please explain the avatar

I like flapjacks and space.


Real maple syrup or the hungry jack artifical stuff?
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:28 pm

Ziner wrote:
aoxo1 wrote:
Ziner wrote:
aoxo1 wrote:Never heard the word 'guidette' before.


Dude, hilarious. Love the new favorite and least favorite players, wish I would have thought of it. I would have gone with Snooki for least favorite though. Nothing worse than a fat guidette that gets sloppy when drunk.

p.s. please explain the avatar

I like flapjacks and space.


Real maple syrup or the hungry jack artifical stuff?

Real. No contest.

Although I am partial to the blueberry at IHOP.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:31 am

Ziner wrote:
aoxo1 wrote:Never heard the word 'guidette' before.


Dude, hilarious. Love the new favorite and least favorite players, wish I would have thought of it. I would have gone with Snooki for least favorite though. Nothing worse than a fat guidette that gets sloppy when drunk.

p.s. please explain the avatar

How can you hate on a girl who services a pickle and says she likes to suck all the juice out first, while wearing a hat that says "Porn star in training", and then complains the guys are making jokes?
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Larvell Blanks » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:21 am

I hate Simmons and I hate all of you who've contributed to this thread. I DVR'd Jersey Shore and finally watched it this weekend. my morbid curiosity won out.


I'm hooked!


Any show that makes me do this ::doh:: MULTIPLE times in a 2 hour period definitley gets set up for recording.

I can still smell the Drakkar, hair gel, and Neutrogena Micro Mist Tanning spray
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby swerb » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:42 am

Larvell Blanks wrote:I hate Simmons and I hate all of you who've contributed to this thread. I DVR'd Jersey Shore and finally watched it this weekend. my morbid curiosity won out.


I'm hooked!


Any show that makes me do this ::doh:: MULTIPLE times in a 2 hour period definitley gets set up for recording.

I can still smell the Drakkar, hair gel, and Neutrogena Micro Mist Tanning spray

What Larvell said.

Assholes.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Jumbo » Tue Dec 15, 2009 2:34 pm

Watched the first two episodes now...this show is the bastard child of the sluttier Real World seasons and the more insane episodes of True Life.

Result: :pop:

I'm also reminded of Klosterman's essay wherein he writes that the Real World morphed modern culture such that people are more conscious of their RW-defined character role based on their background, ethnicity, etc., and subconsciously emulate that role. I suppose Jersey Shore is what happens when you advance three reality generations past the original Real World, collect a set of people who all occupy the same role, and then regurgitate it back in front of the camera.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:53 pm

MTV may have just hung itself and ended Jersey Shore's run.

My boy Gooch (a Jersey Shore Guido from Philly himself) is calling for a boycott of the show and I have gotten several emails saying the same from other sources after MTV pussed out and blacked out the footage of Sooki getting decked. MTV has even started a Youtube crusade to get it removed.

Guy who decks her is a drunk gym teacher from NYC that is using the age old "I was blacked out" excuse.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby noles1 » Sat Dec 19, 2009 2:31 pm

That episode was incredible.

For as sucky as these people can be, that shit was funny as hell. The wingman stuff, the "grenade", the "bomb defusing", The Situation constantly looking in the camera, them using the Shore House as their playground... Just terrific.

It's like they aren't even in on the joke, that's what makes it so compelling.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Sat Dec 19, 2009 2:53 pm

Image

Oh and just about any clip from the episode is here:

http://jezebel.com/5429792/jersey-shore ... not-snooki
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby StewieG » Sat Dec 19, 2009 8:59 pm

This may be the greatest show in the history of television. Fantastic stuff. The wingman bit seemed like it belongs on a show like "The Office"...but it's real.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Sat Dec 19, 2009 9:10 pm

Not sure what was so awesome about the whole wingman/grenade bit. Common usage.

That said, Snooki is the only girl on the show that is funny at all. Both Sammi and JWOWW suck and are boring as shit.

It's also hilarious to see these guys struggling to hook up with any chicks, despite all their bluster and their ridiculous set up.

