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The B-List: 4/12

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The B-List: 4/12

Unread postby swerb » Thu Apr 13, 2006 2:52 pm

Look, I can take losing. Great teams still lose sixty games. But I hate going down without putting my best players in the best position to win. That's a stick right in the ol' eye.

1) "The food here is terrible." "Yes, and such small portions."

It can be argued that Paul Byrd is a journeyman who did not deserve $7M a year. It could be argued that the Indians signed Byrd to a going-rate contract and got away with only guaranteeing two years. It can NOT be argued that sporting a 10.24 ERA with a sub-ONE K:BB ratio is what anyone had in mind. Look, the first inning, you give up a couple hits and a run, big deal. Second inning, a triple but no damage, hey, we're not talking about a 0.9 WHIP/9 guy here. But the third inning: good grief, the man gave up four runs on TWO BLOODY HITS. Three guys walk, and they all score. Wasn't that the point of Paul Byrd, that the walks would come at a Silva-esque pace? At least Radke-esque? Not Bobby Witt? Isn't that the Selling Point? Do we need some Lasik here or something?

Anyway, getting yanked in the 4th wasn't what I was looking for, certainly not against Gil Meche.

2) Do you know the Mullet Man?

I've written this column in the past. Each year, I latch on to someone who must be removed from my roster immediately. In the past, I have lobbied diligently for the removal of Jerrod Riggan, Chad Paronto, and Kane Davis. These are not hard decisions to make, people. Do I border on the irrational in my vilification? It could be argued thusly. The B-List is nothing if not visceral.

And my goddan viscera wants Danny Graves off this goddam roster. Good Lord, what was this man doing out there in the sixth inning? The man threw 24 strikes and 17 balls. He gave up an average of a walk AND two hits per INNING. Yes, he induced a ground ball to Sexson in the 4th. Yes, he induced a double play in the fifth. But this is not a man who was "sharp." Tell me, what is your sense of well-being after this sequence:

Y Betancout singled to shallow center
I Suzuki singled to right, Y Betancourt to second
Y Betancourt to third, I Suzuki to second on wild pitch by D Graves

Okay, this is not a man who "has it," right? Betancourt appears to be better than I gave him credit for, and Ichiro, despite a slump, is rumored to be able to hit a little. But after walking a guy after letting Beltre waltz to second in the last inning, wouldn't the wild pitch be kind of like, say, the LAST FUCKING STRAW?

3) Please poke the manager with a stick, he has dozed off again

Walking Ibanez is defensible. Letting Graves pitch to Sexson was not. Heck, bringing Graves in in the first place was pretty strange, unless he "had to get his work in." Fine. Give him the fifth. Then bring in Davis to start the sixth. Or, once it gets to Sexson up bases loaded, bring in Betancourt. Or Cabrera. Or Gumby. Or Teddy the Wonder Lizard. Don't get beat with the ninety-third best pitcher in the organization (I hear Matt Whitney's knuckleball rivals R. A. Dickey's). Look at 6-5, this is an exciting game. At 10-5, it's a chore to come back. They almost did, but that's not the point. Even if you pitch carefully to Sexson and walk in a run (and walking Sexson in that situation would be a feat), Beltre and Everett are batting under .150 coming into the game. Ice cold! Argh!

4) You sure you got enough dynamite there, Butch?

Travis Hafner has now homered 6 times in 6 games. One might claim that he's strong. By the way, his batting average in Jacobs Field is .647, approximately the same as the Cavs' free throw percentage. (Not really. It's pretty good, though.)

5) Small sample size follies!

Casey Blake has more RBI than Travis Hafner (or any other Indian, for that matter)
Eduardo Perez has more RBI than Ron Belliard and Ben Broussard combined
Ramon Vazquez has struck out more times than Casey Blake
Raul Ibanez is now hitting .353 after going 4-for-4
Danny Graves is a fungus

6) Welcome to Cleveland, here's your ticket back to Beefalo

Jason Davis was not spectacular or anything, but 2 solid innings in which he threw strikes (were Paul and Danny watching?): 16 strikes, 5 balls. This led to 2 Ks and 4 GB outs. I conjectured that Davis would need to raise his K rate or induce more ground balls to become an effective reliever: he may be doing both.

And now he probably gets the wazoo so Fausto Carmona can start against the Tigers.

Hey, I have an idea! How about shaving Danny Graves' head and sending him down instead?

7) Statistics in action!

Jason Michaels was touted as an effective top-of-the-order guy by statheads because he got on base at near a .400 clip, much of which was the result of a high walk rate. After 2 more walks tonight, Michaels continues to sport a higher OBP than SLG. (Actually, an extra-base hit wouldn't be bad, dude. Neither would a haircut.)

8 ) The calf seems okay

Ron Belliard had 2 RBI on a hit Tuesday, and scored three runs on two more hits tonight. This serves two purposes: it ignites the bottom of the order (especially for top RBI man Casey Blake (!)), and it keeps Ramon Vazquez off the bloody field. The first probably helps more toward winning, but the second helps more toward my gastric health.

9) Ducks on the pond!

This is the first game where leaving guys stranded really bit us on the behind: 8 guys stranded, 4 in scoring position. Ouch.
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Re: The B-List: 4/12

Unread postby gnati » Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:06 pm

I have nothing to say about last nights game but this, and it is duly noted my fondness for hyperbolizingnessocity...

I have never, in all my years on this planet, seen a more bone fucking headed play than what I saw in the bottom of the first where the Jason Michaels and Honny Peralta teamed up for a daily double of stupidity that will never, EVER come close to being repeated.

To recap...Michaels on second, Peralta on first, and the hottest hitter in the Western Fucking Hemosphere is at bat with a full count and one out. Gil Fucking Meche wants nothing to do with Travis Hafner, as witnessed by a 4 pitch walk to start the second. Wait, how did Hafner start the second if there was only one out you ask? Because Jason Michaels and Honny Peralta have meat products, likely Spam, between their ears.

It is bad enough falling for the fake pitch to home swirl around and get picked off second when you have a slug at the plate...but to do it with Hafner at the plate in that situation is unforgiveable...and for Honny to then get caught off first base after Michaels fails to get into a rundown...pulling off the first double play I have ever god damn seen without throwing a pitch...


Stunned silence. I sat there unable to move. My jaw couldn't even drop. With apologies to jack buck, try believe what you just saw right there big fella where ever you are.

I am still beside myself at the thought of that play. I am so beside myself there are hundreds of me in the room right now all standing beside each other, like when you look into a mirror with a mirror behind you.

Damn, I have digressed into unintelligable garble...I will never be the same after that one.

No siree, never the same.
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Unread postby Guest » Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:31 pm

Just think -- KING Felix will be on the mound for the Mariners at the Jake tonite, but KING James will be sitting on the bench at The Q. Hopefully it's only a sprained ankle. Maybe after the games they should fight for the throne.

Unread postby pup » Thu Apr 13, 2006 7:53 pm

How about that Jason Michaels on the bases? Maybe this is why he couldn't play everyday. He is a brick between the ears! Last night is the first time I have ever seen that play work in that situation. Now tonight he is going to jog into second, stop, then start to run when the throw is halfway to the plate? Dude, maybe all that hair is starting to interfere with some brain activity. Either run hard all the way or STOP. Quit taking run producing situations away from Hafner or you may find a way to sneak into the list.

25. Danny Graves
24. Todd Hollandsworthless
23. Ramn Vazquez
22. You do not want to be here, because those guys might not be around for long and whoever replaces them will be loved.
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