Dumbest Upcoming Movie Ideas

[Guest]

Since I'm on sabatical for the Crystal Ball, I figured I could keep making fun of stupid movies here...most being either idiotic sequels, bad TV adaptations, or third-rate comic book adaptations.

The Green Hornet

Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet? Looking at Cameron Diaz for the girlfriend? And Rogen thought "Observe and Report" tanked at the box office.

The A-Team

Currently, Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) is the only one officially cast, as Faceman. Liam Neeson is rumored for Hannibal Smith (NOOOO), and Common as BA Baracus.

T.J. Hooker

Brilliant! (sarcasm intended). Rumors have this as William Shatner and his Big Giant Head and Ego will be in it as the original TJ, with the film focusing on the relationship he has with his cop son...who is the TJ that will be at the forefront. Evidently, they learned nothing from "Starsky & Hutch".

Hong Kong Phooey

A combination live action/animation. Yeah...that worked so well with "Underdog".

The Smurfs

Hated these little blue bastards on TV...I plan to hate them even more onscreen...unless they all get killed. Then I'll love it.

Asteroids

A movie based on a cheezy 80s video game? I guess bombs made from more recent games (Max Payne, Hitman) made them go in another direction. Can't wait for the "Pacman" movie (that's a joke...but it really wouldn't surprise me). And speaking of which...

Hitman 2

For the 200 people who saw the first one.

Predator

A remake of the original. Not another sequel. Why?

Total Recall

??????

Green Lantern

That's right, fanbois...I went there. And I'll also slam any fool deciding to make a movie about any of the other third rate superheroes like Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Ant-Man (heard that's in development), Green Arrow, etc.

Deadpool

Yeah...because that character was SO interesting in the lame assed Wolverine movie.

Footloose

When Zac Efron drops out...that tells you something. It tells you not to remake this cheesy Kevin Bacon classic.

Fame

Comes out in a few weeks. Don't be looking for any reviews from me on this one.

The Warriors

We've discussed this one earlier...but it just needs to be put here again to amp up the Outrage. For those that missed it, Tony Scott plans to "update it", and move it to LA, making it more about real gangs, and not the stylized semi-fairy tale that Walter Hill used for the original.

Karate Kid

Will Smith is doing this so his brat kid Jaden can get a starring role.

Flight of the Navigator

OK...I have to quit for now after that one. I need some serious tequilla shots to handle contemplating all of these.

More later.

[StewieG]

I'm shocked...shocked, I tell you, that you're not psyched for the Footloose remake.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Karate Kid

Will Smith is doing this so his brat kid Jaden can get a starring role.

Wait...... What? Is Will Smith Asian? Pat Morita was great, why would you fuck with the classics?

Predator should also be left alone, that was a great cast.

Hollywood sucks, this is becoming pathetic. What's next, remaking The Godfather? Hey maybe they could get Seth Rogen to play Sonny.

And how the FUCK do you make a movie based on Asteroids? There was no plot to the game, you see Asteroids, you shoot them. Shit this might make Armageddon and Deep Impact look like award winning material.

[British_Pharaoh]

If you strangle a smurf what colour does it turn?

[Triple-S]

Since I'm on sabatical for the Crystal Ball, I figured I could keep making fun of stupid movies here...most being either idiotic sequels, bad TV adaptations, or third-rate comic book adaptations.

The Green Hornet

Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet? Looking at Cameron Diaz for the girlfriend? And Rogen thought "Observe and Report" tanked at the box office.

I actually really enjoyed "Observe and Report", on first glance it looks like "Paul Blart-Mall Cop", but Rogen and co. go a completely different direction and it's pretty head scratching, and is actually pretty dark in a way. It's sort of in the same mold that a "Big Lebowski" is in, Not as good a movie, but that's more so what you have to think of when going to see it.

Also, to rant in regards to dumb movies, why do "Final Destination" movies keep being made? Every other death scene is so unrealistic and insulting to the manufacturers of some brands that I'm shocked that the producers have not been sued into the stoneage. Yup, an Engine from a awesome top of the line Nascar that somehow is racing at some pathetic short track with limited fencing flying into the crowd somehow physically flipping into the air multiple times (which I have yet to see occur in nascar multiple times), it's engine flies into the stands and somehow lands into the stands killing multiple people.

