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Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

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Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby brooks1957 » Mon Nov 16, 2009 11:09 am

BUCKEYE RULES
(What it means to be a Buckeye)


Never agree to get married on a Saturday Ohio State is scheduled to play football. There are typically 40 other freakin' weekends to choose from...make her/him choose one of those!

Never attend a wedding during an Ohio State football game unless you carry a TV......and watch it even during the ceremony.

It is OK to wear an OSU football jersey even when old....and fat....and bald. Extra points if you've got an OSU baseball cap on backwards.

Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O." This is true even during funerals, in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth of your child.

When Notre Dame plays Michigan, it is mandatory to despise both teams. There are no winners.

You despise the following teams, in order: Michigan , ND, USC, Miami
(that's Florida ), and Bama. (shouldn't we add LSU to this list?)

It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up) during the following:
-Script Ohio
-Your child's first Buckeye game
-Carmen Ohio
-During a Tressel speech
-Listening to "What I Want"
-Remembering Woody
-After beating Michigan
-Winning the National Championship
-When NFL Buckeyes state on MNF that they are from "THE" Ohio State
University.
-Hearing the phrase, "Rest easy Woody, the new man has arrived."
-Ramp entrance

It is not cool to make fun of the Neutron Man. Especially now that he is watching games with Woody.

Buckeye necklaces must be worn at all times on game day, from the time you leave your place of abode until you return.


Always take off your hat during Carmen Ohio and physically remove the hats of anyone in your vicinity who fails to do so.

Never listen to Brett Musberger or Keith Jackson on TV. It's okay to watch the game while listening to 1460 on the radio.

Everyone should rush the field after an OSU home victory over Michigan at least once in their lifetime. (Extra kudos for those of you who rushed the field at IU and tore down THEIR goalposts a few years ago...c'mon you know who you are!).

Attending Skull Session is mandatory at least once each season.

ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every opportunity.

We must all thank God that Dr. Gee is the current president of OSU since the last one didn't have a clue.

When you die, you must have at least one item of Buckeye memorabilia with you. (Specify which one in your will, that way your spouse won't pick something stupid).

You must be willing to die to defend your right to drink beer during tailgates.

You are forbidden to fall for the National Media crap sandwich that Joe Pa is still a "good guy." In reality, he is a bitter, senile old man reduced to a cheerleader and referee-baitor.

Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any game. This is true even if it puts your job/career at risk.

Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to survive the summer.

When in church, it is not sacrilegious to count being a Buckeye as one of your blessings.

Try to never boo a former or current Buckeye football player.

When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments with a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is very cool.

Admit that secretly, you wished you played tuba and could dot the "i." You'd even be willing to put on a few dozen pounds to look the part.

You would not trade the opportunity to swill beer while listening to The Danger Brothers after an OSU victory over Michigan for tickets to any rock band that has ever existed.

It is important to consider the "good old days" ARE NOW. Enjoy them even when OSU doesn't win the NC.

Drinking alcohol before 9:00 A.M. is, at best, immature, and likely, a sign of a serious problem. Except on game day.

It is never ok to talk to a stranger at the urinal next to you unless he is dressed in OSU garb. That said, the topic should be limited to Buckeye football.

There are no bad seats in the Shoe.

If you attend a game at Wisconsin , you must never engage in "Jump Around" at the end of the third quarter no matter how tempting. Also, never, and I mean never, take your kids to a Wisconsin game unless you want to explain why everyone there are drunken jerks.

If your spouse asks you what was the greatest night of your life, admit the truth that it was January 3, 2003.

Plant a Buckeye tree in your yard. Hang a Buckeye flag on game day. If any of your neighbors counter with a Michigan flag, it is your solemn duty to tear it down and
deface it anyway you see fit.

It is "ok" to not get the drum major thing; it is "not ok" to fail to cheer when the plume touches the field.