Show is getting boring, though. First ep was the funniest; most of the stuff in the most recent ep doesn't even have that car wreck quality to it (except Snooki).
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:55 am

I think they are working on a one fight per show average. JWOWW's clothes alone are reason enough to watch that show...very classy
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:02 am

That's why I don't eat lobster. They're alive when you kill it.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby jb » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:13 pm

WTF is up with the house turning on The Situation?

Look, Snooki is fat. They need to deal, not deny.

The men on the show are dooshbag morons, to be sure. Vinny maybe the least of all.

But the women are complete pains in the asses.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:24 pm

JB wrote:WTF is up with the house turning on The Situation?

Look, Snooki is fat. They need to deal, not deny.

The men on the show are dooshbag morons, to be sure. Vinny maybe the least of all.

But the women are complete pains in the asses.


I actually hate Sammi at this point.

She's hot as hell but needs a quick boot to the head.

And The Situation should be hated. Talks all the talk but never walks the walk. And watching Snooki get decked and not dropping that guy is unforgivable. Ronnie should have beat his fucking ass for that. Three feet away, drunk douche hits girl you are w/ and you stare at the ground? Fuck that. That's anti guy code and breaks the guido code.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby jb » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:31 pm

e0y2e3 wrote:
JB wrote:WTF is up with the house turning on The Situation?

Look, Snooki is fat. They need to deal, not deny.

The men on the show are dooshbag morons, to be sure. Vinny maybe the least of all.

But the women are complete pains in the asses.


I actually hate Sammi at this point.

She's hot as hell but needs a quick boot to the head.

And The Situation should be hated. Talks all the talk but never walks the walk. And watching Snooki get decked and not dropping that guy is unforgivable. Ronnie should have beat his fucking ass for that. Three feet away, drunk douche hits girl you are w/ and you stare at the ground? Fuck that. That's anti guy code and breaks the guido code.


It is possible that a) he was stunned. NOT somethig you see every day.

b) Snookie is such a mouthy pain in the ass, he had a moment. Then he figured it out.

The Situation isn't a tough guy. He's a playa. And a dooshbag. But he's such a dooshbag on a metaphysically perfect level you have to stare in awe. Plus, their all compete and totl dooshbags, so why single him out.

Sick of Ronnie. He's boring. Sammi sucks, too.

Pauley D, The Situation, and Snookie are the only ones who mk ethat show bearable.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:44 pm

Because The Situation (if you look at his face it wasn't stunned) left a chick out to dry.

Because The Situation cannot close to save his life but talks like he can.

Because The Situation, while great effing TV is the worst of the bunch. Show wouldn't work w/ out him, but IRL he is the worst, he's beyond guido, he's just a forgery that I suspect more and more designed his character for nothing more than making great TV. At least all the others are being themselves (beyond Snooki).

Ronnie is fine. He's just a dude that is boring, whatever.

Pauly is your perfect guido. Guy would have rolled in my boy Gooch's crew when they summered on the shore. He's not acting, not playing, just a lovable dumb ass guido. Would have no issues chilling w/ Pauly.

Vinny is a real italian even more so than a guido. Love the guy. Would have been his boy.

The chicks are fantastically crazy (J WOWWW and Snooki) as are guidettes. Granted they both take the stereotypes too far, but whatever, it is still good for drama.

Christ, you live in Y-Town, watch Italian couples mouth off at each other and the fight that ensues, that shit is Snooki.

Ronnie beat the fuck out of that shore douche, good for him, 100 stars.

The Situation, fucker rolls around as a charicature that can't even get laid on the Shore. Guy is 100% fake, guy sucks. Show needs him, but he is the only one IRL I would love to kick in the teeth. Well him and Sammi, but Sammi just screams self esteem issues of the bulimic 8th grader variety.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Larvell Blanks » Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:26 pm

e0y2e3 wrote:And The Situation should be hated. Talks all the talk but never walks the walk. And watching Snooki get decked and not dropping that guy is unforgivable. Ronnie should have beat his fucking ass for that. Three feet away, drunk douche hits girl you are w/ and you stare at the ground? Fuck that. That's anti guy code and breaks the guido code.