[jordan kramer]

Since I'm on sabatical for the Crystal Ball, I figured I could keep making fun of stupid movies here...most being either idiotic sequels, bad TV adaptations, or third-rate comic book adaptations.

The Green Hornet

Seth Rogen as the Green Hornet? Looking at Cameron Diaz for the girlfriend? And Rogen thought "Observe and Report" tanked at the box office.

The A-Team

Currently, Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) is the only one officially cast, as Faceman. Liam Neeson is rumored for Hannibal Smith (NOOOO), and Common as BA Baracus.

T.J. Hooker

Brilliant! (sarcasm intended). Rumors have this as William Shatner and his Big Giant Head and Ego will be in it as the original TJ, with the film focusing on the relationship he has with his cop son...who is the TJ that will be at the forefront. Evidently, they learned nothing from "Starsky & Hutch".

Hong Kong Phooey

A combination live action/animation. Yeah...that worked so well with "Underdog".

The Smurfs

Hated these little blue bastards on TV...I plan to hate them even more onscreen...unless they all get killed. Then I'll love it.

Asteroids

A movie based on a cheezy 80s video game? I guess bombs made from more recent games (Max Payne, Hitman) made them go in another direction. Can't wait for the "Pacman" movie (that's a joke...but it really wouldn't surprise me). And speaking of which...

Hitman 2

For the 200 people who saw the first one.

Predator

A remake of the original. Not another sequel. Why?

Total Recall

??????

Green Lantern

That's right, fanbois...I went there. And I'll also slam any fool deciding to make a movie about any of the other third rate superheroes like Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Ant-Man (heard that's in development), Green Arrow, etc.

Deadpool

Yeah...because that character was SO interesting in the lame assed Wolverine movie.

Footloose

When Zac Efron drops out...that tells you something. It tells you not to remake this cheesy Kevin Bacon classic.

Fame

Comes out in a few weeks. Don't be looking for any reviews from me on this one.

The Warriors

We've discussed this one earlier...but it just needs to be put here again to amp up the Outrage. For those that missed it, Tony Scott plans to "update it", and move it to LA, making it more about real gangs, and not the stylized semi-fairy tale that Walter Hill used for the original.

Karate Kid

Will Smith is doing this so his brat kid Jaden can get a starring role.

Flight of the Navigator

OK...I have to quit for now after that one. I need some serious tequilla shots to handle contemplating all of these.

More later.

dumb American movie goers:

[BruceK]

You want dumb? IMDB has a rumor of a "My Fair Lady" remake starring Keira Knightly

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0461136/

[FUDU]

The Smurfs

Hated these little blue bastards on TV...I plan to hate them even more onscreen...unless they all get killed. Then I'll love it.

So you ARE playing Gargamel?

[hermanfontenot]

Mitch is pissed because he's actually going to have to WATCH most of those movies. Sucks to be you!

[BDFD]

Ok, I read a bit into the Predator remake. Predator is one of my top three favorite movies and the thought of a remake pissed me off. It appears just to be a reboot called 'Predators' and is produced and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

http://screenrant.com/rodriguez-director-predators-reboot-carl-6936/

One thing I like about Predator and the old Indy flicks is the special effects are not computer generated, sans the cloaking effect. I'd hate to see a bunch of CGI Predators and locations ruin the filmed realism from the first movie(s).

[e0y2e3]

Ok, I read a bit into the Predator remake. Predator is one of my top three favorite movies and the thought of a remake pissed me off. It appears just to be a reboot called 'Predators' and is produced and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

http://screenrant.com/rodriguez-director-predators-reboot-carl-6936/

One thing I like about Predator and the old Indy flicks is the special effects are not computer generated, sans the cloaking effect. I'd hate to see a bunch of CGI Predators and locations ruin the filmed realism from the first movie(s).

If anyone could pull of a Predator reboot its Rodriguez.

[rebelwithoutaclue]

Also, to rant in regards to dumb movies, why do "Final Destination" movies keep being made? Every other death scene is so unrealistic and insulting to the manufacturers of some brands that I'm shocked that the producers have not been sued into the stoneage. Yup, an Engine from a awesome top of the line Nascar that somehow is racing at some pathetic short track with limited fencing flying into the crowd somehow physically flipping into the air multiple times (which I have yet to see occur in nascar multiple times), it's engine flies into the stands and somehow lands into the stands killing multiple people.

