"With every commercial break, your viewers will be exposed to hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry. You will see our legion of (as you call them) 'mayo nay-sayers' snarfing sandwiches topped with our one-of-a-kind flavor in a very cool and totally hip way," the newspaper ad which appeared in Red Eye says. "They will be in your face and massively dope. It goes without saying, they WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN. And you will begin to see the soft, bland white walls of the mayo empire begin to collapse under the weight of its own whipped-egg pretentiousness."
http://www.slashfood.com/2009/11/12/mir ... n-colbert/
Hats off to Colbert for going after these toolbags for trying to pitch the most white of products to hipster douche bags. I know if I'm going to go the Mayo route I'll refuse to give these people my money, Hellmans all the way.