by OldDawg » Sat Aug 21, 2010 8:47 pm
I treaded on road rage today, maybe for the first time ever....
RUDE INTERSECTION BLOCKERS
1) I approach an intersection from a side street to turn left onto a suburban main street.
2) A train 1/4 mi down the road to my right has traffic backed up past that intersection.
3) ROAD RAGE #1: Two cars are blocking the intersection. Traffic is not moving. There is NO traffic on the opposite lane. I am ticked and stare into those cars blocking the intersection, who complety ignore my existence. I sit and simmer. All the cars behind those cars can see me sitting there. Isn't there a law against blocking intersections, let alone common courtesy!
4) The train leaves, and the traffic in front of me crawls ahead less than 20 feet and stops dead. The two cars in the intersection clear the intersection. Yes! Time to move.
5) ROAD RAGE #2: The next car in line, who has seen me the whole time sitting there, pulls right up behind the clearing cars and immediately blocks the lane again. I beep my horn. They look at me and I raise my arms in a "what the heck are you doing?" mode. After their brief glance, they proceed to look ahead and ignore my existence. Please understand that now my beep should have alerted any other cars that I am there, just in case someone has their head up their butt.
6) ROAD RAGE #3: The traffic creeps up just a touch more than one car length and stops, but enough to clear the intersection. But you guessed it. The next car in line immediately pulls up behind, blocking again the intersection... and stops dead in its tracks. They don't even glance my way.
7) REAL ROAD RAGE NOW: I Snap. I get out of my car and start screaming at these guys. I go up and start kicking the side of the car, shouting: "HEY. WHAT'S THE FREAKING RUSH!?! YOU'RE NOT LOSING YOUR SPOT IN LINE, YOU LUNATIC!! MAKE SURE YOU SQUEEZE UP THERE AND GET THOSE LAST 4 INCHES WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR 1/4 MI OF STOPPED TRAFFIC, YOU FREAKING IDIOTS!!" I then proceeded to urinate on their windshield and return to my car.
8) Finally, the traffic moves up another car length and the next car lets me cross in front them to my left turn. I leaned out the window, smiled and waved a huge thanks.
9) Of course, #7 above was just one of those fantasy imagination moments you see in movies, where I briefly slip into dreamland and then snap back to reality when the fantasy is over. But I would like to have done just that.
"The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go." -- Winston Churchill