Have you seen any of these guys throw a punch? Pauly trying to punch someone at Bamboo looked like he was throwing a purse over his shoulder. Ronnie didn't do any real damage until he was on top of that guy, throwin' 'bows MMA style. The Situation? Please. Vinnie looks like he could scrap if he wanted to because, as stated above, he's not a guid, just a good Italian boy. I've just never seen a bunch of "tough guys" fight like their in a WNBA brawl. Of course I haven't been down to West Sixth for years either.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:16 pm

In the end, we're all "only for a limited time," you guys.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby aoxo1 » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:41 pm

e0y2e3 wrote:Because The Situation cannot close to save his life but talks like he can.

This is the best part of the show.

Besides, of course, Snookie and how every week she breaks into tears about how the other roommates finally get and accept her.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby jb » Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:48 pm

aoxo1 wrote:
e0y2e3 wrote:Because The Situation cannot close to save his life but talks like he can.

This is the best part of the show.

Besides, of course, Snookie and how every week she breaks into tears about how the other roommates finally get and accept her.




:thumb up: :thumb up: :thumb up: :thumb up: :thumb up: :thumb up:

+ Pauley D's wig.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby rebelwithoutaclue » Fri Jan 15, 2010 2:40 pm

Ronnie: Me 'n Sammie decided to leave. It was 4 o'clock and we got there at like 12. Five hours is a long time.
Fuck the Browns...
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby biscuitsandgrady » Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:55 pm

I vacation to the Jersey Shore every year, but not Seaside Heights which is where the MTV show is set in. My parents and I go further down to Cape May where no one is orange or has glue for hair gel and you are surrounded by Victorian homes.

The show is amusing as I go to college with many girls who are like that and some guys too. Orange and gelled up! Such as life for living in the tristate area.

Best part of the show for me is the embarrassment of watching the girls wear clothes that are 5 sizes too small for them, especially Jwoww and her ferociously bad boobjob.

Keep up the GTL!
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:07 pm

This dude should be castrated. I don't care how stupid or drunk a chick is, this is fucked up.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe7V85lA-bI&feature=related[/youtube]
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby biscuitsandgrady » Fri Jan 15, 2010 11:06 pm

Cerebral_DownTime wrote:This dude should be castrated. I don't care how stupid or drunk a chick is, this is fucked up.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe7V85lA-bI&feature=related[/youtube]


The only time hitting girls should be allowed on this show is when Jwoww hit The Situation in the club and hotel room.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby e0y2e3 » Sat Jan 16, 2010 3:35 pm

I'm pretty sure Ronnie dropped that dude just because LB had to talk shit.

And I could watch a solid two straight hours of Snookie talking about being a vet. She owns like three of the five best quotes of the show and they are almost all tied to the vet thing.

I'm pretty sure this show has caused a few hundy strokes in english teachers globally.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby rebelwithoutaclue » Wed Jan 27, 2010 10:54 am

Simmons recap of Jersey Shore is up now.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby jordan kramer » Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:33 pm

great stuff
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby jb » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:04 am

Be completely honest...

You are unemcumbered; no gf at home, no wife.

You are somewhere between 10 and 20 sunk down.

It is 1:30 am and you have no other prospects.

Would you do Snookie?
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby Ziner » Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:06 am

its baaaaaack

http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2010/02/s ... rsey-shore

But not at the Jersey Shore this year, guess they are going with the fish out of water deal.

http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmusic ... wed-201012

and once again the guido officials are pissed.
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby jb » Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:36 am

Ziner wrote:its baaaaaack

http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2010/02/s ... rsey-shore

But not at the Jersey Shore this year, guess they are going with the fish out of water deal.

http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmusic ... wed-201012

and once again the guido officials are pissed.


In what episode will Ronnie beat down The Situation?
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Re: Simmons Podcast (Jersey Shore)

Unread postby pup » Tue Feb 02, 2010 12:13 pm

West Bank!!!!
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