Pssst... it's just a movie.



Every movie has massive logical problems. I always point them out and it's why people hate watching movies with me.

[aoxo1]

Ok, I read a bit into the Predator remake. Predator is one of my top three favorite movies and the thought of a remake pissed me off. It appears just to be a reboot called 'Predators' and is produced and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

http://screenrant.com/rodriguez-director-predators-reboot-carl-6936/

One thing I like about Predator and the old Indy flicks is the special effects are not computer generated, sans the cloaking effect. I'd hate to see a bunch of CGI Predators and locations ruin the filmed realism from the first movie(s).

If anyone could pull of a Predator reboot its Rodriguez.

I'd rather see Machete.

[Cerebral_DownTime]

Ok, I read a bit into the Predator remake. Predator is one of my top three favorite movies and the thought of a remake pissed me off. It appears just to be a reboot called 'Predators' and is produced and directed by Robert Rodriguez.

http://screenrant.com/rodriguez-director-predators-reboot-carl-6936/

One thing I like about Predator and the old Indy flicks is the special effects are not computer generated, sans the cloaking effect. I'd hate to see a bunch of CGI Predators and locations ruin the filmed realism from the first movie(s).

If anyone could pull of a Predator reboot its Rodriguez.

I'd rather see Machete.

For me it's easy, I want to see Werewolf Women Of The SS.

[Jumbo]

Just goes to show that Hollywood thinks it has gotten enough run out of sequels and mash-ups, and now can only resort to direct remakes.

But, I think a remake of Total Recall could be awesome, in an entertaining-if-not-especially-creative way. Kind of like the Star Trek reboot.

[Mr. MacPhisto]

Green Lantern

That's right, fanbois...I went there. And I'll also slam any fool deciding to make a movie about any of the other third rate superheroes like Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Ant-Man (heard that's in development), Green Arrow, etc.

Green Lantern is far from third rate. It's one of the best selling comic titles and would adapt well to films because the stories go beyond Earth. Think of a great Superman movie mixed in with the latest Star Trek movie. That's Green Lantern.

Green Arrow I can understand, though the script out there is quite good (Supermax) - far from standard comic book fare.

Martian Manhunter isn't really planned except if they do Justice League down the road.

Wonder Woman, The Flash, and Green Lantern may all be coming from DC. There's also been some work on Captain Marvel (Shazam!). All of those properties have great potential and each of those names is bigger than Daredevil, Fantastic Four, etc right now. Even Iron Man. He'd be a third rate superhero by your definitions if you throw Green Lantern in there. I thought that movie was pretty good.

Batman is the king of the comic book heroes, as it should be. He and Superman are the oldest and Batman is definitely the most interesting. Though I'd love to see another great Superman flick. Superman Returns had its moments but was too plodding and too obsessed with honoring the Donner flicks. Give me Brainiac or Darkseid as a villain, maybe even using Luthor as a tool.

[Bayou Tribe]

Karate Kid

Will Smith is doing this so his brat kid Jaden can get a starring role.

Wait...... What? Is Will Smith Asian? Pat Morita was great, why would you fuck with the classics?

Will Smith won't be in the movie from what I have read. Jackie Chan will play the role of Mr Myagi.

[Larvell Blanks]

There's also been some work on Captain Marvel (Shazam!).

Leave it just the way I remember..


Maybe they can have Isis do a cameo in the movie!

[Guest]

Karate Kid

Will Smith is doing this so his brat kid Jaden can get a starring role.

Wait...... What? Is Will Smith Asian? Pat Morita was great, why would you fuck with the classics?

Will Smith won't be in the movie from what I have read. Jackie Chan will play the role of Mr Myagi.

That's right. Will Smith is just the producer/creative head of this "idea", and won't be onscreen.

[jack_tors]

Karate Kid

Will Smith is doing this so his brat kid Jaden can get a starring role.

Wait...... What? Is Will Smith Asian? Pat Morita was great, why would you fuck with the classics?

Will Smith won't be in the movie from what I have read. Jackie Chan will play the role of Mr Myagi.

Wow, Will Smith's kid and Jackie Chan remaking a film that remains quite popular. I havent seen an idea with 2 people worse than this one since Two Girls, One Cup.

On a side note, could that be the working title for this film??