In honor of Woody, the principle of "paying forward" should be practiced at all times by all Buckeyes.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby swerb » Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:01 pm

I got married on the day of the OSU/NC State 3 OT win in 2002. The year they had Phillip Rivers and were top 10 in the country. Get to the bus after the wedding, game is in the first OT. TV on the bus. Get to the place we went to get pictures taken, game is in 3 OT. None of my groomsmen will get off the bus. Maid of honor also Buckeye grad, huge fan, won't get off either. Was almost the shortest marriage ever.

And it is true, there are no bad seats in the Shoe. None.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby pup » Mon Nov 16, 2009 12:04 pm

Swerb wrote:I got married on the day of the OSU/NC State 3 OT win in 2002. The year they had Phillip Rivers and were top 10 in the country. Get to the bus after the wedding, game is in the first OT. TV on the bus. Get to the place we went to get pictures taken, game is in 3 OT. None of my groomsmen will get off the bus. Maid of honor also Buckeye grad, huge fan, won't get off either. Was almost the shortest marriage ever.

And it is true, there are no bad seats in the Shoe. None.


Still scared of Rich's wife. The look we all got stepping off that bus would make Gruden look cool as a cat.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby motherscratcher » Mon Nov 16, 2009 1:03 pm

Swerb wrote:I got married on the day of the OSU/NC State 3 OT win in 2002. The year they had Phillip Rivers and were top 10 in the country. Get to the bus after the wedding, game is in the first OT. TV on the bus. Get to the place we went to get pictures taken, game is in 3 OT. None of my groomsmen will get off the bus. Maid of honor also Buckeye grad, huge fan, won't get off either. Was almost the shortest marriage ever.

And it is true, there are no bad seats in the Shoe. None.


I was at that game. It's the first game I was able to score tickets by mine and take my parents. One of the best games I've ever seen. Crazy comeback by Rivers and the Wolfpack.

There were a couple of NCST fans by us that kept chanting "Go T.A...Go TA...Go T.A" every damn time T.A. McLendon touched the ball. It was all I could do keep from punching one of them in the face to shut them up. Obviously my mother would have considered that bad form. At the end of the game I was going to turn an do that right back at them When McLendon got stuffed at the 1. I was just too damn exhausted and emotionally spent.

By the way, that game was in 2003. Don't mess that up in front of your wife.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby motherscratcher » Mon Nov 16, 2009 1:03 pm

Oh Yeah, good list Brooks.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby Cerebral_DownTime » Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:51 pm

Always, and I mean ALWAYS, return any "O...H" with a hearty "I...O." This is true even during funerals, in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth of your child.


You can be on the OSU campus at 3:30 am in February, yell "O-H" and you will get an "I-O" in return.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby bks92II » Mon Nov 16, 2009 6:56 pm

I saw those before those are 100% no laughing matter.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby motherscratcher » Mon Nov 16, 2009 7:53 pm

bks92II wrote:I saw those before those are 100% no laughing matter.


JTDC, dude. Would you mix in the occasional punctuation. Complete sentences are your friend.

I haven't said anything on your other posts, but you are going to force me to unleash Mrs. Jamtoss' Red Pen Of Death.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby fairvis » Tue Nov 17, 2009 4:21 am

brooks1957 wrote:When making fun of guys in marching bands always caveat your comments with a statement that, regardless of what you just said, anyone in TBDBITL is very cool.


Amen to that, brother. Thank you.

I'm lucky that I got to rush the field at the Big House in 2005. Happiest day of my life, man, after seeing Gonzo catch that pass from Troy I knew we had 'em. After being in the Big House in '03 where we lost in the third quarter after allowing 2 TDs, the 2005 game was a catharsis of all of the Michigan losses I've ever experienced. Nice to have that pic of me in uniform pointing at the scoreboard (25-21) on the field at the World's Largest Toilet Bowl.

Oh, and I learned that year that I should never jump into Mirror Lake. Since I started OSU in 2001, OSU is 7-1 against Michigan, the one loss being in 2003 when I jumped into the lake.
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Re: Mandatory rules for ALL Buckeye fans

Unread postby Guest » Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:36 pm

I remember Swerb's wedding like it was yesterday because of being on that bus.
Crazy shit, thought we were all dead, not just Rich.
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